 TB and Me |
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If you're like me, you hate missing things you wish you had caught on TV, so I'm going to do you the public service of letting you U.S.A. people know that the cast of Sex & the City is going to be on Oprah today, and there's a documentary about Eve Ensler (who wrote The Vagina Monologues) on Lifetime tonight. A high school friend of mine who lives in Chicago was at the taping of the Sex show and got cosmos and the season five box set. I really must make it up to Chicago and fulfill my lifelong dream of attending an Oprah taping, especially on a day when she features celebrity guests. Perhaps Amy Lester, who tends to become very very very best friends with celebrities, can make it happen. One day. One day! Of course, many of you might be at work right now, hence rendering you incapable of setting your TiVo or VCR via telekinesis (did y'all ever read The Girl with the Silver Eyes?), so I probably should have made this important announcement yesterday; nevertheless, I hope some of you will be able to reap the benefits of this vital information. I would also like to say that my favorite weatherman promised me it would not be raining until Friday, and I was hoodwinked by yesterday's sunshine and dryness, and as I listened to a weather report en route to work this morning as raindrops splattered on my windshield and the announcer said, "Scattered showers today," I screamed inconsolably, "SCATTERED SHOWERS, MY ASS!" and burst into tears. For breakfast, I consumed such a multitude of miniature Valentine's hearts that I fear my teeth will imminently rot right out of my head. Also, the new Indigo Girls CD comes out today. Also, I have now made sweet potato crack two nights in a row. It's just as good as everyone says it is. I have garlic seeping out of my very pores. Also, I ordered myself a sticker that says Bush Is a Punk-Ass Chump. Finally, if my raging headache and the psychotic episode at 3 a.m. during which I woke up convinced I was drowning in my own snot and resorted to coughing and blowing it out onto my own sweatshirt are any indication, I think I am coming down with tuberculosis.
© Copyright 2004 elb |
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