More house plans

As mentioned previously, design smartypants and pretty lady AB Chao very kindly visited my home recently en route from the big city to her house and told me some things. Some were suggestions; some were orders. Somehow she knew this combination is just what I needed.

Finally, after the holidays ate my brain, I'm sitting down to write down as much as I can remember from what she said. I want to get this party started. The top priorities of phase one are paint, lighting, and window treatments.

PAINT

Painting is important. All baseboards, trim, cabinets, drawers, and doors need to be brightened up with a color like Benjamin Moore's Super White, Decorator's White, or Linen White. This should be done in semi-gloss. Seeing how I kept being drawn to shades of gray, AB suggested painting every single room a gray color I really like, with the exception of the kitchen, which I should pick a fun, bright color for, like one of my crazy aqua blues, or straight up Tiffany blue. The bright white against the light gray throughout the whole house will make it look nice, and I can throw color in with furniture and art and bedding and accents, which can be switched around when I like new colors. Though I never envisioned a strategy like this, it is growing on me. Walls should be done in eggshell, "one up from flat." (That's what I wrote down as I followed her around the house, but I'm still not entirely sure what it means.) Ceilings should also be repainted, possibly one shade darker or the same color as the trim, or 20% lighter than the wall color.

I think that starting with paint makes me a bit paralyzed, because thinking about how every single thing in my house needs to be painted is kind of daunting, what with the household disruption, mess, and expense. But I figure, how long can it possibly take? I mean, I have no idea? Not going to think about it today, but must think about it soon.

LIGHTING

Every ceiling has an ugly dome light that looks like a b00b. I really want to invest in some cute pendants. I'll need an electrician, probably, but that's okay. AB likes this one, for example.

WINDOW TREATMENTS

Some kind of bamboo shades or roman shades. Longer curtains that are hung higher. I worry about tumbleweeds of pet hair nesting in floor-length curtains. I'm not really thinking this far down the line yet, though, if truth be told.

DOORKNOBS

Lose the shiny, cheap brass ones and get some mismatched old antique-y ones.

KITCHEN

Look into a counter-depth refrigerator instead of one that juts out farther than the stove and counters with which it shares a wall. I had never even heard of such a thing! But I am glad to know it exists. Possibly lose a set of cabinets hanging on that wall and put up some long shelves instead.

ENTRANCE HALL

Possibly some cute wallpaper.

DINING ROOM

Probably the piano should be sold. It's huge and hulking and sounds bad. French doors should once and for effing all replace the sliding glass door of pain.

LIVING ROOM

New couch needed, obviously. New media cabinet of some kind, maybe something low and wide. Vince Chao thinks the TV should be hung on the wall as befits a person of the 21st century.

BOOKS

Books should be culled, removed from their various bookcases all over the house, and possibly all stored in one room, such as what is right now the "study." Maybe on something like this or some sort of Billy bookcase configuration? With no Ikea in this state, that could be tricky. This is a concept I am having trouble wrapping my mind around, but I am trying to be open to it. My other decorating consultant, my friend S., loves this idea.

SMALL THINGS

Stop buying small things. Small rugs, small little things on the walls hung in isolation from each other instead of in groups, small shelving units, etc. Think bigger, and think grouped.

Phew! I think that's about it. This is just the tip of the iceberg, though. Once there are basic framework things in place, there's the matter of filling the framework with cute things. But the time will come for that. I am glad to have this written down and look forward to actually getting started once I work up the nerve.

Here's to being nervy in 2010!

House ideas

Continuing ...

I was at the bookstore yesterday and spotted some cards by Xenia Taler and fell instantly in love. It's like my heart leapt out and said, "Yes!" (They look like this and this.) While searching around online for more of her stuff, I came upon a store, and I looked for lighting, like I always do, and I saw this pendant, and I liked it. I checked with my expert design consultant, and she approved! So I bought it. It was my first AB-sanctioned house purchase, and I am very excited about it. I will rid my home of the b00b lights one by one, so help me God!

Meanwhile, I kind of like this shower curtain. And I like the idea of having something in my office where I can display unframed cards and photos in a makeshift and spontaneous manner, and if not an inspiration line, maybe something insane like this birdcage. I love bird stuff, but I don't want to go too all out with it and be a Crazy Bird Lady. (My bird prints remain my favorite bird-related item at present, and I really want to frame and hang them nicely somehow.)

Continuing ...

According to my expert design consultant, Eames Hang-It-All is cute alternative to current ugly mirror hook contraption in foyer.

I love this calendar.

I like everything she sells and her house very much.

I like the blue wall color in this post.

Newly formed crush on Thomas Paul, particularly the fabrics.

Continuing ...

Note to self: Stop shunning rugs! Rugs can be pretty. AB says these are good.

If I ever live in a home with no pets, or only with pets who are bald or don't shed, or only with pets who never throw up (sorry), I will fill it with beautiful rugs like these from Angela Adams.

I like the colors in this room.

As I mentioned previously (below), I am in the market for some new light fixtures throughout my house. I saw this one looking cute in that bedroom and was surprised to learn that it came from Target. I've had a few epiphanies about lamps and lighting. First, even though I am pro-color, generally, I find that I like lamps made of metal with skinny necks that you can adjust. (That do not cost hundreds of dollars like those, preferably.) I think they are cute. Also, I do not want any ceiling light fixtures to have little shades on them. As I start thinking seriously about all this stuff for the first time ever, it's comforting to discover Things I Know For Sure. No lamp shades on chandeliers for me!

Meanwhile, who knew Target had cute house stuff? Not me! I like this chair and the colors it comes in:

My problem with cute upholstered furniture is the fur. My cats just get everything so m-effing furry. Maybe I could somehow train them to keep them off the furniture. But I doubt it.

In another direction, I'm starting to have really radical thoughts about things I could replace in my house. Big electrical things and other big endeavors. I obviously want a new living room ceiling fan, as mentioned below (preferably with a light fixture), but now I'm having thoughts of refrigerators and stoves and kitchen cabinetry. And one day, a new bathtub. Madness! My next-door neighbor has a beautiful clawfoot tub that makes me want to pass out, it's so beautiful. One day, maybe, one day.

As for fans, I wouldn't mind one in my bedroom while I'm at it. I come from pro-fan people. I'm liking the idea of something like this or one of these, but am not sure if something that modern would look psychotically dumb in my house.

:::

Continuing ...

Seeing these beautiful walls makes me re-thinking my recent post about being more neutral on walls. I am indecisive and conflicted, as usual.

Can someone please talk to me about Urban Outfitters? Every time I've walked into that store, I've fled almost immediately because I find it overwhelming and everything to be kind of ugly. The overall vibe is kind of nauseating. Maybe it's because of the music they play and the fact that it's three stories tall. I started digging around the website, though, and I like a lot of what I see. At least I think I do. It's all relatively affordable, which makes me wonder if it's all kind of cheap at heart. Here are some things I spotted that struck my fancy. I particularly like that set of yellow cannisters, that storage bench contraption, and that ridiculous yet adorable (to me) blue alarm clock.

But then I ask myself: is that blue alarm clock something a grown woman should own? When do you cross the line from something that looks cute to something that looks stupid? I have no idea.

And God help me, do I want that pistachio couch? I don't know if I believe in couches without sides. How are you supposed to lie down on that to lounge while watching So You Think You Can Dance without falling off? Still, I like the look of it. I just wonder if it's super shoddily made.

Maybe something like this from Macy's would be better ... I am a fan of arms:

Or this Crate and Barrell couch ... which I like in both green and blue:

How much is a sofa supposed to cost? Who the eff knows? I am also a fan of fur-friendly furniture. That makes me want something leather. This is such a dilemma. I kind of love this monstrous camel-colored couch because it's the same color as one we had made of naugahyde growing up, but it costs $1m:

(Note: I am not saying I actually plan to spend tons of money on a sofa. This is mostly just for ideas.)

Also, I love having a ceiling fan in my living room, but it is very, very fug. Suggestions for cute ceiling fans are welcome. (I'm going through these suggestions at the moment.)

Is this cute for over a dining room table? I have no idea!

:::

Continuing ...

Lately I've been reconsidering splashing ferociously bright colors on my actual walls. With the colors I've been eyeballing, it's a fine line between bright and beautiful and the set of Miami Vice. Maybe it would be best to highlight those colors that I've been feeling lately (see the post below) with furniture, lamps, pillows, and other accents and be a little more calm on the walls. For example, I really like the blue on these walls and this light-ish gray. Jessamyn, who supports this concept, recommends Silver Sage and Flower Wood, for those keeping track! More soon ...

:::

I'm in the very preliminary stages of starting to map out ideas for changes I want to make in my house. By "preliminary," I mean I've done nothing. But I want to. So I'm going to use this post as a way to collect some of my ideas. I've been working on this for a while and decided to just go ahead and post it. I'll add to it over time. It's totally stream of consciousness because that's where I am right now.

Architecturally, my house inherently lacks any semblance of style or charm. If it's going to have either of those things, I'm going to have to create it with my bare hands. Deciding to buy a house was a smart move, but it was one I made at the very dumb age of 26, when I didn't really think through what I would really love my house to have: A front porch. Nice windows. A fireplace. Interesting angles and nooks and quirks built into the house when it was built. Basically, my house is a very boxy box. It has its good points, like a carport and a large backyard, but ... that's it. In a neighborhood filled with a variety of extremely adorable architectural styles, including a bevy of craftsman bungalows, it's sort of a dud. I know this, and I accept this, but I am now ready to embrace the power I have to make it better, to help it to do a better job of reflecting who I actually am. I am ready to give my house a soul.

I love the above photo. I took it in Campeche, Mexico, about three years ago. I love the colors, I love the walls and the wood and the way it all fits together. I want to print this, not poster-size or anything crazy, but larger than the current 4x6 print I have in an album and use it somehow in my house. Not only as inspiration for the colors and aesthetic I like, but in a place that will mean something. Really, I just want to put things out in my house that mean something to me and also look cute. This photo is one way to start me thinking in that direction, I hope.

I also really like the colors in this stained glass window project my sister made when we were kids.

