Emmy ramble

Let me just say first and foremost that I am in love with Neil Patrick Harris. I have been in love with him since he was Doogie. I never missed an episode. I saw him standing outside the Nederlander in the summer of 1997. He was with Christine Taylor and they kissed on the lips. I loved that he loved Dr. Will on Big Brother. I love him as Barney. I love him as Dr. Horrible. I love him as himself. I LOVE HIM. That this Emmy telecast will be so all NPH, all the time means it might be the best ever, and I'm not even joking.

Super cute opening number. His voice is lovely. (Here he is singing in another white tuxedo many, many, many years ago.)

My favorite reaction shot so far is the redheaded waitress on True Blood sitting next to her husband, Benjamin Linus!

COMEDY

Comedy montage! The opening for the montage was really too long! The fire alarm scene on The Office was the funniest of all of these by far.

Presenters: Tina Fey & Jon Hamm. They both look pretty. It is hard to look pretty next to Jon Hamm. He is so stunning. And funny. And beautiful. Wow. Supporting actress in a comedy! Kristen Chenoweth has on weird 2009 glasses. I don't care for Jane Krakowski on 30 Rock. Elizabeth Perkins: also weird glasses. Amy Poehler: patch! Kristin Wiig: Lens thingie. Vanessa Williams: not playing with the props. WINNER: Kristen Chenoweth: SHOCKING. I am shocked to the max. She is a tiny little mouse and she's crying really hard. She'd like to be on Mad Men and The Office and 24. She's shaking and thanking her producers and cast and manager. She thinks NPH rocks. She looks gorgeous. Thanks the academy for recognizing a show that is no longer on the air. I did love you, Pushing Daisies. She hugs Tina Fey enthusiastically and leans on her on the way out. Tina Fey is a full head, if not more, taller than she is.

Cat Deeley is there! This makes every show better! Gorgeous and classy as always!

John Hodgman is also there. Another bonus! NPH is very amused by John Hodgman.

Presenters: NPH's co-stars on HIMYM! All of whom look great! Oh, Willow Rosenberg & Nick Andopolis, I love you forever. Writing for a comedy series! 30 Rock wins for Reunion, which was definitely a very funny episode. This guy Matt Hubbard looks very young.

Presenters: Julie Louis-Dreyfus & Amy Poehler! Supporting actor in a comedy. Cryer, Dillon, NPH (next to his beautiful BF), McBrayer, Morgan, Wilson. If NPH does not win I am GOING TO BE PISSED! Jon Cryer, oh for heaven's sake.

NPH is back, being adorable. The host lost. He is giving himself a pep talk and saying it's not awkward. Justin Timberlake is now onstage with very dark hair and thick-rimmed glasses. Justin Timberlake is a dreamboat. There, I said it. Lead actress in a comedy: Applegate (I love her, and I loved Samantha Who), Colette, Fey, Louis-Dreyfus, Parker, Silverman. Colette! Timberlake sounds suprised! She is beautiful but her tan is atrocious. I'm sorry, Toni, but it's true.

NPH! Congratulating Jon Cryer. And interviewing him in the press room! They are being cute.

Presenters: Serena & Blair in some crazy dresses. Serena's dress is basically obscene and Blair is way more gorgeous normally than she looks tonight. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Guest actress & guest actor in comedy series. Tina Fey (as Palin) & Justin Timberlake (overall SNL wunderkind) won! Sexy Back is playing! As it should. She is saying that Justin would still be very famous and very rich without Lorne Michaels, but she wouldn't be, so thanks Lorne Michaels. They are adorbs. Director in a comedy: Someone for The Office. The band version of the theme song is kind of weird. It was a really funny episode, so yay.

