 Looking Back on 30 |
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Last February, shortly before turning thirty, I made a list of thirty things I wanted to do while thirty. I decided to revisit this list and see what I did and did not do since I'm about to hit thirty-one.
Take a night class in the fall.
Done. I took a course for graduate credit called "Strong Women in Literature." The shorthand name of this class was "tough cookies." I really liked my professor and the other young women in the class (keyword: young), and I liked a lot of the books we read, especially this one. I didn't think I would like this book after getting a look at its cover, but it was really good. It's short stories about women police officers, written by a former cop-turned-writer. It was excellent. I also really liked this one, much of which hit very close to home. And I enjoyed working on and doing my presentation on this tough cookie. Set foot in the gym on a regular basis.
Clearly not done. I've been trying to go lately, though, I truly have. Eat less candy.
Absolutely not done. See a show on Broadway and more local theater.
Done (and not done). I did see The Producers on Broadway, but I didn't see any local theater. Give away clothes I never wear anymore.
Done, but I definitely still need to do more of this. I get into these phases of trying to simplify my life and give things away but then I get so exhausted by the process that I give up and everything piles up again. Take a trip to a place I've never been.
Done several times: Las Vegas, Maryland, and Costa Rica (twice). Learn how to make Indian food.
Afraid not. Go to the doctor to find out why it feels like I am stepping on a phantom, balled-up sock but only sometimes, as this strange foot thing can no longer be used as an excuse to not exercise.
Done. I was diagnosed as having Morton's Neuroma in both feet, just like my mom. Sometimes it still really hurts like a bitch. I would wear flats every day of my life, but all of my pants are so long that if I don't wear some kind of pretty high heel (like boots or whatever, I'm not talking about stilettos), I step all over them. I suppose a trip to the tailor for a mass hemming of my wardrobe would solve this problem. Talk to older brother more often.
I'd say this was done if not overly so. We had a nice talk last week while I drove to New Orleans during which he opened up to me possibly more than he ever has, so that was nice. Keep weeds under control and plants alive.
Hm. I have to say that I paid less attention to my yard than usual this past year. A lot of the backyard took a lickin' when the giant tallow tree fell and squashed a bunch of stuff, most sadly my crape myrtle. But it doesn't look that bad. The front actually looks pretty nice. Here's a picture I took of part of the front bed last week:  Part of the front bed
The exploding pink blossoms on some shrub I don't know the name of
Flower box begonias Ah, the South in January! The flowers are one of the best parts. Prevent somehow the initial onslaught of white flies so fighting them is not an endless battle.
They weren't that bad this year; I didn't have to spray for them for once. Perhaps Katrina blew them all away. Continue the quest for quality sleep; consider sister's advice to spend lots of money on high-quality bedding to improve sleep habits.
Tried, failed, did not buy new bedding. Although I did buy these flannel sheets in Rose, and I love them. Wear sunscreen while working in the yard, remembering that tans are pretty but wrinkles and melanoma are not.
I didn't do that much yard work, but I was very faithful about sunscreen while in Costa Rica this summer. Read some new books in addition to rereading old ones all the time, for God's sake.
I did read some new books last year but was not faithful about writing them down so they're kind of a blur. I've already started my book list for 2006, and guess how many books are on it so far? Three. That's right. Three. Clearly I need to pick up the pace. Especially when I've already seen nine new movies. Hang out with parents and ask them how they're doing once in a while and what I can do for them.
I didn't do tons of parental time, but we did have dinner last week, which was nice. They continue to really kind of astonish me with their generosity and their willingness to petsit all the damn time. I appreciate them very much. Spend time with faux nieces and nephews and new godson when he comes to town this summer.
I did spend time with my godson, but not enough. And I haven't really seen my friend's other children all that much unless you count Maryelizabeth's child, with whom I have shared several Vietnamese meals and other good times. She is ridiculously cute and nice and smart. Become more Zen about pet hair and realize it's not going to completely disappear until the pets do.
Yep, I've finally kind of become all Let Go, Let God about this one. The Dyson has helped a lot with that, but I don't agonize about its presence like I used to. Life's too short. Keep watching favorites like Everwood, Veronica Mars, and Joan of Arcadia, but don't let other TV become a meaningless time suck.
Mostly done. Of course, Joan's gone now. I am still devoted to the other two even though it looks like Everwood is a goner. The only other show I'm pretty addicted to now is Grey's Anatomy. I tried to fight it and didn't watch it at all in its first season, but I have been fully sucked in. And I really loved Deadwood, what little I saw of it, and am looking forward to the next season starting this summer. Work on controlling fierce frothy hatred of GWB.
It's hard to explain. I think I've just bottomed out as far as how deep my loathing can go. It's taken so much out of me that I can't even muster up the energy to be enraged anymore. I think more than anger and hatred I mostly just feel utter disappointment in him and his administration as both leaders and human beings. I don't know. It's too upsetting for me to dwell on right now. Investigate volunteering opportunities to channel political rage in positive way.
I didn't do as much of this as I would have liked, but I did really enjoy volunteering that day with Habitat for Humanity and the day my boyfriend and I spent helping to clean up City Park after the hurricane. Go to more of younger brother's gigs even when late at night and remind self that showing up is pretty much the most important thing a person can do.
I think I only went to one or two of his gigs this year, and none for a while, but we have kept in very regular contact and talk to each other several times a week. We talk about movies and he confides in me about his obsession with waiting for the new Superman, Smallville, and all things Jack Bauer. I feel like we're pretty close these days, and that makes me happy. Continue to write daily in paper journal.