In my recent foray into design blogs, I came across a quote that really spoke to me. I've been persuaded by a friend that painting my walls is priority number one. I knew she was right, but I REALLY knew it when I read this:

"The quickest way to change your life is a coat of paint.
We all go through transitions and color helps us get there faster."

Yes, yes, yes! This conviction has newly seized my heart. I can't wait to get started on the painting project. My friend and I picked out some swatches in Hawaii recently (I'll post a picture of them once I actually take it), but I still have a long way to go in this area. I've been reading up on different kinds of paint sheens and trying to get a clue because I have none.

I have some pieces that I think I'd like to keep but re-fashion in some manner. Pretty much every piece of furniture I own is brown. I am a big fan lately of the concept of repainting brown furniture. The Before and After section of Design*Sponge is a great source of ideas for this. It's where I first spotted this yellow dresser re-do that's so dazzling to me that I'm ready to copy it immediately (not that I actually know how). Yellow is another color that I am loving the idea of lately, but my problem is which yellow? How yellow? Where yellow? Etc. I keep reading about yellow to try to get with the yellow program. I like the way this yellow looks. Mainly I don't want my yellows to be (a) blinding or (b) the color of mustard. The last time I tried to paint a room yellow, this happened. Tragic on every level.

I am also mildly obsessed with the color aqua, but am not sure how to manifest this obsession in a way that is (a) healthy and (b) cute. I really like the color in a rug I already have. Aqua placemats? Aqua chandelier? Heck, aqua piano? Yes, please!

I want to purchase a photo by my friend Jessamyn. She is so very talented and just getting started in her business, and I want to not only support her in this awesome creative endeavor but have a little piece of beauty launched from her eyes and hands in my home. (Right now, I'm leaning toward this one, but I also really love this one. Among many, many others!)

Recently, I have purchased the following things:

This photo of vintage bottles from Boho Photography ... I framed it and hung it in my bathroom. I find it lovely and soothing.

This Manhattan print from Three Potato Four, a shop I love beyond reason. It is waiting to have a room built around it, at least in my mind. I love the color blue in the print, and I love the memories it calls forth about all of my great trips to New York.

These four bird prints by Geninne Zlatlkis. I love and adore them, but they're kind of an odd size for framing and I've yet to do anything with them. The colors really inspire me, though, and I like the idea of making them key in a room in some way. (The thing is that I have no idea how.)

This print ... before I learned when starting to read design blogs for the first time that this has become a giant cliche. Oh well! I still like it. Right now it's in a white frame propped against my kitchen wall atop my refrigerator. I dare say it's kind of helping me keep calm and carry on.

On that note, I really want to make an effort to incorporate actual photographs and paintings and other art by actual artists, things made by actual people and signed by them with an actual pen or pencil and not mass marketed. (I know I won't always stick to this concept, hello, KC & CO poster), but I really want to embrace the concept when I can.)

I also really like photographs of paths and bridges. They have always spoken to me. Not because they are so original or artistic but because of what they signify -- to me, they represent a journey, something beyond the horizon, something on the other side. And because they're outside in places that are pretty, and as stupid as it sound, nature is inspiring. Obviously. And the blues and greens of sky and trees and leaves and grass -- I dig those colors the most, basically. Here are a few I've taken that I like, in Colorado, England's Lake District, Costa Rica, Mexico ... maybe I could do something theme-y with these? Is that stupid?

I am very inspired by other people's houses. Obviously, my homestate girlfriend AB Chao's house is a work of art, and I, like many of you, I'm sure, have been in awe of her skills for years. (Details on latest awesome feat is here.) More recently, the home of Kelly Rae Roberts (I don't know her) has inspired me in a major, major way. I love her big, bright colors and all of her beautiful touches. The color of that green couch has really been zinging with me lately. I want to incorporate it in my new home look, but I'm not sure how. Furniture? Walls? Doors? Accents? Office chairs? Lamps? Who the hell knows? And how to pick the right shade of paint -- it seems with a color like this, it would be easy to get it very, very wrong.

I like this picture. Even though it was taken with an iPhone. I'm not sure when displaying your own photos becomes crazy and overkill-ish, though. Mostly I just like pretty colors and happy memories.

I like this pink heart house in New Orleans.

And this 8x10 photo from the '60s is very special to me. It's a night blooming cereus photo that belonged to my grandmother. It means a lot to me because of her. And also because of The Bean Trees. I need to showcase it! In a way that looks good!

My house also needs structural things done. Like a new A/C and heater and better windows and an outdoor laundry room renovation. But those things can wait for now, I think.

Here are some things I want to work on and change, in addition to what I've already rambled about above:

(1) I'd like some ceiling light fixtures that do not look like b00bs. You know the ones I mean. I like cute pendants [ALERT: I love pretty much everything sold in this store, apparently, even though some of it is $1 million] and chandeliers and whatnot, but I'm not sure where to get them and certainly have no clue how to hook them up.

(2) Window treatments. I have wide, short windows in most rooms that normal curtains don't work on very well. My curtains and curtain rods, such as they are, are a sad state of affairs.

(3) New doors in the back. This is the main "structural" thing I'd like to do sooner rather than later. My sliding glass door is on its last legs and is totally energy inefficient when being blasted by full western afternoon sun and causing my house to fry like bacon. Also, it looks heinous.

(4) Some things need to be discarded, such as ugly lamps and other ugly things, which are myriad.

(5) Reupholstering easy things I can do myself. Not sure about major reupholstering at this point.

(6) A new couch that does not come from a garage sale. My cats spend a lot of time on my couch, so this might need to be taken into consideration, sadly. I'd like a couch off of which cat hair can be easily swept rather than vacuumed, as this is my most hated household chore and one of my excuses to never have people over.

(6) If I'm keeping the twin beds when I rebuild the rooms they are in, I will need to decide on some new bedding and whether the headboards should be repainted and what color. Lately I am drawn to really bright, floral bedding. I am not sure why. I might change my mind about this. (I'm currently happy with my all white bedding in my own room.)

(7) Some cute new stuff that can be bought to spruce thangs up.

(8) A new headboard of some kind for my new bed. I don't want anything made of fabric because fabric in my house is a magnet for dust and pet hair. Sad but true! And I don't want anything too bulky. I like iron beds lately. I love and adore this Ikea bed painted yellow. Or something like this or this? Or this or this, but painted? This is, however, not a major priority at this point.

(9) I hate my shiny gold doorknobs.

(10) I like the colors in this room.

(11) I like this random tea towel. Really, I like lots of tea towels.

(12) These are cute throw pillows. So is this one.

(13) I love this Mississippi Sea print. I think I might have a print problem.

(14) I love Orla Kiely but suspect I might be very late to this party.

(15) I love this quote about design.

(16) I think maybe I should have some ledges. I like the look of a good ledge with some cute, meaningful stuff on it. Not sure where they should go, though.

(17) I like lamp shades, but sometimes I get a little paralyzed. Really cute? Really ugly? I go back and forth. Mostly, I think cute. But I don't really trust myself all that much. I like Anthropologie shades, but their prices are fairly redonkulous.

(18) I like the idea of some kind of cable from which I can hang photos, postcards, and other little bits and pieces of things I like but aren't sure what else to do with. I think this might be a good fit for an office. Again, not the most original concept on planet earth, but I still like it.

(19) I was told by a very bossy woman to order Flea Market Style, so I did. It just arrived about 15 minutes ago. I am excited!

To be continued ...

34

The night before my birthday, I went out for Thai with my parents and brother. We had a nice visit over shrimp toast, nam sod, and various shrimp/chicken/vegetable entrees.

On my birthday morning, I was inexplicably wide awake at 4 a.m. I decided to roll over, flip on the bedside lamp, and open Harry: A History by Melissa Anelli, which (Melissa was right) is pretty fantastic. I spent a couple of hours with it before falling back asleep, only to be awakened at 8 by Zuko's staccato alarm bark. Oh well. I ate breakfast and headed out on a run. It was gray and very breezy out, the wind whipping the leaves (and me) all over the road. I got diverted by a train at one point, but overall, it was a fairly satisfying run.

After showering and all that jazz, I stopped for an iced coffee and headed to the farmer's market, where I bought some birthday gifts for friends. It started getting colder and colder outside, which was weird considering how warm it's been lately. I had a nice lunch with B. and headed to my massage appointment. It was my first time with a male massage therapist since Arturo in Costa Rica. I was a little nervous but got over it quickly. As he dug into upper back with great force, he noted that I can take more pressure than most. Then as he dug into my neck mightily, he said that some people have a tight spot here and there in their necks but that mine was tight all over. "Your neck ... is a rock," he said. "Yeah," I sighed. He worked on it for most of the hour, moving onto my hips at my request because they are always super tight, I think from running and squatting during the f-ing Jillian Michaels' DVD, and hard to stretch. He did all sorts of stretches, pushing my knee onto my chest and saying, "Wow, you are flexible. I mean -- wow. You are FLEXIBLE." I told him that was the only thing I scored well on during my gym fitness test a few years ago. Then he held my hip as he stretched it the opposite way across my body and sort of lay on it. This is hard to explain and sounds sort of obscene, but it was all very comfortable and professional until I screamed when he massaged the IT Band area of my hip with a little too much vim and vigor. Then he worked my upper back underneath my shoulder blades and so forth and it was basically an hour of complete heaven. It felt like a great gift to give myself on my birthday.

After my massage, I lay like goo on the couch and popped in my new Dr. Horrible DVD, a gift from my little brother. It was awesome, of course, as was the musical commentary, which just knocked my socks off. This whole enterprise is so delightful on so many levels to me. I bought myself the soundtrack and made a copy for him so we could continue to share the Dr. Horrible love. It was fun to check the mailbox and get some really nice cards. Overall, it was a lovely morning and afternoon.

The day shifted into evening, and I headed out for a girls' dinner. Stupid me did not think to make reservations, so our group of six faced a two-hour wait. Oops! So we sat outside on the patio, which was challenging due to the fact that a sudden Arctic blast was blowing through. Luckily there were heaters, and it gave me an excuse to wear my new school bus-colored coat all night long. We shared potstickers and pizza and fried rice and pad Thai and drank wine and gossiped and laughed and it felt really good to be surrounded by women I've known so long ... one I've known since kindergarten. They all brought me very wonderful and thoughtful gifts, which I didn't expect, and picked up my tab. It was all very special! I can't really describe it without lapsing into sentimentality so I'll stop there. One girlfriend and I headed out to watch my brother play for a little while but didn't last very long as apparently 34 means you have to be in bed by 11:00.