Presenter: Rob Lowe. A little too tan but still gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Although I never think it's very nice to say that you turned a show down because it reminds whoever got the part that he wasn't the first choice. Are we talking about Dempsey here? Well, he's really the only one who could be McDreamy, I think -- he's just so rumply and wounded in a way that Rob Lowe could never be. Honestly I just miss Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborn. A lot. Lead actor in a comedy! I really want Steve Carell to win. But Alec Baldwin will. And so he does. He says he'd trade his Emmy to look like Rob Lowe! Which is very funny! And probably what every other man in the room (and possibly world) is thinking.

REALITY

Reality montage: I am enjoying this montage more than I can possibly say, maybe just because I love Britney's "Circus" so much. Even though I wish there were more SYTYCD. Poor Maksim & Karina just called off their engagement and now they have to dance together. Horrifying. For them. Great for us.

Presenters: Jon Cryer & Hayden Panettiere. Both of whom bore me. Reality host! Cat Deeley should be nominated. I would like Phil to win. But I agree with Linda Holmes that Tom Bergeron deserves it the most. Just say no to Probst. PROBST WINS. Oh, gag me. I agree with everything Linda said about this category. But he complimented NPH, which earns him points in my book. He is honored to be the face of Survivor. Barf? He is quoting Joseph Campbell. I can't deal with him. Next!

Presenter: Tracy Morgan. Makes me laugh. No matter what he says. Best reality show: Amazing Race always wins and that is because it is the best! I wish there were a special award for best reality contestant so Adam Lambert could win. Because he's clearly what made AI good this year and nothing else.

(I had to talk on the phone for a little while.)

Okay, Brendan Gleeson just won for playing Churchill. And I just want to take this opportunity to encourage the world to watch his amazing performance in In Bruges, a wonderful movie that is very brutal and violent and somehow manages to also be quite touching and utterly funny and weird and wonderful. I could not love it (or him in it) more. I loved seeing how enthusiastically his fellow Irishman Gabriel Byrne applauded for him. Yay!

Skipping some stuff! The accountants! Interrupted by Dr. Horrible! Hijacking the Emmys. It's a beautiful thing. Which much of the audience is not going to understand at all. But I don't care. And he just got punched by Dr. Hammer! Who is being hilarious! And there's Moist! And Penny! This is kind of good to be true. I can't even explain it. You've got to see it. And get Dr. Horrible today, if you haven't seen it. What are you waiting for?

Jessica Lange wins for Grey Gardens. I am scared to see what she looks like. Her eyes look a little weird, they really do, but over all, I'm very happy for her. My sister and I once followed her into a restaurant bathroom. She seems genuinely touched and surprised. I love Drew Barrymore. And I love that she is back with Justin Long.

VARIETY

(Missed this part!)

Jimmy Fallon running around with his voice like T-Pain. Steve Carell is laughing very, very hard. Jimmy Fallon is funny. I've never seen his late night show but his appearance locally in like 2001 made me laugh a lot. I LOVE THIS SONG FROM THE COLBERT CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. I watched it over & over and laughed/cried every time. I really hope it wins. I had forgotten about this Timberlake ESPY performance. He really can do anything. I hated Motherlover & hope it does not win. Well, Hugh Jackman's opening number took it. I can deny Hugh nothing, so good for him. (Even though he will never ever be better than he was in the Tony opening number of 2004, to which I will now link for the 47th time.)

Ricky Gervais! I love him. I hate that hideous tux but I love him. He makes everything better.

(Okay, this is when I stopped typing for the most part. A few miscellaneous remarks as follows.)

I loved Patrick Swayze as Orry Main before I loved him as Johnny Castle. That clip made me teary. (I realize North & South was ridiculous, but I was 10 years old and I LOVED IT.)

Wish they'd figured out a way for Stephen Moyer to lapse into Bill voice and say "SOOKIE!" while presenting.

Not impressed by how Matthew Weiner basically ditched his co-writer while running to stage.

Peggy's clip was monumentally spoilery for those who haven't started Mad Men yet but intend to. Oh well!

I love you, Gabriel Byrne.

(And that's all I wrote. I remain completely in love with Neil Patrick Harris and am so glad he is shining his light all over Hollywood and the world. Eliza out!)