 Reluctant or Loving |
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So far this week I've watched Rosie O'Donnell be interviewed by Craig Ferguson, Jay Leno, and Diane Sawyer (twice). Have I mentioned that I used to love her show? I did. I know there are many who don't care for her, but I loved her show. I loved how excited she got to meet the stars she loved, how she brought on interesting kids with weird talents, and how she regularly had Broadway casts perform that most of America would never otherwise have been able to see. It occurred to me in a flash just now that my sister might have a new name by this time next year. I have no idea if she's changing her name or not, but the realization shot through me like a jolt. Marriage is weird. (But great, in this case! Love ya, sissy & your fiance!) I mean, Chad Michael Murray's now marrying a pregnant teenager? Matt LeBlanc left his wife for his co-star? Tom and Katie? Britney & Kevin? Are these our role models? I think I need to stop visiting the celebrity message boards. M. and I agreed recently that they might be rotting our brains. I watched The Squid and the Whale last night. I liked it. It was one of those movies that has scenes that are painfully real to the point where I become uncomfortable watching. The parents are both sort of assholes, especially Jeff Daniels, but they're both very human, too, and the kids are fantastic. I'd recommend it, but don't expect a charming comedy. It's funny, but it's more of a realistic life sucks sort of bummer than something that makes you feel happy and sunny when it's all over. And I hate to say it, because I loved The Piano and always will, but Anna Paquin has not ceased to annoy me since. Besides her, everyone in the movie gives a damn strong performance. I've started She Got Up Off the Couch, and it's great, right from the very first page. I loved A Girl Named Zippy, so I figured this one would be swell, too. I usually read to fall asleep at night, but this is so funny that I keep jolting myself by laughing. So it's not a good bedtime read for me, but it's a great read any other time of the day. The concept of the memoir was so garbaged-up by the whole James Frey mess. It's nice to read one that's just mighty sweet, funny, and fine. I'm looking forward to volunteering again soon on a Habitat house. My boyfriend will be helping to gut a co-worker's house that was fucked by Katrina, and I decided I should spend that time doing something worthwhile, too. I've been wondering lately if it makes a difference if you do things to help people with (a) a reluctant heart or (b) a loving heart. I definitely helped my co-worker reluctantly and pretty much hated every second of it. When I go help with Habitat, my heart will be filled with love and joy and I know I will enjoy it. I want to do good things and help people, but I don't want to do good things while feeling hateful and angry inside about it because then I feel guilty for being a selfish beyotch who's doing something nice -- but not nicely. But it doesn't make sense to only help and serve when it makes ME happy, does it? I don't know. I am not a very good servant of humanity. I want to be better. I am much better at hermitting myself in my house with fudge pops and TiVo and using my cats as footwarmers. Maybe painting some walls or nailing in some baseboards will help make it all a little clearer. Speaking of cats, last night I could think of nothing to take pictures of but my dinner until I decided to explore the concept of the digital zoom, much to Khaki's nonamusement.
I've been trying to cook healthy meals that have a decent balance of carbs and protein. Last night: some whole wheat pasta spirals, veggies, and diced up veggie sausage links. I sauteed it all in a little bit of sesame seed oil. It was surprisingly not altogether disgusting.
I bought some gerber daisies almost two weeks ago in the effort to help my house look a little brighter in anticipation of my boyfriend's mother's visit. I've changed the water in the bud vases every day, and they're just starting to wilt. I have no idea how this picture came out so bright and pink and cool, but I like it.
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About this time in ...
© Copyright 2006 elb |
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