 Days |
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So here's a recently renewed obsession of mine that I've never talked about here.  The other night I had dinner with my brother and sister, and we reminisced about Days of Our Lives in the days of yore when we would tape it every day and watch it together after school (through our elementary, middle, and high school years). My brother would color the tape label with a blue crayon and draw an hourglass in the center and write the show's title in yellow. Or, he would just write "Days in Salem." We still have some of them. Mom justified her permission of our daily viewing by often repeating, "At least the Bradys are Catholic!" We thought about Stephen Earl "Patch" Johnson and Kayla and when she went deaf and Patch signed the lyrics to "The Rose" to her then how after Patch died she ended up with Shane (gross) and how before she hooked up with Patch, his estranged brother Jack Devereaux raped her, and how his dad was Senator Devereaux the Salem Slasher but not really, it was Patch and Adrienne's dad, and Adrienne was married to Justin who had an affair with Anjelika Devereaux, and Justin was the nephew of Victor Kiriakis who was really Bo's father only revealed by Caroline (or Carolyn depending on who's talking) when Bo was about to shoot him point blank and how Bo and Patch were in Stolkholm and fought over a woman named Britta and how Dr. Mike Horton was going to convert to Judaism for Dr. Debra but she got shot over some computer disc and he was so scared he went to pray in the hospital chapel and she saw him praying to the cross so she broke up with him but then I think they got together and moved to Israel, that is before he became the Pretender and Mike came back as a different Mike altogether in looks and personality (formerly comical and shaggy and cute, then lackluster and bland and dull) and hooked up with the likes of freaking Carrie Brady, daughter of Anna DiMera and Roman Brady, who they tried to make us think was really John Black but changed their minds. And how Bo and Hope got married and recited the "silver link, silver tie" poem and how she was suspended over that vat of acid by Ernesto Toscano (father of Isabella) and died but not really because I guess that is when all of the Princess Gina bullshit supposedly happened and that is when Bo got together with Carly and then Billie and remember how that whole thing with THE DISEASE happened and how Bo accidentally got it and it was so tragic but he lived! He lived!  And very unrealistically, Carly ended up running off with the wretched, evil Lawrence Alamain even though he killed Patch my hero my heart AND raped Jennifer, supposedly Carly's best friend from boarding school when she was supposed to be Katerina von Loychner or however the hell you spell it. Oh, and was Frankie's long lost sister. And speaking of Frankie? Did he end up hooking up with Eve, daughter of Shane, the hooker who is now a cop on NYPD Blue? How did that happen?? And remember when Jennifer was going to marry that mulleted fiendish horror who was Emilio? And Jack kidnapped her on a fire truck? And remember the Cruise of Deception? Also, since when did Mrs. Horton become "gran?" for god's holy sake. They have called her "grandma" FOREVER and now she is "gran" and it drives me mad. Mad, I tell you. And how oh how is Chris Kositchek formerly of Shenanigans (a.k.a. Dylan McKay's combusted but not really dad and the guy on The Hogan Family) now supposedly Roman Brady? There is so, so much more. The fact that I stopped watching it basically when Marlena got possessed and only started up again recently is no matter. It is in my blood now and forever and ever amen. Belle is growing on me, and I hate Chloe and her giant, strange head and her whole storyline with Philip Kiriakis with the fire and intensity of sands through the hourglass soaking in one hundred million scorching beams of Equator sunlight, and somehow I really like Brady and his clenched jaw and flaring nostrils even though he is just younger, blonder version of John Black and wears muscle t-shirts, and if Shawn would rip that gold chain off his neck he would improve about a thousand fold. Clearly they are trying to dress him like Bo at that age but he can simply not pull it off. Jan? Sucks. That whole storyline sucks ASS. The baby switching storyline fully had me weeping at lunch the other day. When all the Hortons and Bradys gathered 'round to tell little JT goodbye. I guess we are going to find out that Bo is really Isaac's father since there's really no one else Hope as Princess Gina slept with, right? Lexie? Is a flat out maniac now! I love it when Abe gets really mad at her and spits, "I thought you were a Carver, but you're just a DiMera! You're just your father's daughter!" It really amuses me.  Now that the actress who plays Hope is pregnant in real life and no longer looks painfully anorexic and is beautiful again, I love her again and I am so sad about her having to lose her baby. They also seem to be talking to themselves aloud less these days, but maybe I'm wrong. Belle sure seems to wring her hands through her two-toned hair and say, "How could Shawn say he loved me and then sleep with Jan?" over and over whether anyone is listening or not. Also, I once stood in line at Cortana Mall and met the actors who played Mike and April and got an autographed picture. It is in my Days of Our Lives scrapbook that I made as a child by cutting out pictures from soap opera magazines. I also have an 8x10 paparazzi shot that I ordered from an ad in the back of one of those magazines before the internet existed of the actor who played Patch. It is hanging in my utility room. I am not even ashamed. 
© Copyright 2002 elb |
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