It got down into the thirties last night after a long string of days in the seventies, so that was a little bizarre. I woke up this morning and went to the grocery store, story of my life. Then I baked a ton of St. Patrick's Day cookies to freeze for my parade party. I've never frozen cookies before and hope they come out okay. I have to say that the green shamrock-shaped cookies are pretty cute even though some of them look more like amoebas than shamrocks. Then I decided to go out to World Market and look for some aqua curtains for my bedroom. I bought these and like them a lot. I also bought a new rug for the foot of my bed. My room, I have to say, is looking very different, and I am happy about it. I decided to go all white for my new bed (more on the new bed soon!), and I think it's all coming together.

Today I made this in my crock pot. I drained that m-fing tofu for like 36 hours and it still felt a bit moist. But I had better luck with the cornstarch and browning the tofu than last time; I think tofu just feels damp no matter how long you drain it! I used olive oil instead of butter and took my time getting it nice and brown, and it turned out perfectly delicious. I cooked it longer than the 3 hours instructed because I checked it at 3 hours and the carrots were still too hard for my liking. I also added a little more water than the recipe called for and when it tells you to add a little water and shake up the remnants of the sauce in the jar, I added 1/4 a teaspoon of cayenne pepper and some salt and shook that up with the liquid. I also added two cloves of chopped garlic and a pretty hefty chunk of chopped fresh ginger. Fascinating, I know! Anyway, I ate it over basmati rice, and it might be my favorite thing I've made in the crockpot thus far. Success!

Overall, it's been a very nice birthday weekend. Today is the beginning of a new month and a new year at a new age. I am determined to live well and work hard and, as Maria instructed Liesl, look for my life.

Fat Tuesday / Ash Wednesday

Yesterday we had a holiday. I woke up early, of course, and headed to the grocery store for a big shopping trip and was home by 9 a.m. I don't really remember what I did. Oh yeah, I went on a run. 3 miles on a beautiful day. Then I had an impromptu lunch with M. and my favorite five-year-old, her daughter. We ate BBQ chicken pizza and drank frozen lemonade and it was great to have some girl time. I went to a cooking store where the owner fussed at me for not having cash, snarling that she might as well give me the shamrock cookie cutter for free for what running the charge would cost her. Made mental note not to return to stores where owners fuss at you for buying something. Eventually, I headed to my parents' house, where my mom and I ate king cake and watched Slumdog. (A copy on DVD arrived in my mailbox one day last month, a surprise from a friend. No idea where he got it; didn't ask!) I was able to watch the entire movie with my eyes open this time instead of shielding them at certain tense moments, and I caught things I missed the first two times around, including one really big thing involving Salim and Latika when they were kids. It was great fun to watch this movie with my mom, who covered her eyes, shrieked, writhed in her chair, laughed, and cried in all the right places. It is always fun to watch someone you love fall in love with something you love. I tell myself that I like sharing things I love regardless of how they're received, but it's always a bit deflating when something falls short of what you want it to be for someone (which is as awesome to them as it is to you). So I was unspeakably psyched to see how psyched she was to watch this movie. She actually called it "a gift." Good times.

Today is Ash Wednesday. I am giving up junk food for Lent. This feels like a monumental undertaking. My mom says that Lent, in part, is about emptying yourself of bad things in order to make room for good things. I think she meant spiritually, but I am taking this sort of literally, in that I am emptying my body of food that is bad for me and hoping it makes room for me to feel better, sleep better, look better (always a bonus), and most of all, live better. I realize it's only day one, but I feel oddly freed by this decision. Of course, in a week, I will probably be all "my kingdom for a Twix!" We'll see. Also, I abandoned my no-coffee resolution after less than a week, and I've decided my morning cup of coffee will have to be pried from my cold dead hands.

A few co-workers and I went to noon mass today for Ash Wednesday. It had been so long since going to Ash Wednesday mass that I was thinking you get the ashes the same time as you get communion. But no. You file up separately for each act. I have to tell you. I could not believe how many people showed up for noon mass in the middle of a workday. I mean, I could believe it, but I couldn't believe it. People were pouring into that cathedral like ants. We were squished together as tightly as possible in the pews, and still a huge group of people was standing in the back and people were lined up standing on the sides. Hundreds upon hundreds of people is what I'm saying. And it's not like this is the only service around ... all of the parishes have multiple masses throughout the morning, day, and evening today. The ash getting took a very long time. At communion, they ran out of communion wafers. The bishop gathered a few of us who were left around and started randomly and somewhat apologetically blessing us after they ran out. One of the ushers, a wrinkled old man, leaned over, realizing they'd also run out of wine, and whispered to us, "If we'd known there'd be this many people, we'd have brought more liquor!" Eventually someone ran in with a plastic bucket of more wafers and we all were able to receive them. At the beginning of the mass, before the processional, the cantor was announcing the song pages and then said, "Oops, I forgot to mention this mass is being presided over by the bishop. Sorry, Bishop!" and started waving her hands in the air like she just didn't care at the bishop who was in the back of the cathedral. It was all very comedic in a way, this solemn holy day.

What struck me about sitting there around these bazillions of people was not only the reminder that I live in a town of a bazillion Catholics who will march through the streets at lunch time to fill a cathedral on Ash Wednesday and what a possibly peculiar thing that is but also the reminder that maybe it isn't so much about what you necessarily believe but about rituals and tradition. I never know what I believe on any given day, but I believe in family and in growing up with certain traditions and that it's important to revisit those traditions sometimes. Thinking about that made it all a bit easier to stomach when the bishop went on and on about how we are all going to die physically but live on spiritually. It was a bit much to take on an empty, growling stomach that was dreaming of ordering a stir-fry as soon as this mass was ended and we went in peace. I found myself wondering about the people around me and the reasons why they were there. Was she a fervent believer with all of her heart? Was he there because he wanted to remember his mom or dad or grandma who used to take him to mass when he was little? Were they praying for sick relatives or friends? Were they there hoping that God exists and will save our country from this mess we're in? Were they there in case God exists so they won't go straight to hell? Who knows? Whatever the reasons, I did feel a little sense of community in that big church and with my colleagues as we returned to work with big black smudges in the middle of our foreheads.

This evening, I lay on the floor of my bedroom taking my bed apart, cursing and shaking out my throbbing hands as they turned purple from trying to unscrew totally shot screws with all sorts of sub-par tools. I wondered if there were some I would never be able to unscrew and about taking a hammer to them in blind rage. Finally, I got them all out. It was an Ash Wednesday/pliers miracle. Even though it was a huge pain, it felt good to do it all by myself, a very Mare Winningham in St. Elmo's Fire/her own peanut butter and jelly in her own apartment moment. My new bed is arriving tomorrow after 3.5 weeks of waiting for it; more on that later. I hope that it radically changes my life.

Catching up / Cry for help

I forgot to mention that I saw a really good rental recently. It's called The Edge of Heaven. I didn't know much about it going in, but I'm so glad I ended up watching it. It's hard to say too much about it without giving important things away, and I wouldn't recommending reading up on it before seeing it. Just know that it's about Turkey, Germany, a father, a son, a mother, a daughter, lovers, political activism, and other fascinating things. I highly recommend it, and I look forward to checking out another effort by Fatih Akin, the award-winning Head On.

My little brother and I took a road trip to see Slumdog Millionaire yesterday after deciding to go to it if it's not going to come to us. It was totally worth the drive and the time. I strenously avoided details on the film before seeing it because I knew it would be special, and I didn't want to know anything about it going in. That was wise. I was surprised by everything, and I had no idea I'd be so nervously on the edge of my seat the entire time. I don't think I relaxed or let my breath out for a single second. It was so exhilarating and beautiful. We loved it and wished we could stay to watch it all over again.

(The next week ...)

I've now seen Head On, supposedly a very big deal. It was definitely memorable and the performances were strong, but it didn't capture my heart the way The Edge of Heaven did. I was mostly annoyed and disturbed by its leading characters instead of in love with them and rooting for them like I was in the other film. There was a little too much blood and sex for me, ultimately.

Thanks to my friend Erin for linking to a great crockpot recipe site. Yesterday, I made the Moroccan lentil soup. The grocery store did not have garam masala, so I used an Indian spice blend, or vegetable broth, so I used chicken broth. Other than that, I stuck to the recipe, and it was DELICIOUS. It also made enough to feed a small army, so I fed some to B., some to my parents, and a lot to my freezer. I am excited to try out some more of this site's recipes for the rest of winter. 

I haven't really been able to get into River Secrets, my love for Shannon Hale's other Bayern books notwithstanding. Luckily, just I was feeling that gnawing feeling of wanting a good book, a galley arrived from trusty Melissa today called A Map of the Known World. (She reviewed it here.) I just read the first two chapters, and it is wonderful so far.

Why did no one ever hold me down and force me to watch Extras? I have just finished season one, and it is the first thing that has made me laugh out loud in ages. It is just what I needed this week, when feeling a bit gray and melancholy, just like the weather, and I can't wait to get season two. I watched Ricky Gervais on Inside the Actors Studio recently, and he said that Andy is the complete opposite of David Brent, which I don't really believe. I understand Andy is a lot more self-aware than David Brent and is often the one actually noticing other people's awfulness instead of everyone noting it about him, but he's really quite similar to David Brent in that sometimes he is so clueless and embarrassing to watch, especially when begging for a line. I mean, clearly he is not the tosser (am I using that British word correctly? no idea!) David Brent is, but he can still be an idiot. Augh! It's so good. I loved it. And it's great to see Charlotte from Ugly Betty as the dim but well-meaning Maggie. And as with The Office, I love watching the behind the scenes stuff because I cannot help but be charmed by the way that Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant genuinely seem to crack each other up to no end. Maybe it's all a put-on, but I like to believe it's a real friendship and affection in addition to a professional and creative collaboration. I don't want to think about this too much or it might lead me dangerously down the road toward Merchant/Gervais fan fiction or something. But I do like watching them make each other laugh, and it makes me think of how making each other laugh is so important in a friendship. Even when things are really shitty, my friends and I can still make each other laugh. This paragraph is getting lamer and lamer so I'll stop.

