Dear Diary: Sixth Grade

Ah, puberty.

May 28

School’s out. Wow! This year went by so fast. But that’s probly because it’s been the best year ever!

Theresa’s party is in about 40 minutes and OF COURSE Mom won’t let me go.

Jeff gave me tons of candy today: 1 pack candy cigarettes, peanut butter M&Ms, Red Hots, Starbursts, Nerds, a MONGO Kit-Kat, and a pack of gum.

I don’t hate Jerry anymore. He’s really nice now. A good friend.

I think I love Sam. Oh no.

Days of Our Lives scrapbook made in sixth grade

May 30

Ellie’s coming to the pool with us today.

“Days” was so good today.

But ugh! I hate Victor Kiriakis.

He is such a jerk.

He wants Kimber’s baby but that’s just too bad because Shane’s the father and old Emma had to change the dumb test results so Victor thinks Andrew is his!

Shawn moved out, Caroline’s in fits, Kayla’s back, but Patch is soon behind her.

And to top the happiness off for the Bradys, Caroline is fixing to shoot somebody.

Victor? Herself? Who knows.

We’ll just have to wait till Monday to find out.

sample scrapbook page

May 31

Hello. Oh well. Goodbye.

June 1

Hello.

Sally came over today and we went to the pool.

We were on the ladder and saw the boys and had a cow.

Oh well. Bye.

June 2

Hello. I am bored.

It’s 10:53 so I have a while until “Days” comes on.

I do NOT like Sam like everyone says.

Oh well. Bye bye 4 now!

June 3

“Days” wuz good today.

Sally is spending the night, I’m getting a hair cut, and we’re having pizza for din. Doesn’t that all sound great?

June 9

Well, unfortunately Victor Fartiocas didn’t get shot.

I was mad.

So was everyone else in the world, probably.

But at least Bo said he’d move in with good old Vic so now he might leave Andrew alone.

Sally and Ellie left for camp Friday.

I’m eagerly awaiting a letter from Sally.

Bye.

June 21

We’re going to see Karate Kid 2! I can’t wait. GLORY OF LOVE!

August 17

Gosh! It’s sure been a while since I’ve written. Did ya miss me? Oh well!

School starts Wednesday.

Today’s Sunday.

I’m so looking forward to it, but don’t tell anyone.

They’d think I’m weird.

The only thing I’m worried about is my glasses.

I’m talking MAJOR embarrassment when I have to put them on in class for the first time.

But I don’t want to think about it.

Well, here’s the latest update from the newspaper I’m writing.

SASSY SIXTH GRADERS: August Edition.

Well, folks. It turns out that the gang is spread out this year.

Gossip Column and Personal Junk:

Sara got her period. Our biggest congrats to her for that big achievement.

Sassy Sixth Graders has heard from a source that we are not going to reveal that Sam likes Sally, but we’re not sure.

But we DO know that Jeff still loves Eliza. But who can blame him. [I am so sure. --Ed.]

Jane is ready for her second perm. Good luck, Jane.

Classifieds:

Gerbils for sale. Thousands of gerbils. Call Jeff if interested.

Priceless, preppy magazine pictures for sale. Call Carrie if interested.

Lost and found:

One star-shaped earring. Owner is Ellie. Will die if she doesn’t get it back. Reward: Her prized golf clubs.

Dear Elenor Column:

Dear Elenor: I’m just frantic. I’m having second thoughts about breaking up with my boyfriend, a short, dark, and handsome guy. What shall I do? –Tall lady.

Dear Tall lady: I think you should definitely tell him how you feel. If that doesn’t work, simply force him to eat an egg raw until he agrees to go with you. Then you can live happily ever after.

August 21

School has started.

I haven’t put on my glasses in class.

I guess tomorrow will be the day.

I’m positively petrified.

And believe me, if there really was a “Dear Elenor,” I’d write to her for sure.

Jerry’s having a party tomorrow night.

About a zilllion people are going.

Including me!

I can’t believe Mom said I could go!

Major wow time, if you know what I mean.

October 10

I love “The Greatest Love of All.”

I loved everything about 5th grade.

I loved the people in my class.

I miss everything.

I think I am going to cry.