I've started and stopped with this one. Lately I've been getting back into the groove. I'm about to finish the journal, actually, so I'll have to go on the hunt for a new one, which is always kind of an adventure. Put down the antibacterial lotion once and for all.
Hm. I still carry it with me everywhere I go and use some before eating in a restaurant (after I've given the menu back to the server, because I do have menu issues), but I did ride on lots of subways last month without losing my mind, and I've stopped being so insane about being convinced that I am picking up life-threatening germs on the butt of my jeans while sitting in the movie theater. Be better about recycling. Totally done; definitely could still do better. Buy a new digital camera and a laptop. I bought myself a camera, and my boyfriend bought me a laptop. So. Done and done!
Stop talking about opening an IRA and actually do it. I am totally in the process of doing this right now. I've asked the accountant who does my taxes and who is being very damn nice about helping me with all of this a million different dumb questions, and readers weighed in after I sent a request to the notify list to talk to me about IRAs. This is not my advice, this is theirs, so don't yell at me if it's wrong. I share it because many readers asked me to share what others said because they're as terrified and confused by all of this as I am. The consensus was that IRAs are good things to have. Most people seemed to think that the Roth is a good option (if you fit the qualifications, which I do) because it just feels safer and more satisfying to pay the taxes on the contributions now while you're young and able to pretty easily rather than being taxed on the withdrawal later when nobody knows the situation you'll be in financially. The consensus was also that while it's best to make the maxiumum yearly contribution (right now that's $4,000), it's better to put something in than nothing, so don't freak out if you can't max it out. Also, it's never good to dump all of your extra money in the IRA at the expense of an everyday rainy day/emergencies savings account, which people suggest having as a CD because the rate is much better than in a regular savings account. (Or, a couple of good savings account rates can be found at ING Direct or Emigrant Bank, according to one eagle-eyed rate watcher.) It's strongly advised to have this money automatically drafted every month so you don't even realize you have it before it's plopped into the savings account and you learn to live without it for now. Several readers also recommended reading about IRAs at Motley Fool. A few also really like Fidelity. So! That's mostly what I learned from my readers, who also suggested several books on the subject of money, including Money: A Memoir, Smart Women Finish Rich, The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke, and 365 Ways to Build Wealth. I can honestly say that I don't really see myself trying to become a millionaire or becoming really, really into this whole process because it's just not my thing, but I just want to know that I am building a little nest egg for later in life. That's really all I want. I'm not going to be able to put in the maximum amount right now every month and also maintain and build up that rainy day savings account (for things like falling trees and other household dramas as well as fun things like vacations and gifts for myself and others), so I'm just going to give what I can and feel good that I'm giving anything at all and work towards inching toward the maximum allowable contribution. A huge thanks to readers who weighed in on this, and for those who feel as lost as I do, I hope some of this helps you as well.
Do not freak out when realizing I am now entering the age bracket of Michael, Hope, Elliot, Nancy, Melissa, Ellyn, and Gary while still keeping fingers crossed that this show will one day be released on DVD. I've given up hope that this show will one day be released on DVD, which honestly makes me very morose.
Continue to keep my New Year's resolution to let myself be happy, especially in my relationships, especially in one that feels like all the birthday gifts I could want all rolled up in the form of one amazing person. I've tried to let myself be happy, and in many ways, I have been. Sometimes I do feel like Meredith Grey at the beginning of the post-Super Bowl episode when she said, "I just need something to happen, I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope! And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I'm going to die today." Doesn't everyone? But I try to buck the fuck up and realize I'm lucky to be alive. It was sometimes hard to be happy, especially when missing the aforementioned amazing person, worrying about the state as a whole after Katrina, fretting about the president's administration and the war and every horrible fate that could possibly befall any one of us at any given time, and sometimes just feeling like life is all too hopeless to even contemplate facing.
Get piano tuned. Nope.
Take more pictures. Yep! I want to start carrying my camera on me more, though, because if I don't have it while driving home from work down a lovely historic boulevard and passing by a young man naked and Saran Wrapped around a majestic oak tree on the median with a poster reading I Love the Steelers around his nether region who guffawed mightily as I slowed down, said, "Oh my God," and clapped my hands to my mouth, then I don't really see the point of having a camera at all. Looking back at this list, I can see that I actually did do much of what I set out to do while thirty. Not that my goals were so extraordinary, but it's nice to be able to see that I at least set and achieved some, however small they might have been. I have had my "I need to stay in bed and feel like I'm going to die today" days, for sure. But I've also have days like recently when I was listening to a song called "Watershed" that I've heard about fifty million times in my life, but it sounded different to me this time. Standing at the fork in the road. You can stand there and agonize 'Til your agony's your heaviest load. You'll never fly as the crow flies, Get used to a country mile. When you're learning to face The path at your pace Every choice is worth your while. And it filled me with hope. Maybe all we can do is learn to face our own paths at our own paces no matter how old or young we are and realize that every choice is worthwhile for one mysterious reason or another. I'm definitely one who tends to agonize over things large and small, usually in silence, but I don't want my agony to be my heaviest load, especially when so much of it is just in my mind. I'd ponder all of this some more, but I still haven't finished last night's Grey's Anatomy, and I've got soup to eat and an e-mail to send to my boyfriend and some warm socks to find. Maybe I'll make a 31 while 31 list soon.
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