I have nothing else to say except a cry for help. I have to buy a new mattress set. I've never bought one before. My bed is a hand-me-down from my older brother that I've had for 15 years and that he had God knows how many years before that. It's heinous, I am sleeping worse than ever, and it's kind of making life suck. If you have a bed that you like a lot or love, can you please leave me a comment and tell me about it? Also please feel free to share any bed shopping tips you might have. Or feel free to tell me not to buy a certain type that you think is bad. I don't know why I am so paralyzed about doing this; I am a grown woman and should be able to go to a store and buy a friggin' mattress set. But I really like testimonials, and I like getting them from people I know (or sort of know) instead of crazy people on Internet review websites. I am not afraid to throw down some cash because I think this is an important investment that could literally and vastly improve my life. Thanks in advance for any guidance you can provide.

Niceness

This has been a weekend filled with lovely things. Some things haven't been so lovely, mostly involving the heinousness that is standing on a ladder painting ceilings, but I'm going to focus on what's been nice.

My mom and I celebrated her birthday by eating pizza and gelato and watching The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which I liked more than I thought I would; particularly enjoyable were the girl who played Lucy and the wonderful James McAvoy as Mr. Tumnus. 

This weekend also marked the triumphant return of Friday Night Lights to network television and the first of the final episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I love these shows so much; they make me so happy. I already miss them, knowing BG is nearing the end and FNL is probably not far behind. Yesterday I made my favorite crock pot recipe, and today my mom shared carrot salad and bean soup. I read a book, Schooled by Gordon Korman, that started off annoying but ended up charming me.

Today I went on one of the best runs in recent memory. When you get to leave the house at noon on a sunny, cloudless, blue-skied Sunday in January and it's 65 degrees outside, you are one lucky girl. So the weather played a major part of the pleasantness of today's run, but there were other factors -- the many white pelicans perched on the lakeshore in a huddle -- God, how I love the white pelicans! The little pink and white buds starting to peek out from the bare branches of dozens of Japanese magnolia trees. The ducks taking flight in unison. The breeze. The sight of people walking their dogs, picnicking beside the lake, biking, walking, running. The new earphones which allowed me to actually hear my songs in both ears, which was like running in super surround sound compared to what I'm used to. The way that "You Can't Stop the Beat" came on just when I needed it to. The fact that I didn't worry about a single thing while rounding the lakes. I just thought about how glad I am to have the day off tomorrow and how full my heart feels when thinking about the day after tomorrow. 

Last but not least, running three miles on a gorgeous, perfect day is about a billion times more fun than painting a bathroom ceiling, which I did yesterday and all morning long and which I'm about to have to do some more. It's been months since Gustav, and I could bear the brown spots not a day longer. Painting ceilings ranks in life, I've found, with some of the most dreadful acts a person can do on a beautiful day. Mishaps have been the story of the day ... the roller snapping in two and falling on my head, stepping off the ladder and taking down the shower curtain mid-plummet, drips galore in the bathtub and all over the floor, etc. But at least I had good music to keep me company and all of the windows are thrown up and the fans are running to try to keep the air as fresh as possible. 

My brother just called and wants me to road trip with him tomorrow to see Slumdog Millionaire, which sounds like the best idea I've ever heard. A few nights ago, I went to his house to eat dinner and watch The Dark Knight, which he of course loves immensely as a lifelong Batman fan. I thought it was way too long, but we agreed that Heath Ledger and whoever first decided to slap BBQ sauce and chicken on pizza are both geniuses.

All in all, a mighty fine weekend a few weeks into the new year.

Decluttering, etc.

This weekend I went bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. I decided I needed to declutter my house as much as possible in a tornadic burst of activity. I washed and ironed my bedroom and living room curtains. I went through shoebox after shoebox of old photos, trashing many of them, along with every set of negatives dating back 20+ years. I cleaned out three, count 'em, three junk drawers in my kitchen. Why did I have seven wrenches? I'll never know. Goodbye, wrenches. I went through a giant box of old videotapes. I went through a stack of old magazines. I washed a giant hamper full of clothes that had been sitting in a closet for over a year. (Horrible, I know, right? True confession time!) I went through two boxes actually labeled with the words "Misc. Crap." I filed, tossed, and bagged/boxed for St. Vincent de Paul. 

It's not like you walk into my house and think, "CLUTTER!" It's because it's all stashed away in drawers, cabinets, and closets. And every time I would pull something out to go through, I'd realize there was something else behind it. It was like a horrible multiplication of mess. So many boxes ... I can't even really believe it. I threw out ancient TV Guides and ancient TV Guide clippings about shows like Beauty and the Beast and Life Goes On. I found my Disney World ID and Disney name tag and Edelweiss seeds purchased in 1998 in Salzburg on The Sound of Music tour. My sister still has hers, too, bought separately from me, and we resolved to plant them in pots on the same day, even though I have no idea if seeds stay alive in little packets for eleven years. I found four very pretty rosaries, and I have no memory of where they came from. 

So I made a lot of progress, but it's basically invisible progress because most of it was hidden away. I am comforted to know that my closets are less full and that I am now free of some of the many things I had but no longer wanted or needed. I still have a long way to go ... I just found a giant box of playbills and theater programs dating back to young childhood. (Sigh.)

Meanwhile, last week, I dropped my iPhone on the very hard tile floor outside my office elevator, and it went splat. The home button stopped working, the ring sounded like something gasping for air from a vat of quicksand, the person on the other line couldn't hear me at all, and it wouldn't sync to iTunes. It was a sad day indeed. I made an appointment at the store, fully expecting to be told my warranty had expired two weeks prior and I was SoL. When the guy said that my warranty just expired two weeks ago and he would swap it out, "just this once," I practically started weeping right there on my stool. It was a Genius Bar miracle. Thank you, Eric at the Apple store! 

I can't focus on anything else to write. The Visitor is quite a good movie. The performances are amazing, and it is quite moving. I got it because it was written and directed by the guy who did The Station Agent, which I adored, and it didn't disappoint. And I am so glad that Colin Farrell won the Golden Globe (read Kymm's great recap) last night for In Bruges. I have been telling anyone who'll listen about how fantastic he was in this movie for months, and I am so glad the whole world knows it now! And his speech was delightful and divine, and I love him. 

Videotape purge

I have a videotape problem. A while back, I threw out all of the unlabeled tapes in a fit of deciding that life is too short. Which leaves me with a giant laundry basket of videotapes which I am sitting down to inventory as a part of my resolution of Clutter Free in '09. I haven't looked at many of these in years. I can't vouch that what the label says is even what's still on the tapes. If you want any of these, let me know. I am not getting rid of any thirtysomething tapes or tapes with any home video on them. If anyone wants anything, I'll double check that the label's right before sending it out.

(1) Life Goes On: Libby & Drew go out of town - party; Who's the Boss finale; Growing Pains finale; The Wonder Years: Michael & Karen's wedding; Doogie Howser: Wanda's new stepmom; The Cosby Show finale; Quantum Leap finale; A Different World finale; The Wonder Years finale (part).

(2) thirtysomething: Hope's parents' anniversary; Lee & Melissa: Cinderella; Lee meets Melissa's friends; The Diary; Christmas; Beauty & the Beast: 2 episodes.

(3) thirtysomething: Nancy's art class; Second Look; part of "Whatever happens, I do love you, Lee"; Billy proposes; New Year's Eve; Elliot & Catholic Church.

(4) thirtysomething: pilot, inside thirtysomething seminar; parents are coming; housewarming; couples; but not for me.

(5) Rosie: Michael Jordan, Bryant Gumble; Rosie: laughing spasm; Rosie: Barbara Walters; General Hospital: Sonny & Brenda's wedding; Ally McBeal; General Hospital: Sonny & Brenda flashbacks. (This tape is circa 1997.)

(5) Dinosaurs (? Why ?); The Wonder Years: roll teacher's house, first week of high school; Doogie Howser: their first apartment; Quantum Leap (KKK); Another World: R/C in NY, Matt/ Donna in car); Disney afternoon; More Another World; Life Goes On: nude painting; Life Goes On: Jesse's birthday, Becca's new friend, Jesse gets sick, school presentation; Joesph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: behind the scenes; thirtysomething: Melissa & Gary / Hope & Michael's first date flashback; 1/2 of funeral episode

(6) Rosie on Oprah; Daytime Emmy Awards 1997; MTV Movie Awards 1997; Part of Five season finale 1997

(7) Steve & Kayla's wedding -- Melissa, does this belong to you or did you send it to me to keep? Let me know!

(8) 1996 Tony Awards -- this is the one with Rent and I might keep it. Although I'm sure it's all on YouTube. THIS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM, I know!

(9) Rent tape (I bought it for $10 for a tape with a bunch of TV appearances on it made by someone named Paige ... I will probably keep this.)

(10) You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. (Cartoon -- I will keep this until it comes out on DVD someday. In fact, I think I will put it in right now.)

(11) Chicago -- London, Cabaret -- Donmare Warehouse, Rent -- Yasmin as Maureen, Forbidden Broadway highlights -- okay, Melissa, I am pretty sure this belongs to you and I will send it back to you.

(12) 1998 Tony Awards.

(13) 1992 Bill Clinton inauguration stuff; Life Goes On: Becca & Jesse get horny (I actually wrote this on the label, gross, I blame being in high school); Life Goes On: "His Name Was Jesse": Dial-a-Teacher stuff (local access show I helped host in high school); Class of '96 opening credits; Blossom: Tony meets wife; end of Class of '96; All My Children: Tad's alive; 90210: prom night; Melrose: Jane finds out / Billy & Al; Christian Slater on Arsenio; 2nd 1/2 of China Beach; Melrose: Al kisses Billy 1st time

(14) Four Days tapes from the mid-80s; not sure what's on them but I can't bring myself to throw them away.

(15) Oscars 1998.