October 25

I love Love Story.

When I’m grown up I’m going to give it to my kids to read.

I’ve never felt this way before about a book.

Note: Next up: all Stand By Me, all the time. It had a profound impact on me and I could basically neither speak nor think of anything else for a long time. –Ed.

March 23

I haven’t written in sooooo long. Oh my God! I saw Stand By Me! It was positively the best movie ever made. EVER! It was so special. I have 2 posters of River Phoenix (Chris) and one of Corey Feldman, who is yuck, but he wuz Teddy in S.B.M. so it duzn’t matter. Personally, I liked Gordey the best & his real name is Wil Wheaton but there are no posters of him and there was this really funny guy named Vern who always said, “Sincerely” and liked cherry flavored pez and Oh! It was just so good. AAAAH! I am absolutely about to die! I called “Star Vidio” and they have S.B.M.! Dad’s conna COPY IT! I’m about to pass out! Oh well, I better go. I’ll tell ya more about S.B.M. later. I have to go find the missing library book!

March 24

Hi! Didn’t expect me back so soon, did ya? Well, its Tuesday morning and hopefully Stand By Me will be taped and AT OUR HOUSE TONIGHT! I’m so excited! Oh my gosh I can hardly stand it. Oh yeah! On Apr. 7 wait, the bus is here. More later!

March 24

Hiya, hiya! Whew. I just had a real scare. None of the vidio places had S.B.M. in but I called Vidio Palace and they had it! Dad’s picking it up later!!! Oh yeah. On the last entry I started saying “On April 7…” well now I’ll continue. I’ve gotten 3 magazines w/ pictures of S.B.M. people & I’m ordering 3 more. Anyway, they had what will be in the next issue and they have stuff on River and Wil! It comes out Apr. 7. I can’t wait!

April 13

I have Stand By Me! I’m dying! Sally’s over here. I now have 5 pics of R.P. and 2 of C.F. and 1 of W.W. Those are mag. page size. I have almost my whole bullitin board full of little pics of all of them. They’re cute! On April 7 I got “16″ magazine and on the back it says that the next issue will have behind the scene secrets of S.B.M. I can’t wait till May 5 when it comes out.

April 15

Katie is coming over later. It’s gonna be fun! Did I ever tell you that me and Sally might go to Hawaii and CALIFORNIA this summer? She invited me to go with her if her Mom and Dad decide to go. FUN-NESS! We might even meet River PHOENIX and WIL WHEATON! Aaaaa!

April 19

La, la. Sally’s over here.

Mom’s taking me to buy “Teen Beat” and “Teen Machine.”

La, la. I have 6 pics of River-o now.

I hate Callie.

To hell helly hilly holly hollow hellish hell with her!

I, evil to the heart, Eliza.

cover of my copy, on which I drew eye make-up on Trissy's sad eyes

Note: Last two sentences of diary, grade 6, were plagiarized from I, Trissy by the great Norma Fox Mazer, a truly wonderful book. It’s the first book I can remember reading that was set up like the narrator’s diary, but it was as if she were typing her diary on a typewriter her dad gave her after her parents split up that she immediately identified as a bribe for her affection. I thought this book was the most awesome thing. The print looks like it was actually typed on her typewriter, typos and all. She writes stories and hateful treatises about her family members and all about the stupid things she does and the trouble she gets into. Trissy Jane Beers had balls, and I wanted to be just like her. – Ed.

(Dear Diary: Fifth Grade)

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6 Responses to Dear Diary: Sixth Grade

  1. Jennifer says:

    People keep walking by my office, wondering why I’m giggling. Don’t worry, I won’t tell them the truth. ;-)

  2. ML says:

    You are IMPORTANT! OMG. I, Trissy! How awesome was that book?

  3. Shannan says:

    Love your ‘Days’ recaps – reminds me of my grandfather – he used to call him Victor Kiri-axx-hole.

  4. cate says:

    I have such a vague recollection of I, Trissy. But my library does not have it! do I buy the $4 one on amazon? tempted.

    that is a rocking hairbow.

  5. Andrea says:

    I cannot tell you how much I LUV that Days scrapbook!

  6. ALH says:

    The Days recaps have made my LIFE.

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