 When Kindness Falls Like Rain |
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Voodoo Fest. The traffic was so heinous, I seriously almost smashed my head through the windshield. Listening to the Offpring's Best Road Rage Song Of All Time, "Bad Habit," probably didn't help matters much. We arrived in time for Eminem after walking forty-five minutes from the car to City Park. I mean, forty-five minutes. We entertained ourselves by singing songs from Annie -- the Broadway musical, not the movie. M. is the only person I know who also knows songs like "We'd Like to Thank You Herbert Hoover." I used to be able to find some degree of amusement in listening to Eminem songs like "The Real Slim Shady." No longer. Rarely in my entire life have I been as repulsed as I was by the Eminem fans plastered around us. They were sweaty, they were pimply, and they were scowling. M. (the PhD candidate in clinical psychology) repeatedly diagnosed passers-by with some kind of dysfunction or disorder. "That adolescent is so obviously bi-polar," she would announce. It made me laugh. Everyone looked miserable. It was just gruesome. It was so hot. It was like the Apocalypse or something. Mr. Mathers was so vile, profane, inarticulate, and ridiculous. I can't even dwell on it too much, because I start feeling ill. It wasn't that peaceful, happy outdoor concert feeling. It was cramped, testosterone-filled claustrophobia, and I wanted no part of it. In fact, I've chosen to block out pretty much every single aspect of the day except for Live and the Counting Crows, who were completing their summer tour that night. We spread our blanket out in the grass right in front of a giant screen and watched the sun go down and the stars come out. I've never really been a Live fan, but I was quickly won over. Ed Kwhateverhisnameis has a gorgeous voice, and he was such a kind and gentle frontman -- a welcome relief after the bombastic horror that was Marshall Mathers. He began with "Lightning Crashes" and ended with "Dance With You," and it was just a lovely set. I have long been a fan of the Counting Crows (shut up), and they did not disappoint. J. asked me to call him and hold the phone up when they played "Colorblind" -- that was the first song, but of course, the phone didn't work. It was beautiful. Standouts were "Round Here," "Long December," "I Wish I Was a Girl," and my God, "Anna Begins." You know back in the days when the only way to mix up music was to make mix tapes? Before CD burners and Napster? Well, I was a mix tape junkie. I made themed mix tapes. Happy mix tapes, sad mix tapes, dance mix tapes. Remember those songs that you just had to put on every single mix tape no matter what? I had a few of those. "Just Like Heaven." "You Are the Everything." "Romeo and Juliet." And always, always "Anna Begins." It's on AUGUST AND EVERYTHING AFTER, in case you're wondering. It's number five. I love it because it's basically a song about fear. I won't go into the lyrics, because let's face it, I've been quite the quote whore lately. But it's about finding yourself falling for someone and alternately giving into and pulling away from the strength of your attraction. It's about that push and pull, that coming and going. It's the fear of giving in to someone -- and the regret you feel when that person slips away. Somehow, in my life, it's a song that has never gone out of style. Out of date. I guess its theme is similar to my theme. Which is probably just sad. But hearing it live was a wonderful thing. I sat on the grass in the darkness with my chin resting on the tops of my knees, which were pulled closely to my chest. Watching Adam Duritz hold up his palm, look up at the sky, and sing with a sweet smile on his face, "This time, when kindness falls like rain, it washes me away, and Anna begins to change my mind. And everytime she sneezes, I believe it's love and oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing." I wept. I did.
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© Copyright 2000 words diminish |
 Reading Eight Plus One, a book of short stories by Robert Cormier. Hearing Annie Lennox, Why Inspiration du Jour The placenta falls to the floor. Live, Lightning Crashes |
