 Sleep and Movie Stars |
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I could write about and post pictures of Maryland, but I feel like I would be sharing a secret that does not belong to me. So instead I will just say that Maryland was a beautiful place. I am currently headed toward night four of sleeping with no Ambien. I got on it about six months ago, and I swear to God I wish I never had. It worked great at first and knocked me out for most of the night, but it starts to lose effect, and it was getting to the point where it only lasted a few hours and I could not sleep under any circumstances without it. Due to a convoluted series of events stemming from the antics of Delta, the airline from hell, I found myself without my suitcase and therefore without the pills. So I started weaning myself just by circumstance. I have a few pills left in the bottle and finally got my suitcase today, but I am thinking of just flushing them. I don't want to take another one and then have to start all over again. I'm just writing about this here because I want to say that it's hard. My body and mind were used to being knocked out by the drug. I have not really slept much in the past three nights, but I am just hoping against hope that sooner or later something inside me will give and I will sleep again. I've been keeping up with Rent through the movie's site, and I just watched the recent performances from The Today Show. I started sweating when Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal started singing "What You Own." I thought I was going to barf, I was so nervous. It was crazy. It's a great song, but I think it loses much of its power when it's not played by a live band and the music is so overpowered by the voices. That said, Adam Pascal sounded pretty good for being Adam Pascal and did not veer too much into notes and pitches unknown on planet earth, and Anthony Rapp's voice, while not exactly pleasing to the ear, was really strong and sure. In a strange way, I am proud of them. I still can't really believe that the movie is coming out and that so many of the original cast members are starring in it. It seems unreal to me. God Bless Daphne Rubin-Vega. Lord knows she could not pass for Mimi now, but I wonder how it feels to be left out. And who even knows where Fredi Walker is today? Not me. I signed up for the class. I am still scared, but I vow to check it out the first week, and if it's heinous, I will get my money back. If I think I'll like it, then I will stick with it. I have no idea how it will go, but I'm glad to at least be trying something new. I got a positive performance review at work. It thanked me for my "remarkable contributions." I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up, but it was nice to hear. I love my boss. I do not know how I got so lucky as to work for someone like her. Truly. There will never again be such a boss no matter where I go in life. Tonight, despite barely being able to keep my eyes open or walk without running into walls, I am going to a restaurant with many children, Italians, and people Cajun dancing. I am really not sure how I'm going to pull it off in this zombified state, but I'm going to try somehow to be a good fucking sport and realize that these are people I never get to see and that I need to show up. I will not be doing any Cajun dancing, though, so help me God, and if anyone tries to make me, so help them. SO HELP THEM. Don't you want to go buy some swag from The Damn Millionaires?
About this time in ...
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