 Baby |
My friend had a baby today. Other friends have had babies before, and they are all adorable and funny and much loved, but it's different today. This is a friend I've had since I was ten years old. We've been through a lot. Right now, we're probably as close as we've ever been, but tonight, she's so far away. And my excitement is bittersweet, because I wish I could be there, meeting this baby on the day she is born and seeing my friend who is now -- what? -- a mother. And I know this must be a beautiful baby, and I cannot wait to meet her, but at the same time, there is an evil part of me that is helplessly mourning the way things used to be. And this is a horrible thing to admit, but there I go. I feel like Ellyn on thirtysomething when she's adjusting to the fact that Hope now has a child. And she always gives the wrong presents, and she doesn't understand when Hope has to bring the baby along, and finally she just pouts, "I knew you first!" Or something just as immature and self-centered and bratty. And part of me sort of feels like that. And I'm sitting here refusing to watch Trista and Ryan's Wedding and listening to Rufus Wainwright singing The Origin of Love and I have tears in my eyes, because more than anything, I wish I could be with my friend tonight, and hold that baby, and be just a tiny part of this new life that has been born and this new life that my friend is starting. Okay, some pictures just came via email, and I burst into tears! Tears. Tears are what I am shedding right now. She is glorious and beautiful and perfect. This is one of those moments, you know? One of the big ones. And I just wish I were there. Or that she were here. Because even though we're all grown up and spread out all over the place, there are times when it would feel a lot righter if we were together. And maybe that's just the holidays talking, and I'm getting maudlin while diving headfirst into another giant plate of carbs, but I wish we could all be together tonight. I guess all I can really say at this point is that Philadelphia sure would be a sight for these weary eyes. And then get down on my knees like Corky and Libby Mae Brown and wish very very hard for a swift reunion for all of us.
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