(16) thirtysomething: I'm in love with a gynecologist; business as usual; accounts receivable; who's forest is it; nancy's first date; undone.

(17) Singles; Say Anything: Life Goes On: "the non-erasable final show"

(18) Madonna on Oprah; Party of Five: the wedding; Homicide: I-95 killer; Homicide: Thanksgiving; Brandon Tartikoff special; Princess Diana; Maya Angelou

(19) PBS documentary about recording of new King & I soundtrack with Julie Andrews & Lea Salonga; Clueless; Something to Talk About

(20) thirtysomething

(21) More thirtysomething

(22) Rosie: Susan Lucci, Rob Schneider, Alan Jackson, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island; Life Goes On: The Storybook, Paige/Kenny; Rosie: Heather Locklear, Delroy Lindo; Life Goes On: Jesse/Becca--married? AIDS hospice: Beauty and the Beast: Though Lovers Be Lost

(23) The Real World NY: 1993

(24) My So-Called Life; 1996 Oscars; Party of Five 2nd season finale 1996.

(25) Oscars 1995.

(26) Rosie: 100th show w/ Jeff Bridges, Reba M., Marlo Thomas; Beauty & the Beast (BatB): reporter/Paracelsus (break-up); BatB: punk kids; Rosie: Barry Manilow, Blair U., Cheryl Ladd; Rosie: Elton John, Sarah Ferguson; Life Goes On: the baby's room / time warp; General Hospital: Luke & Laura's 15th anniv.

(27) Series finales: Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, Cosby Show, A Different World, Cheers, Quantum Leap

(28) The Truth about Cats & Dogs, The Birdcage, Tony Awards 1997.

(29) Rent OBC on Rosie 1997, Golden Globes 1997, Friends.

(30) The Wonder Years: Winnie breaks her leg; Wonder Years: more flashbacks (old); China Beach: My Fair Lady songs; Murphy Brown: she names Avery; Love & War -- ew; Some Danielle Steele nonsense; People Choice Awards 1991; news; Cheers -- old -- Diane, Coach

(31) 1997 River Phoenix special

I am tired and have to stop now. If you want any of these, let me know and I'll mail them to you happily. Also, I do realize that there is something very wrong with me.

Things I Like

I've been feeling sort of at a loss as to what to write about here. It's weird to think it is now 2009, and I started doing this online diary writing thing in 1999. That boggles the mind. I think about all I wrote that is no longer online, all I've written that still is, and what kind of things I'm still comfortable writing about here. It's all a bit much lately. Lots of things happened in 1999, and it is now 2009. In January of 1999, I was teaching Shakespeare to 9th and 10th graders in Florida. In the summer of 1999, several things happened. I moved back here. I got Daisy. Daisy is 10 years old! I got my current job. I've had this job for almost 10 years! I started an online journal. 10 years, 10 years, 10 years. It's just a weird thought, that's all. It makes my head hurt a little bit.

So today I think I will keep it simple write about some things that I like. (There are plenty of things I don't like, of course, but I'm not focusing on them today.)

I like my new purse. I have it in Rhombus Blue. I coveted my sister's so passionately that she bought me my own. I love it! I love that it's cute, I love that it's sporty, I love that it's big, and I love that it's reversible. (It's a nice mocha brown on the other side.) The only thing I don't love is that it doesn't have a zipper or snap at the top to keep me from dumping its contents out on the floor, which I tend to do constantly with purses, but it's deep enough that sometimes things don't fall out even when it's turned over. Yay, new purse!

I like my new calendar. My friend Grace made this calendar with her own breathtaking photographs and included some lovely quotes. I cannot tell you how much it brightens my day to see it every day. It is such a nice gift to have given to myself to start the new year, and I am grateful to her for creating it.

I like that David Sedaris exists and keeps writing books that make me very happy.

I like that I had the good sense to hire a dependable yard man years ago and that he and his crew just did an excellent job plowing down the backyard jungle.

I like my new washing machine and that my mom recommended a nice plumber who fixed the leaking faucets and that his nice son, when I noted the heinousness of my hated outdoor laundry room, as I always do, said, "Hey, all you do in this room is laundry -- who cares?" And that suddenly all of my anxiety about the laundry room, its rotting walls, and its motley crew of vermin residents lessened significantly. I also like that the plumber took one look at my 27-year-old hot water heater and scolded me in sputtering exasperation for even considering buying a new one, saying they don't make them like that anymore and to use it until it decides one day to empty itself of its contents all over the floor. I decided that's just fine by me.

I like that I've made a little progress in decluttering my life. Small things like cleaning out the kitchen pantry and bagging up a few things for the food bank, pulling a few books off of the overcrowded bookshelves and boxing them up to give away, and pulling out my dresser to wipe the piles of cat hair from the floor underneath it, and even making my bed every day make me feel good and better about the world in general.

I like that we'll have a new president very soon.

I like that the sun has come back out after several very rainy, gloomy days.

I like the fact that my BFF is not only pregnant for the first time but pregnant with twins. There are no words that aptly capture my excitement about this. I am more grateful than ever to have had our visit in Hawaii last fall and to have had such great time together over these holidays ... a nice coffee date with her, our other BFF, and our favorite five-year-old kid in a Peter Pan costume; a night of Rock Band and pizza; a soup and sandwiches lunch; a night of gumbo, etouffee, and jambalaya; her fun wedding reception (party of the century); dinner the night before she left; etc. All of these occasions were mostly built around food, photographs, laughter, and tears. Without getting too much into the story of the twins (because that is her story), all I can say is that this unexpected news reminds me that life is full of surprises, and in the immortal words of Kevin Arnold in the series finale of The Wonder Years, "You go where life takes you." I think it is a beautiful thing.

And now, some random photos from the holidays that I like.

Updating on a cold, rainy night.

I'm going to go ahead and shoot straight with you. The weather is heinous. It's 42 degrees outside and raining but it feels like -42 and is so vile it could potentially make my mood vile as well, but I am newly resolved not to be in a vile mood anymore!

I have been in a vile mood for several days. I have been very ants in my pants about the contractor coming and finally replacing my Gustav-damaged ceilings. I feared sheetrock dust exploding into every corner of the house, totally disrupting the pets' lives, and not being able to shower because the bathtub would be full of fallen insulation. After tossing and turning all night, I finally threw myself out of bed pre-dawn and covered beds and shower heads and counters with plastic and moved rugs and hauled crap around trying to move as much as I could out of the way of the onslaught of mess and pain. Only to have the contractor's dudes arrive, take one look at the ceiling and make one quick crawl around the attic and declare that I don't even need new ceilings! What? Yes. No. I should just treat them with something and repaint them. Oooookay. I know this is good news, but it is not what I was told before and it kind of made my head spin after preparing mentally all these months to spend the money and face the mess. They said if the mold didn't grow back after I cleaned it up then it wasn't moldy and all the brown spots are just stains. They said everything in the attic is dry. Well, eff me! Okay. I am going to treat this all as a good thing and count myself blessed.

Right now I am sitting on the couch in sweats eating wheat thins, baby carrots dipped in zesty lemon hummos, and scrambled eggs and cheese. This is a very comforting dinner. I am listening to Sufjan Stevens' Christmas music which for some reason I am only listening to for the first time this year, and I could not possibly love it more. My absolute favorite is "Holy, Holy, Holy," which is a hymn, not a Christmas carol, as far as I'm concerned, but I still love it. I have now listened to it approximately fifty times in the past 2 days. I made copies for my sister, a girlfriend, and both of my parents. It is making me really happy. I don't know the first fat thing about Sufjan Stevens, but apparently I love him. I am trying to figure out who sings the backup harmonies on this song, but I have no idea. Anyone?

I'm not sure what else has been going on. Work is kind of zany for me this time of year because of a holiday project. I got a little overwhelmed with my last week of school work but at this point I am over that. I finished When You Are Engulfed in Flames yesterday, and I am already nostalgic for it. I can't stop baking mint chocolate cookies. I took 9 days off of running and started it up again last week. So far, I have not died, though I have on occasion felt like I might. I am very excited to see Milk and Slumdog Millionaire. I put up Christmas lights! They are very pretty. I am afraid of both fire and electrocution, so this was a big step for me. I blithely hung them up many years ago when I first moved in, but I've avoided it in recent years because I am a big fraidy cat, but I just went ahead and did it, and they look beautiful and nothing catastrophic has happened yet. I am going to take this as a good sign for the holidays ahead.

Bobbing along

I have finished all episodes of Wonderfalls except for "Lying Pig," which my Netflixed DVD would not play for anything despite multiple efforts at cleaning it. Overall, I enjoyed this series immensely. It is quirky and strange and very fun to watch. I'd never seen most of the series regulars before, and they all won me over quickly. I think my favorite casting element of the show, though, was how exciting it was to see familiar faces popping in from episode to episode. I had no idea that Tracie Thoms, who played Joanne in the Rent film, was a regular on this show as the lead's best friend. She was really great on the show, and it was so fun to see her in another role. Each episode features a guest star or two in a key role, and I'm telling you, this show had some of the best guest stars ever. Louise Fletcher (the grandmother in Flowers in the Attic, the piano teacher on Joan of Arcadia, and the Oscar-winning Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!), Rue McClanahan (Blanche Devereaux!), Audrey Wasilewski (the self-righteous neighbor on Big Love, Peggy's self-righteous sister on Mad Men), Glenn Fitzgerald (the awesome Brian on Dirty Sexy Money), Sarah Drew (Hannah on my beloved Everwood, Salvatore's wife on Mad Men), and last but not least, Jewel Staite (Kaylee from Firefly and Serenity) ... the list goes on and on. Not to mention that one of the series regulars is Lee Pace, a.k.a. Ned the piemaker, a.k.a. Michael in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. I really recommend this show. It's got several commentary tracks, and my favorite moment on any of them was when the show's creators, the actress who played Jaye, and the actress who played Sharon all burst into joyful song when the opening credits played. It's clear the affection they all still have for the show, and it warmed my heart.

My mom and I went to see The Secret Life of Bees. We both cried. I was surprised that Alicia Keys was one of the strongest actresses in the film -- I thought she was truly fantastic -- and Dakota Fanning is just an awesome actress. There, I said it. It was nice to see the movie with my mom, as the book meant a lot to both of us when we first read it and we really bonded over it.

