 A Bit of Earth |
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Today was a day I will not soon forget. I don't even know how to explain it. I spent the day at a Habitat for Humanity site, and I did so many things I never imagined I'd be able to do. I cut and measured and installed insulation. I cut and measured and nailed vinyl siding. I did all kinds of things. It was the perfect cool sunny October day when everything alive breathes a sigh of relief as the scorching heat and humidity of August and September suddenly dissipate and disappear. We worked on two houses with the homeowners working by our sides under the shade of oak trees. I had fiberglass on my skin and in my eyes and carried boxes that were probably way too heavy for me. I was teaching other people how to do things after not having a clue how to do them myself the minute before. Here is the thing. I always tested really well on the math portion of standardized tests, but I can't figure out really simple things sometimes, like counting up my points in Scrabble. It took me decades to figure out that thing with change where if it's $1.05 and you give them a $5 bill and a nickel they'll give you $4 back instead of $3.95. Like, I could not wrap my mind around that for years and years, and Shelley must have tried to explain it to me about a thousand times until one day I finally got it. As for maps, I can't read them, and I will freely admit that the only way I turned in my geology lab homework involving drawing contour maps was to get Gena to draw them for me. I just have a mental block with that sort of thing -- seeing something on paper and interpreting how it is supposed to actually look in real life. I got a 3/15 on the spatial perception portion of the PSAT where you look at shapes that are broken up into pieces and you have to figure out what shapes they are when they're put together. Three right. Out of fifteen. THREE! That was very traumatic for me. Obviously, if I still remember it about fourteen years later. So I'm not really the best at measuring things. And I quivered today a little bit every time someone slapped a tape measure in my hand and told me to go measure a space on the wall or the side of the house. Measuring is not my friend. Also, I am kind of a spastic individual. I am not coordinated. I am not strong. I have a politically incorrect friend who calls me "Somalian Arms." Okay? Yes. Horrible but true. I'm just not the kind of person whom you'd normally trust to have to cut things in a straight line and nail them into the inside or outside of a wall. Probably you wouldn't relish the idea of seeing me climb a ladder, and you'd never stand behind me while I'm swinging a hammer because I'm the sort of person out of whose hand it will probably fly on the backswing. I'm not a big fan of manual labor, and the most I ever really do is push my lawnmower and I then immediately have to retire to the couch and fan myself while eating a popsicle. But the great thing about this organization is that they trust you to get the job done. They don't baby you. They hand you the tools and show you how to do it and then you do. They have enough people around who are experts, whom you can call on for help if you need it, that they just trust you. To help build a house. They have it brilliantly structured so it's totally oriented for amateurs. If you show up wanting to work, they put you to work. I mean, a group of sorority girls showed up to be a part of the crew, and I immediately rolled my inner eyes and thought, "Great." But they worked really hard, and one of them showed me how to put up an F-channel and a J-channel. Then I felt ashamed for doubting them just because they were girls who had Greek letters on their shirts. So what I'm saying, if I may proselytize for a moment, is that if you have ever hesitated (like I always had) participating with this organization or one like it because you're not very strong or coordinated or smart about practical measurement and building types of things, I am here to tell you that if I can do it, you can. I swear. Believe me. There are people there to show you what to do, and you will look that homeowner hammering next to you in the eye and find out her name and she will tell you she picked out that color herself and that very thrill will stir something in you that makes you feel suddenly competent, suddenly capable. In a way that maybe you haven't felt in a long time. Maybe even ever at all. We were all both students and teachers. We drank Gatorade and ate jambalaya and asked the soldiers working on the house next door for their cookies. We were a crew of women sweating and coughing and measuring and cutting and stapling and installing and hauling and climbing and believing in ourselves and each other, and I was proud of us all. I loved feeling like I was actually smarter and stronger than I thought I was this morning, yesterday, the week before, the month before, the year before. I loved meeting the homeowners and being outside on such a perfectly gorgeous day and being just a small part of something being born and being built in a time when so much has died and been washed away. I pretty much loved everything about it. 
© Copyright 2005 elb |
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