December 3, 2004 Tree Shaking

From: Eliza Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004, 8:40 AM To: Professor Smart Subject: shaking trees Hi, I took your class in the spring of 1995. I am in the throes of writing a speech for work. In scrambling to come up with something interesting or inspirational, I had a random flashback to your class when you told us a story that involved shaking a tree. I remembered that I really liked the story and thought it might be apropos for the speech I'm working on, but I couldn't remember exactly how it went, so I determined to find it. I dug out the box of old college notebooks from the top of my hall closet and went through the notes from your class, and even though I found all kinds of interesting notes on everything from sex to Mardi Gras, I could not find that story. So I decided to dig out my old journal from that year, and sure enough, my entry of May 6, 1995, closed with this paragraph: I am still in awe of my teachers. Of what they know. Smart's last sociology lecture was "The Meaning of Life." The class was tiny -- 75% walked out when he said that it was optional and that no exam questions would come from the lecture. But we stayed, Kristin and I and some others. Smart said that the final lecture was a gift to himself -- saying what he felt. He closed with a Zen Buddhist fable -- a tale about a monk meticulously attempting to perfect a garden. He placed every leaf and every stick with precision, and everything was tidy and orderly and serene. The Zen Master came, grabbed a branch, and shook it until the dry leaves rattled and crumbled off, covering the grass and the flowers here and there, floating in the pond. "Now," the Zen Master said, "That's better." Smart said, "Whatever you do, try, in life, always to find someone who will shake your tree." Anyway, I enjoyed this little blast from the past and thought you might, too. Your class was the only Sociology class I ever took, but it was one of my favorites from all of college. I hope you are still telling this great little story that I still remember almost 10 years later. Best, Eliza ::: From: Professor Smart Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004, 8:49 AM To: Eliza Subject: RE: shaking trees What a fun message. I always tell the story, but I don’t usually teach Intro much this past few years. It’s my favorite course though. There is one other thing I said-maybe not in that particular class but I say it: course evaluations are not of any use. The only course evaluation that is worth anything is when a former student comes up to you ten years later. I will always save your email. Best! Smart ::: And this little exchange left the biggest smile on my face. I can't tell you how weird it was to flip through the pages of that notebook and remember some of the cool stuff we studied or even my own journal in 1995 and all that was on my mind. My writing back then was so dense and small that I have to squint to read it. I hate lined journals, so the letters are just a blur of squished thought and emotion in black ink. Sometimes I really do wish I could go back to college. In Avenue Q, the song goes, "In college you know who you are." Which, at least in my case, is a blatant lie. I think in college I was probably more lost than ever before or since if judging from the kind of anguish I spewed forth on a daily basis in those journals. It's so funny and also so not that my issues are all fundamentally the same. Food. Loneliness. Feeling different from others. Love of TV shows and books and movies. Longing for true love. Back then, I was getting a lot more drunk on a regular basis, going out, staying out late, partying, and being kind of a maniac, but at heart, I'm still the same now that I was then. It's all very strange. I can't flip through them for too long because I just get lost. ::: About this time in ... 2003 12/03: It was worth watching just to ogle Kyan as he performed that spontaneous pull-up on the dressing room door to warn, "You'd better be nice to my friend Carson!" 12/02: And it's almost like I'm jumping back into that hole with myself and saying, "Look. We've been down here before. We know the way out. We're not staying. Come on, let's go." 12/01: Later we watched Days of Our Lives and really were quite beside ourselves when Sami chopped off Kate's head as it sat taunting her from atop a turkey's body and when Cassie fell dead and bloody out of the giant turkey piñata. 2002 12/02: Meghan was her typically rude self to him, but her line about if Noel and Felicity get back together that she will vomit, she will vomit right here on this carpet, and you can videotape it? 12/01: One time I was so upset about potentially missing Buffy that I broke the door down. 2001 12/02: And no matter what happens, I want to remember these times. 12/01: But these actors sold this story to me on a level so deep in my heart that I still well up with tears when I hear George say, "I built myself a life." get notified. journal archives © Copyright 2004 elb