Lately I have been sort of hating my house. It's dusty, crawling with pet hair tumbleweeds, and I've decided I loathe all of my furniture, wall colors, and bedding. Basically ... everything about it. I bought my couch from the couple who used to live next-door on the day I moved in because they were having a garage sale and it seemed quite convenient. But it's quite ugly, who are we kidding? I went on a really red rampage a few years back which resulted in red dining room walls, red chairs, red throw pillows, red lamps, red red red. I am really over the red. And now I'm not sure what possessed me to paint my kitchen the color of an avocado or my hall bright orange. I have one bedroom that is basically a blank slate ... the only thing in it is a twin bed (with bedding I hate, of course) and I'd really like to build a really cute room entirely from scratch. Oh, and it has a cute rug.

That rug is basically the only thing in my house (other than my rainbow bookcase) that I like right now. None of it hangs together. It's very dissatisfying.

Honestly I don't know where to begin. Paging AB Chao ...

Recipe for a nice Friday evening ... Thai take-out, the season two season finale of Mad Men, the Halloween episode of The Office, and pumpkin pecan quick bread with vanilla ice cream.

Catching up

Having an iced coffee before my little brother and I head out to see the Rent film. I am looking forward to it, though I'm not sure what to expect. We had to design TV channels in my 9th grade mass media class, and mine was a Broadway channel -- all shows, all the time, sort of a pay-per-view situation. I thought it was a swell idea at age 13, and I remember one obnoxious boy saying during the class critique that it wouldn't be the same as being in the theater. Well, duh. I just hope the Rent film (filmed on stage) is not too much like a music video. That frightens me.

It is so beautiful outside it's hard not to be in a decent mood these days. On Friday evening, B. and I ordered a chicken pesto pizza and settled in to watch the first presidential debate. We yelled at the TV a lot and applauded a lot. What I keep thinking about is how at least Obama attempted to look at and address McCain directly sometimes while McCain never did once, at least not that I noticed. And I wonder if that was intentional strategy -- McCain's way of saying Obama isn't worth his attention because "HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT" -- or just McCain being a wuss. I haven't watched much debate commentary because I saw a McCain advisor triumphantly concluding right after the debate that Obama is out of touch with mainstream America and I thought I was going to go blind. I just get too emotional. That said, I can't wait for Thursday's vice presidential debate, during which my friend predicts Palin will be a "hot mess all over the screen!"

Yesterday is kind of a blur ... I did homework and watched the highlights of the first season of The Rosie O'Donnell Show. Oh, I got a new roof! I got a new roof on Friday. Which I love, although I stepped on two giant roofing nails this morning in my front yard and luckily I had on thick-soled sneakers and the nails went between my toes instead of into my foot. I am going to call the roofer tomorrow and see if he can send someone back out with the magnet broom.

Last night, we ate dinner outside on a restaurant patio (miso soup, sushi rolls, and a macadamia nut chicken salad) and went to see Burn Before Reading. I both liked and didn't like it. It was worth seeing for Brad Pitt alone.

:::

(Later in the day ...) My brother and I just got back from the Rent film. WOW! Talk about exceeding all expectations. I thought that Roger was a little too pretty. That said, most of the cast knocked my socks off both vocally and acting-wise. The standout, far and away, was Renee Elise Goldsberry as Mimi. Which surprised me because I always mistakenly thought she was sort of a bland presence based on my limited viewings of her on One Life to Live. I could not have been more wrong about her. Not only was her singing voice fantastic, she completely looked the part from head to toe and acted circles around everyone else on stage. Not that the other actors weren't good because some of them definitely were -- but she was on a whole different level. She really impressed me and I'm so glad I got to see her performing this character. The other standouts for me were Michael McElroy as Collins and Justin Johnston as Angel. They were so wonderful in "I'll Cover You" that they made me not even miss Jesse L. Martin and Wilson Jermaine Heredia. Of course, they'll always be those characters in my heart, but the ones I saw today brought the same kind of beautiful performances and chemistry to that pair. Impressive, I am telling you. IMPRESSIVE. Michael McElroy's voice=beautiful. Of course, nothing beats seeing theater live, but this was a real treat, and I am so glad we went.

:::

Last night before Burn After Reading, of course there were trailers. The only one that made me sit up and pay attention was the one for Milk. I accidentally caught The Times of Harvey Milk (Oscar-winning documentary) on PBS several years ago, and it has stayed with me. I am really looking forward to seeing Milk (or as much as I can look forward to something that I am sure will ultimately be devastating.) If nothing else, I think it's an important story of an important life that more people need to hear. The documentary is definitely worth seeing, and it's available from Netflix and in 10 parts on YouTube.

And now I am going to eat the tofu pepper stir fry I just made, wash stinky towels that were trapped in a bathroom cabinet whose ceiling was molding unbeknownst to me, and prepare to face the week ahead.

Weekend Update

It was a jam-packed weekend to be sure. On Friday evening, B. and I headed out to celebrate the end of his finals with some of his school friends. We ate pizza and drank beer. Then we went to a foul, piss-smelling bar where he played pool and merriment was made. I headed home early while he deservingly partied the night away.

The next morning, I ... am drawing a blank. Oh yeah. I went to World Market to buy some bamboo shades for my back living room windows. I have some cute but flimsy white curtains in there, and now that every last tree that provided shade to the back of my house has been felled either by Katrina or a chainsaw, it gets full afternoon sun and causes my house to bake like an oven every single afternoon. I'm not sure how I feel about the shades, and I broke one of my dad's drill bits by trying to drill a hole in the window frame with the drill set in the wrong direction, but B. saved the day and now they're hanging sturdily and darkly. This does not solve the problem of the curtains I have hanging over my sliding glass door which, despite being think and sturdy and nice khaki Pottery Barn curtains, do zilch to block out the slammin' rays of the sun. But it's a start.

Then I went to class, where I had to walk out angrily and lie on a bench in the quad in the sun for a few minutes and talk to S. on the phone because I was so annoyed that people were going over the set 7-minute time limit for our presentations, like way over, like doubling that time and beyond, and it meant we would likely have to meet the following weekend. And I did not understand why this professor whom I like very much was not just shutting them the heck down. What is wrong with these people? I do not know. But because the last remaining people (myself included) speed-talked through ours, not bothering to fire up our powerpoints, we got done in time. So much for all that time spent on the powerpoint for nothing. I really need to relate, relax, and release over this and unclench. And I have. There. Done! Overall, I loved the class because I got to read and talk about YA literature which is one of my favorite things in life to do.

That evening, we ... I don't know why I am drawing such ferocious blanks on the whole weekend. What in God's name did we do? Oh yeah. We went to a crawfish boil with some of his school friends.

Then we went to a party with some of my school friends. It was great to see some people again I haven't seen all semester and lovely of my classmate to host it. Hi, classmate, if you're reading. I want that tomatilla salsa recipe.

We got up on Sunday morning and prepared to head out to Jazz Fest for our fourth year in a row, which is kind of mindboggling. I enjoyed snapping some photos on our walk through the neighborhood on our way in.

The thing about Jazz Fest is that it's really awesome but it's usually really hot. It's dirty, a lot of the people are annoying, and for every annoying person, there are dirty feet in flip flops. And yesterday all of those thousands and thousands of dirty feet surrounding me at every turn got to me. That and the heat. Other than that, I was glad to be there. The Raconteurs were great, even though I know none of their music. But Jack White is a real rock star and it was cool to be in his presence. Then we saw the Neville Brothers play together in New Orleans for the first time since Katrina, which was awesome. The announcer who introduced them talked about how the people of New Orleans are a family and how this was a big family reunion, and the people around us screamed and held their Miller Lite cans proudly up in the air in salute. Then we took our dirty, sweaty selves out of there. Before the Fest, we ate a very yummy lunch of salads and spicy tomato paste on pita triangles at Fellini's, where we hadn't been in ages, and that was lovely. B. and I sure have had some good meals together.

Speaking of meals, I stopped on the way home from work today to pick up some Thai food over which to enjoy last week's Battlestar Galactica. Unfortunately, the bag broke just as I exited the car in my driveway, and my food splattered on the concrete. Needless to say that is not where I wanted my food to end up. But I guess there's no sense crying over spilled cashew chicken. B. shared his red curry with me instead, and we just finished the episode. All I have to say is that this show just keeps getting weirder and weirder, and I love it.

Life is tiring sometimes, but I'm glad to be alive.

Needles & Nicola

I’m getting a little sick of the needles, to tell you the truth. One arm got stuck with a tetanus shot and one with a meningitis vaccine, and OW. They both hurt like they were hit with a billy club. I can barely lift either of them. I think it’s getting a little better, but I am a side sleeper, and I haven’t been able to sleep on my side for the past two nights, and that makes me unhappy indeed. And this morning I got a TB skin test, which wasn’t too bad but also not what I’d call a delight.

I reread I Capture the Castle recently, and it was as wonderful as ever. I lifted my boycott of the movie and actually bought it since neither Netflix nor my local video store carries it. I was really skeptical of Romola Garai as Cassandra after realizing she was the lead in Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights, but then I found out that she played the friend in Vanity Fair and I remembered liking that performance, so I gave it a go. I was really interested in seeing Bill Nighy as Mortmain, and that was what cinched the deal when it came to my viewing of the movie. Here are some random thoughts: Marc Blucas has no charisma. He never has, and I doubt he ever will. I could not stand him on Buffy, and he was certainly not as dashing and semi-devilish as I always pictured Neil to be. But he was okay. Not terrible. Handsome, but blandly. Not exactly a nuanced performance. As for Henry Thomas as Simon – in the book it’s pointed out that since Neil is from California and Simon is from the East Coast, they speak differently – and Henry Thomas does definitely sort of speak in a very refined and proper way. It’s kind of annoying, I have to say. I really, REALLY loved him in Legends of the Fall (it’s true) and God knows he was a genius in ET – seriously (watch his ET audition here – it’s sort of devastating) – but he did not do a whole lot for me as Simon. I remember being confused in the book as to why Rose and Cassandra were so horrified by his beard – I always thought, what is the big deal about having a beard? But in the movie, it is clear why they were horrified. As I told mo pie already, it is a heinous, hideous goatee. Maybe it turns out that I just kind of hate the character of Simon and think he is unworthy of either Cassandra or Rose. Topaz was not like I pictured her, but the actress was good so I got over it. Rose Byrne was actually excellent as Rose and cried and emoted very well, but I was pretty distracted by her wig. Cassandra was very well played by Garai. Bill Nighy as Mortmain – well. I’m just not sure. I guess I liked him. I think Stephen is supposed to be blond. The book says that he sometimes has a daft look about him, so I pictured him sort of as a Chris Klein type. He’s got brown hair in the movie, and the actor playing him does a nice job.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the movie. So I sat down to watch the commentary, and that made me like it more. It made it clear that the film was very lovingly adapted, cast, and made by people who were definitely aware of the magic of the book and how deeply it is loved. So – I am going to give it a thumbs up. No movie based on this book could ever truly do it justice, but this one is a respectable effort. The castle and the scenery alone make it worth watching, I think.

