 Pet Peeve |
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My sister and I got into a huge fight on Saturday night before we went to a Mexican fiesta during which we cursed at each other and slammed doors in that special way that only two people separated by the great punctuality divide can do. My theory is that you're either in the "it's important to be on time because it's rude not to be" camp or the "time has no meaning because people can just wait around for me if I'm late" camp and that never the twain shall meet. I'm in the first camp, because I think that when I schedule my day accordingly and make it a priority to be where I say I'm going to when I say I'm going to be there and the other party does not, it smacks of blatant rudeness, because that person is sending the clear message that her time is more valuable than mine. And if it's a rare occurrence, it's not a big deal. But if it's a perpetual, habitual way of conducting yourself, it's just rude. And the problem with the two camps is that the people who are always late breezily assume that it's not a big deal and that no one cares -- but that's because they're never the people who sit around waiting and whose time is wasted by waiting on latecomers. Never in their lives have they experienced that intense feeling of aggravation and insult. It is. It is insulting. There are few things in this life that annoy me more than waiting around for people who can't be bothered to realize that expecting people to wait around for them is the height of discourtesy. And calling? To say that you'll be late? Does not give you some kind of clemency! Because if I stop my yard work and my errands to come inside and take a shower and I do so and then you call me and tell me you're not even in the city yet, what can I do? Go back into the yard and resume mulching in my towel? My day has stopped so I can get ready for the agreed upon time, and your day is still proceeding while you do the things you didn't schedule for properly. It's not even the details of the lateness that matter. Barring some kind of unforeseen tragic circumstance, people need to make more of an effort to be on time. Not because the set-upon time itself necessarily matters, but because the time spent waiting for you is time wasted by the on time people -- wasted by you -- so that you can follow your own clock-less schedule -- at their expense. If you overbook your life to the point where you are always running behind? That's no excuse. Maybe late people should just hang around with other late people and not socialize with those who can actually stick to an agreed upon time. Late people probably think that on time people need to pull the pocketwatches out of their asses, but on time people think that consistently late people are behaving in a way that is self-centered, selfish, and rude, and maybe there will never be any kind of true peace or mutual respect between them when it comes to this issue. And late people who say that on time people should just start being late more? That just cannot happen. On time people cannot become late people because it goes against everything we stand for and we know the rage incited by waiting around and we just don't think we're important enough to have other people inconvenience themselves for us. The only hope is for late people to become on time people, but I've got to tell you, I'm not seeing that happen. Sometimes I wish I could be a late person and do everything in life only at my own convenience and never be worried by the people waiting around for me because I'm oblivious to what they think of me because I've never been one of them. But most of the time I'm really glad that I'm not, even though I'll always be the more aggravated party. My sister and I made up, and she looked so cute in her Charlotte Yorkish dress that I wanted to pick her up and twirl her around, and we went to the party together, and we sang "Hard Times" in the car and joked that hopefully we wouldn't have any more hard times as sisters, and the next day we met for coffee and pored over travel books and everything was swell, and I love my sister passionately even though she is a late person. That's the thing with siblings, I guess. You love them ridiculously even though sometimes you are grievously annoyed by some of the things about them that make them who they are. Perhaps when we are in Europe together, I will just have to let go of my desire to be first in line when the museum opens and surrender the fantasy of making the train. Perhaps this trip will give her the chance to scream at me that I've got some nerve and that she finds me appalling like I did to her the other night. I am sure the things she hates about me will rear their ugly heads in such close quarters. Hopefully we can get it all out of our systems and still enjoy afternoons sitting in Paris cafés and driving through the English countryside and seeing Tintern Abbey, where we can remember words written about a dear, dear friend and a dear, dear sister and always look back and recall that on the banks of this delightful stream, we stood together.
About this time in ...
© Copyright 2004 elb |
William Shakespeare ::: Unfaithfulness in the keeping of an appointment is an act of clear dishonesty. You may as well borrow a person's money as his time. Horace Mann |
