July 7, 2006

Advice

1.) Don't take a week off from the gym after doing your first 5K. During your first run back, you will feel like a complete spaz who never did a lick of training.

2.) Do not rent Failure to Launch under any circumstances. You will be unable to recall a time when you watched a movie that sucked more than this one.

3.) Do not eat a dozen golden Oreos in the course of an afternoon. You will experience the dreaded State Fair Feeling, the one you got as a kid when you ate nothing but cotton candy and hot dogs all day and then made the tragic mistake of riding the ferris wheel or worse yet the Gravitron. You don't necessarily upchuck, but you are awash in the feeling of needing to upchuck, and that is what makes State Fair Feeling one of the worst feelings in the world.

4.) Do not ever dye your hair the shade of swimming pool blonde that Uma Thurman sports in Prime.

5.) Don't delay: go to this site immediately. Seeing such enthusiastically creative people in action will make you want to be both more enthusiastic and more creative.

6.) Don't assume that bim bim bap from a restaurant in a Boston suburb will be remotely similar to bim bim bap in an authentic Korean restaurant in Paris damn France.

7.) Do buy yourself some rosemary mint shampoo from Aveda.

8.) Do find yourself a farmer's market where you can buy scones and homemade lemon ginger soap on a sunny Saturday morning.

9.) Do save your change and get a massage once in a while.

10.) Do go back and watch the opening number of the 2004 Tony Awards when Hugh Jackman dances with the Rockettes because doing so will never cease to delight you on a profound level particularly because he is completely out of breath but still manages a seamless key change and can hold his notes like a champion. LOVE.

11.) Do not attempt to restrain your rain- and mud-soaked dog while pointing a blowdryer at him (on the cool setting, of course) because he will go completely out of his gourd and shake so hard that muddy rainwater from his coat will hit the ceiling.

12.) Do set a season pass on your TiVo to record every show on which Kathy Griffin appears because she is very funny.

13.) Do listen to your friend when you're feeling weak, vulnerable, sad, and stupid, especially when her advice consists of her yelling at you over the phone that other people's ideas about how we should live our lives are not our but in fact their goddamn problem.

14.) Do paint your kitchen Dill Weed green.

About this time in ...

2005:

7/7:

Thankfully, Annie and Andrew, both in London today, are safe.

7/2:

In the two years before my sister came along, was I his favorite person? Was he mine?

2004:

7/7:

I want to remind myself that it's a big and beautiful world. I want to wonder as I wander and find all kinds of new and interesting things, not only in those foreign cities but inside myself.

7/2:

The blister formed while having to push the lawnmower with all of my brute strength because the grass has been so high because it's rained every day for the past month.

2003:

7/7:

"Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room."

7/6:

Eating Cuban food and weeping in round into the daiquiries, pina coladas, plantain chips, and giant bowls of black beans.


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