Meanwhile, The Best of Youth is a good six-hour Italian movie if ever there was one, but my boyfriend’s hard drive died while we were watching it on an airplane so part of me will never forgive Matteo and Nicola for that. The computer place said his data=irretrievable so they replaced the hard drive. We still might try Drivesavers or something per Amanda Page’s suggestion because I refuse to give up hope yet. Meanwhile, he can’t get his iPod to sync up or whatever you call it now that the new hard drive is in. His iBook is from 2005 (or something) and the newer versions of iTunes are screwing it up. Like, his relatively new shuffle needs one of the newer versions of iTunes, but only older versions are simpatico with his operating system? I feel like I am speaking a foreign language so I might not be using the right words. I am not exactly sure what the problem is. Has anyone ever dealt with this before?

Meanwhile, my new favorite bookcase:

It's early and the ants are excited

Thanks for all the ant advice. Yesterday I tried baking soda, boiling water, Comet, the hose, the blower, and even a little bit of ant spray over a little teeming mound of eggs and ants I found under the tip of an old dog towel that was hanging off the edge of a chair and resting on the ground. I've found four mounds so far, and those are all desecrated and abandoned as far as I can tell. I actually used a strong liquid soap on them last week and voila! Sadly, I think I'm going to have to go the chemical route. I pulled up a little patch of grass where the patio has not been edged in a while -- like a flap of grass that has overgrown the edge -- and I almost fainted. There were seventy-seven million of them. I think my tame ways might need some professional help. I'm calling my cat-loving bug man this afternoon and asking him which he thinks is the best of the suggestions you wise and kind people gave me or if he has any of his own. I assume his cat love spills over into dog love.

If these ants did not bite or swarm the dog food bowls, I might not be so freaked out. But I have horrible images of the dogs standing in a pile or interrupting one of their marches (back again this morning, I might add) and being taken down by a thousand of them while I'm not here to watch over them. But then, I am an overly anxious person so hopefully this will not actually happen.

Meanwhile, I've been spending a lot of time with my oldest and dearest girlfriends this week. One of them recently moved away from New York City for the first time since 2000. We've been talking about Top 40 songs a lot lately. We're both very fond of Rihanna's "Umbrella," for example. Yesterday she asked me, "Have you ever heard a song that goes something like, 'everyone knows I'm in over my head, over my head?" I looked at her and said, "Um, yeah? Where have you been?" She said, "In New York! Without a car or a car radio!" Now that she has one, it's like the world has opened up to her again. It's like she's been in a radio coma. It amuses me.

I don't know what else to say except I have to go to work now. Meanwhile, does anyone happen to know the origin of this quote: "I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats"? This mystery is driving me almost as crazy as the ants.

Ants

I have some very determined ants marching one by one (literally) on my brick patio. They march in a line and I don't know where they're going. They seem to be marching in either direction. Big ones, small ones, ones carrying white balls. Are these eggs? Gross.

I've managed to wipe out a few piles, but they will not go away. I know I could blast them with ant killing spray, but since my dogs spend a lot of time out in the yard, I don't want to use anything that could be harmful to them. I thought the ants were attracted to the dog food, so I stopped feeding the dogs outside about a week ago, but still they swarm. And I worry that it's only a matter of time before they start marching into the house.

Does anyone know of something that will kill the ants and not hurt the dogs?

Thanks.

Bright side

In other news ...

I'd like to recommend glamscience. There was shipping mix-up with my order, and the artist was gracious and accommodating. And her stuff is very cute, particularly this shirt that the universe deemed needed to be possessed by Jessie's daughter. Check it out.

As for the non-race parts of the weekend ... on Friday night, I had dinner with three girlfriends. We had a pretty good time if you don't count my very pregnant friend's increasing discomfort and my inability to stop staring inappropriately at my other friend's once small boobs.

I left early the next morning for the big city, where I was treated with homemade Maryland-style crab soup and homemade bread and salad (all delicious) along with a surprise stack of early birthday gifts! So that was really great.

Then ... I can't remember what we did. Oh! We went to see the Anne Frank exhibit, which was disappointing. I cannot recommend it because it was basically pages from a history book enlarged and hung on big banners and that was it. I guess I was spoiled by the exhibit at the Imperial War Museum on the Holocaust, otherwise known as possibly one of the best exhibits ever created on planet Earth, but this one was boring and not even worth going to. It saddens me to say that, but there it is.

Then we went to Bourbon Street to see my brother playing a long daytime gig with some of his friends in a band. As always, he was great, and the energy was fantastic even though the crowd was full of cheesy tourists dancing their hearts out to "Small Town" by John Cougar Mellencamp like it's the most happiness-inducing song known to man.

After that, we basically rested. We tried to have Italian pasta for dinner but had no luck so we ended up having Chinese pasta, which was pretty good if possibly not the most ideal thing to eat before a race. We started All the King's Men, which is just not good at all. "This movie does not do justice to a beautiful book!" I proclaimed. "It is shameful." So we turned it off and went to bed early because we had to get up at the crack of dawn for the race the next morning.

After the race, we ate a lot of leftovers and started a game of Scrabble and listened to The Darkness because it seemed like triumphant music and we were feeling pretty triumphant. I basically started passing out at the table once the feeling shifted from triumph to I Must Be Lying Down Right Now, so we retired for a nap. I burrowed under the fleece sheets for an undetermined period of time like a zombie, and then we finished our game and I went home, where I couldn't even stay up for half of the Oscars. (Luckily Kymm stayed awake to recap them for me.)

I might not have liked All the King's Men, but I did like Shut Up and Sing. What a great documentary. I've always liked the Dixie Chicks but haven't been a diehard fan or anything. It was great to see them win those Grammys recently (even though I felt their acceptance speeches were lacking), and the viewing of this movie could not be more timely after that awards night because it makes their sweeping victory seem so much more meaningful because you see what came before that album and all that went into writing those songs and how their future was totally uncertain and their careers and lives were re-written. It is a really great behind-the-scenes look at the music industry, the publicity industry, and how they were professionally and personally affected by the aftermath of Natalie Maines' comment that they are ashamed that that the president is from Texas. Plus, you can't help but be reminded when watching it that they are talented beyond belief. I highly recommend this one.

Meanwhile, I thought my birthday gift to myself was running the race, but I guess in actuality it's a new plumbing line. Oh, joy. The leak detection company came over this morning and found my leak by shooting air into the line, which I think made it worse, for what was once an invisible leak is now erupting in my front yard like a small geyser and flowing down the sidewalk to the end of the street. I got two plumbing estimates this morning and settled on one that seems reasonable for replacing my line between the water meter and my house, jackhammering the driveway, and re-paving the driveway once it's blown to smithereens. [That would be 1,100 big, beautiful dollars that I was hoping to spend on (a) car repairs or (b) airfare to some place pretty and far, far away on a yet-to-be-planned vacation.]

This picture does not even begin to capture the bubbly ferociousness of this leak. Oh, well. At least it's in the yard and not underneath my actual house. Bright side!

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, well fine

There are a couple of new thirtysomething episodes up at YouTube. Post-Op, which is not one of my favorites, and Happy New Year, which totally IS. And as a bonus, it features Louis DiMucci as Peter Montefiore (singing, no less). A really excellent episode all around, really, with tons going on with each character. The perfect combination of grown-ups and kids, quiet and loud, happy and sad. With a little James Joyce thrown in for good measure. It is really strange, watching it again, how familiar it is, how I can recite so many of the lines. I have really spent an inordinate number of hours in my life watching thirtysomething. And my life has been all the better for it! I swear.

American Experience: New Orleans airs Monday night on PBS. Check your local listings for times. I've never seen an American Experience I didn't like, and I have high hopes for this one.

I enjoyed reading Pajiba's take on the best tearjerking moments of recent years. I think I've seen all of the ones they list. I'll have to think about my own favorite tearjerking moments. I was glad to see In America mentioned because I loved that movie, but when watching the scene again, I was reminded that I didn't really get the last line. I still don't.

Anyway. I don't really know what else to say. It looks like I have a leak in my plumbing line, probably somewhere underneath my driveway. Next week the estimates from plumbers will begin. I don't want to blow all my savings on it. It can't be cheap to rip out a plumbing line and put in a new one and re-pave a driveway JESUS CHRIST. My sister advised me to get a zero interest credit card and pay for it with that rather than wipe out my savings. She is a financial guru so I tend to heed her advice on such matters. I am choosing not to think about it until the weekend is over.

Now I must prepare to eat lots of bread and garlic spread.

She dreamt of blue skies, soft breeze, and sunshine.

"The Word of Your Body" from Spring Awakening is one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a long time. My obsession with this musical continues.

I finished In the Family Way, Julia Sweeney's monologue about becoming a mom, and I loved it. It was hilarious and moving and made me think, just like Letting Go of God. I've added God Said, Ha! to the top of my Netflix queue.

