 Packing, Cramps, & David E. Kelley |
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Apparently my body foresees that the theme of JournalCon is starvation and has thus propelled me to eat the entire contents of my refrigerator over the past two days. I guess it's a hoarding mechanism. I have a confession to make. I have watched The Brotherhood of Poland, New Hampshire. I have watched every episode so far. And in fact, I kind of like it. I don't want to like it! I thought I had sworn off David E. Kelley forever and ever. But I reminded myself last night as I was watching that I have loved several of his shows on a deep level. I mean, Picket Fences. Loved it. Loved every weird, crazy moment of it. Thought Kathy Baker deserved every damn Emmy she won for it. LOVED Don Cheadle on it. Chicago Hope. Loved that, too. A lot. Loved Geiger and Shutt and the lawyer played by the Biscuit from Ally McBeal. And I certainly loved Ally McBeal with all of my damn heart during its first season or two. And I started loving less -- nay, even despising -- those shows after his influence on them decreased over time. (For the record: I have NEVER liked Boston Public.) So I don't know why I'm surprised to be enjoying this new show, but I am. I mean, I think David E. Kelley is a pig whose portrayal of women and women's issues is so offensive sometimes that I want to put my foot through the TV. I really do. And I'll admit that I first watched it for Mare Winningham, whom I love, and Lisa knows why. And also, my sister knows why, because we must have watched with my mother a tape of a TV movie she starred in called Love Is Never Silent about a thousand times when we were kids and we would all wail and cry from the movingness of it all. (Oh my GOD, I'm just reading that she was briefly married to A Martinez in the '70s! As in Cruz Castillo! I am reeling. Okay.) (And the movie won the '85-'86 Emmy for outstanding drama special! And it deserved it! I swear. It was set during the Depression and Mare's parents were both deaf and she fell in love with a soldier. That's mainly what I remember. And it was AWESOME.) Anyway, I'm not even annoyed by her singing on the show, because I love her voice, and overall, I just love her. And I really like her character Dottie so far, what with the buying of the theater and everything. So I first watched it because of her, but now I've found that I just keep watching it every week. And it's totally David E. Kelleyish, which is annoying and appalling on many levels, but sometimes, it just makes me laugh out loud. And the acting is really good, even though the kids bug me kind of, and I still cannot believe that Willard grew up to be Chris Penn. I mean, what? Seriously? How did that happen? And Elizabeth McGovern, whom I've never really liked, is beautiful! I don't know. It's like, I don't want to like it, but I kind of do. And now that I've admitted this, I feel somewhat purged. Because someone HATES me, I guess, I'm starting my period today and already feel like bung. I'm hoping that high doses of anaprox will help me get through the weekend without fetal positioning myself in the back corner during the discussion panels. I opened my closet this morning hoping to be struck with some kind of inspiration as to what to pack, but -- nothing. I guess I'll end up doing it tonight or at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow. It's really no fun to prance about trying on outfits when one's bloated womb is convulsing in pain and jutting out to kingdom come. I just went home on an early lunch escape to take an anaprox but not before eating peanut butter and jelly on a wasa cracker, a handful of pretzels, a string cheese, and a cinnamon graham cracker. I always projectile vomit when taking stuff like anaprox or advil unless I have substantial amounts of food in my stomach, and I'm not feeling it coming on yet, so I think I'm safe. I truly hope I can mentally stifle these pangs of nausea and pain by the time I set foot on a plane tomorrow, or Melissa is going to deem me a most unpleasant traveling partner. I would like to say that I never saw Pirates of the Caribbean and that galls me. And what the fuck exactly is up with Yahoo mail these days? Every other time I login, I get this bullshit message: "Unfortunately, we are unable to process your request at this time. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please try again later." Irritating. I am nervous about tomorrow! I feel I need to make this announcement in advance: I am from south Louisiana. I am from the South. I talk like I am from the South. Sometimes when I meet people, this jars them somewhat. I don't know what people expect my voice to sound like, but it seems like it's never what it actually sounds like. I think it was Dawn who told me once that she didn't expect me to sound like such a girly-girl. Did I dream that? Maybe? But I am a hick, through and through. So just consider yourself warned. I realize I will not be the only hick there, but I might be among the hickiest. That is all. And here is my public service announcement about house numbers. I have been searching for new house numbers in an obsessed frenzy over the past few weeks. I have scoured house numbers available online and only found one site where they seemed like anything I could stomach. But I was wary of ordering them because I like to see and hold and inspect things like this before I buy them. And $10.50 a pop plus shipping is nothing to sneeze at when you're buying four numbers. So I searched all over town in every little house and home boutique in this city, and there are several, and I avoided Home Depot and Lowe's because I figured they would have just the plain old boring Home Depot and Lowe's numbers that I hate. (Including the ceramic tile ones I bought there when I first moved in, hung crooked, and have hated them ever since.) On the way home from my cousin's wedding on Saturday, I forced my mother to stop at the Restoration Hardware in Metairie because the one here closed, and I heard they had cute ones there. Well, most of them were from this site, and I liked them, but they didn't have any damn fours. So I took it as a sign. And I finally broke down and went to Lowe's the next day, and lo and behold, they had these! And they were only $5.96 apiece! And the angels sang and the heavens rejoiced, and I bought them. So when in doubt, just go to Lowe's. They might have something cute there, and you might save lots of money. And my dad hung them for me like a champ, and I am pleased. Please tell me you are reading the Newlyweds recaps at Shelleyness. Why someone is not recruiting her to write these for TWoP is beyond me. They are hilarious and too cool for school.
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