I called the water company last week after receiving an eye-poppingly high bill, and they told me that two months ago I was using 5 water units and am now using 50. What? They said I must have a leak. I can't find a leak anywhere. I'm disturbed by this but don't really know what to do. I asked them to come out and double check my meter because they told me to check it and I couldn't find it. I'm pretty familiar with my own front yard. If I can't find it, how can they? How am I suddenly using 10 times my usual amount of water? What the hell? The only thing I can think of that is coinciding with this is the season of winter and an increase in the use of my heater, but what does my heater have to do with water? (It's a gas heater.) I have no idea. I certainly haven't been watering any plants or the yard as it's rained basically every day for weeks and weeks. I hope there is not an invisible leak that is rotting my house from the inside out.

The episode made me cry, and now this column is making me cry. (Warning: includes information about recent Grey's Anatomy episodes if you haven't seen them.)

And now for a weekend update. On Friday night, we ate delicious corn chowder with tomatoes and basil and a kickass salad and homemade bread all cooked by my gifted and talented boyfriend, and we started Sherrybaby, which we finished the next day. (Gyllenhaal is of course great in it, but it's very depressing, and the love scenes were unbearably uncomfortable to watch.) We went to the gym instead of the park for our long runs because it was pouring down rain outside (as usual). He ran 10.6 miles in the blink of an eye, and I, like the wind (ha), ran 8 in a little under 2 hours. I was supposed to run 10, but I didn't really have the time because we had plans. Even if I'd had time, I probably wouldn't have run 10 anyway. That number holds too many icky associations after last week's horrid run. Running 8 miles on the treadmill was surprisingly not terrible, mostly because for the first time I ran on a treadmill with the little built-in fans. I am going to request that my own gym get those immediately because they honestly made all the difference in the world for me.

After our runs, we rushed on creaky legs to the matinee of Pan's Labyrinth, which was much scarier, grosser, more violent, and more disturbing than I'd anticipated -- but also much, much more fantastic than I thought it would be! This movie is beautifully done and thought-provoking and totally, totally moving, and the little girl in it, Ivana Baquero, is SO good. I was thinking that if the Academy wanted to nominate a child this year, she should have been the one (my love for Abigail Breslin notwithstanding), but then I figured that this would have had to go in the lead category which is already too crowded as it is. So whatever. But she was unbelievably good and impressive. The whole thing was so delicious and sad and amazing and everyone should see it with the understanding that you might have to cover your eyes sometimes if you're squeamish and it might possibly sometimes scare the bejesus out of you. This is definitely the best movie I've seen in 2007.

After the movie was dinner (pizza and beer and conversation) and dessert (he had the chestnut, and I had strawberry and chocolate chip). Yum.

On Sunday, we went to the French bakery for an oat bran muffin, a raspberry pastry, and the newspaper. We then went to Whole Foods and spent $1 million on a handful of items which is just what you do there, and I finally got some of this (in Cocoa) because Maryelizabeth has been singing its praises for weeks now. It is in fact very nice. Soon I hope to order this because both she and Shelley think it's God's gift and I think I need to take better care of my skin. It's just so dry (yet also oily!) that I fear I am going to turn into an old lady any moment now. We played a game of Scrabble and ate leftovers, and I headed home to visit my friend's new baby and do a big grocery shopping trip at Target, where I returned the peanuts that B. was eating merrily last weekend when a spider came out of the jar along with the nuts. It was sort of like something out of Pan's Labyrinth, actually.

And then I took a bath and ate more leftovers and watched Battlestar Galactica and that was my weekend. Oh, I also watched the SAG Awards and cried when Miranda Bailey won and during the entire Julie Andrews tribute. (P.S. Anne Hathaway looked gorgeous.) This video is for my sister, who, thankfully, like Janey Glenn after she fictitiously almost spun to death at gymnastics tryouts, is HOME, SAFE, and ALIVE.

Caulking Chaos

I watched Six Degrees last week; I won't watch it again. I found it irritating even though I really like Jay Hernandez, Hope Davis, and especially Campbell Scott. Brothers and Sisters didn't do it for me at all, so I'm also scratching that one off the list.

It's strange how little TV I'm watching this season. Studio 60 (I liked it A LOT), Veronica Mars when it starts, Gray's Anatomy, The Office, and Battlestar Galactica when it starts. Oh, and I'm still recording and watching The View every day just because Rosie makes me happy. I've found that watching really good TV makes me much less tolerant of TV that falls short of my judgment of what's excellent. You know? After barreling through the second half of season two of Battlestar, I'm thinking about it so much that last night I dreamt that Lee Adama got onstage drunk and sang "Shiksa Goddess" from The Last Five Years. It's penetrated my psyche in that deep and bizarre a way. (Don't read the rest of this paragraph if you don't want to be spoiled.) There were a few episodes in this batch that I thought were downright lame (especially the one about Apollo and the hooker) (and I wasn't crazy about the one about Scar) (and don't even get me started on my intense dislike of the Apollo / Dualla "relationship"), but there were parts that knocked my socks off. I lay on the couch and wept during the scene described here. Tears dripped off my face onto the throw pillow. It was just one of the finest things I've ever seen. I LOVE THIS SHOW. And I cannot wait for October 6.

I had a lot on my plate this weekend. My boyfriend worked each day, so I vowed to be productive. Friday night, I cleaned my house and went grocery shopping. On Saturday morning, I took my filthy dogs to the vet for a bath, went shopping for do-it-myself supplies, went on my "long" run for the week (38 minutes around the neighborhood), picked up the dogs, and prepared dinner. He arrived, and we went to the coffee shop and had muffins, coffee, a walnut rugelach, and some frozen lemonade and played a game of Scrabble during which he almost broke 400 points and I broke 300, so it was a good game. That night, we ate this pasta and this salad, and YUM. (Note: I made the pasta sauces in advance as suggested; I only used one tablespoon of chile paste in the pasta instead of two and it was still very spicy; I used orange juice concentrate instead of Grand Marnier because a bottle of it costs $35; the salad dressing is extremely thick, but do not be frightened; and I toasted the almonds first because I think that brings out their flavor much more. Both were great recipes, I thought.) We went out to a show that night where there were lots of young manorexic boys with beards and tight t-shirts and ate vanilla ice cream with strawberries and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

On Sunday, I re-caulked my bathtub. Which was my do-it-myself project to end all do-it-myself projects. My old caulk was nothing short of disgusting, and I figured, how hard could it be? I'll tell you how hard it was. It was very freaking hard. The old caulk was misery to scrape off despite using a gel that is erroneously labeled as a caulk "remover" (HA!), my weird carpal tunnely knuckle that had been doing so much better turned the size and color of a plum, and I probably did permanent damage to both the tile and the tub by scraping like a complete out of control lunatic. Once I scraped off all I could scrape (the caulk between the tub and the floor was particularly un-scrape-able because it was all mixed in with the cement grout of the ceramic floor tile -- horrible), I sprayed everything with Tilex, let that set for a while, and scrubbed everything with a toothbrush until I felt like all of my fingers were going to become dislocated. I let that dry for a few hours with a fan and then set forth with the caulking gun, thinking that nothing could be more difficult than the preparation. Right? Wrong. So very wrong.

I wanted only a very small hole in the top of the caulk tube, but I had to keep cutting it bigger and bigger in order to reach the top of the canister so it could be pierced with a nail. Even when using a really long nail, I had to go down so far that my hole, instead of being pencil-sized, was more like dime-sized. Yeah. It was so big that the caulk was flowing out of the tube when I wasn't even squeezing the gun, so I had to hold it between my legs upright and wipe it with a paper towel constantly or it would spew forth like a tube of toothpaste that was being stepped on. So much caulk gooped out when I was dispensing it around the tub that smoothing the line was just ... unholy. Nightmarish. I'm not even sure that I made good seals. I got silicone caulk all over myself, all over the tiles, all over the bathtub. I even got it on my glasses. And I forgot to fill the tub with water, which supposedly you're supposed to do, until I was almost finished. So I just filled it then and hoped for the best. In short, I've decided that time is more valuable than money and that I would have rather paid someone $1,000 to do this job and do it right, and then I could have spent my Sunday sitting at the coffee shop with my new book from the beautiful Grace that I already love instead of undertaking this monstrous project. Do-It-Myself -- I'm over it. Never again. Never again.

I finished All the King's Men, and it's exquisite. (No spoilers to follow.) It's wordy and sometimes rambly and takes a long time to get where it's going, but when it gets there, whoa. It's fantastic. It's strange because once I got really into it, I stopped thinking about how it's based on my state and true history and just got into it as a mighty fine book. This book is as much about ideas as it is about action, and I liked the ideas a lot. Jack Burden can be very annoying, and sometimes you just want to tell him to shut up and get to the point already, but the way he, as a narrator, contemplates life and goodness and sin and the past and the future is sublime. I highly recommend this book. It didn't win the Pulitzer Prize for nothing. (Read what the ever-wise mo pie thought about it here.) (Also spoiler-free.) I haven't seen the movie yet; the reviews have not been promising. Fred Willard, who was Roeper's guest reviewer this week, gave it two thumbs up, though! And if it's okay by Ron Albertson, it's probably okay by me.

(Here's a link to the article in The New Yorker profiling David Milch and featuring quite a bit about his relationship with Robert Penn Warren. In it, Milch says, "Mr. Warren spread out pretty much all the literary artifacts of American culture for me to study, as part of my working for him on that history of American literature. And in that I found the refraction, the perspective that I needed, to give me access to play the cards that I'd been dealt." Fascinating! Fascinating.)

As for running, I've come to my senses and have decided to forego training for a marathon and train for a half-marathon instead, along with a few friends. It still seems like an impossible distance for me right now, but it seems less impossible than a marathon would be. As my sister said wisely, half-marathon training doesn't take over your whole life like marathon training does, and the distance is a great achievement while still being short enough that it does not make you feel like dying when you are doing it. And I'm all for that. So ... I'm going to finish up one-hour-runner (I'm starting week 6 now) and then figure out when I should start officially training for the half-marathon. Woo! My mom, as she did when I told her I was training for a 5K, sort of laughed disbelievingly, like she was humoring me, like, "...okay. Good luck with that." Not in a mean way, just in an "I'm so sure, I'll believe it when I see it, for I know you, my lazy child," sort of a way. But I will show her! I will. I will show everyone. Most of all me.