Thoughts while watching Twilight DVD
We might need to have a conversation about this movie. (I'm about 1/2-way through it, and I had to sit down and write down these thoughts!)
Here are my thoughts:
(1) I think the studio, or whoever's in charge, made the RIGHT decision in not letting the same woman direct the upcoming movies. There is a lot wrong with this movie, but I think the buck stops with her. It is just so weird, overdone, cheesy, and weirdly paced in every possible way.
(2) I feel like this movie is almost a parody of the book. Clearly the book is ridiculous in its own way, but I don't really think this movie does it justice, if that's possible.
(3) The music is boring.
(4) The diamond skin glistening up on the mountain was shoddily done and RIDIC.
(5) Kristen Stewart, whom I have seen really shine and be excellent in other things (Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak, Into the Wild), must have (I can only assume) realized this project was not going to be very well done because she totally phones in every moment she's on screen.
(6) I cannot imagine seeing this in a theater without everyone bursting out laughing the entire time. Is that what happened?
(7) OH NO, now they are lying in the grass staring at each other and the camera is spinning around them in slow circles and he started to diamond glisten again! I want to die.
(8) Thank God I have this leftover Irish soda bread to keep me company or I think I would not be able to take it.
(9) Bella's narration is lame and unnecessary. I guess they thought it was needed to fill in blanks as far as Bella's thoughts, but everything she says is obvious and things the audience would know anyway. LAME.
(10) With the exception of Jessica, whom I thought was good, the casting of the rest of the friends crowd was piss-poor. Wasn't Michael supposed to be a really nice guy? He is totally a dork here and so embarrassing to watch. (He played the nerdy brother on Joan of Arcadia and was much better on that.) I BLAME THE DIRECTOR.
(11) The part when Carlisle bites Edward's neck in 1918 was a little too erotic for children's viewing in my opinion.
(12) The analogy of vampires living on animals to humans living on tofu -- they are never fully satisfied -- must have pissed off a lot of vegetarians/vegans. Tofu is totally satisfying if you know how to cook it! I'm just saying.
(13) I do understand the love of Edward Cullen because the actor is very handsome, that cannot be denied, and he's sometimes funny when he's not being SUPER ANGSTY. I also like imagining his English accent in real life.
(14) I feel bad for the actors who play Edward and Bella because they are now super famous, have to promote the movie all over the place, and clearly sort of hate it, and now they are in it for the long haul. I wonder if they knew what they were getting into? Why am I overthinking this so much?
(15) The Harry Potter movies are a lot better.
(16) When are they going to make out?!?!? JEEZ! (She declared she is unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him, but no making out yet.)
(17) When the vampire sister broke the salad bowl when Edward said Bella already ate, that was FUNNY and the best part so far!
(A little later ...)
(18) It got better once they kissed.
(19) Once the bad vampires showed up during the ridiculous baseball scene, the whole movie got so much better.
(20) I liked the ballet school fight scene.
(And ... I'm done.)
(21) I don't really understand how we, are an audience, are supposed to buy into Bella & Edward as an epic love story.
(22) I don't even really think the movie shows how / when they fell in love. Was it when they were flying through the trees? If not, when?
(23) Also, didn't Jacob have a bigger part in the book? He is barely in the movie. So weird! He just shows up at the end to tell her to break up with Edward and then glares at Edward real hard. What?
(24) I really really really want to hear your thoughts on this movie! I feel like it just wasn't good. I don't think it did a good service to the fans of the book.
(25) What are the public's impressions of the film? Did the fans love it? Hate it? Love to hate it?
(26) Perhaps the most burning question of all is why Bella was allowed to wear that hideous maw-maw sweater over her prom dress? WTF!!!!!!!!!!
(27) ALSO, and I think this is my major beef: I don't think this sends a very good message to young girls. Why would a girl want to DIE in order to be a VAMPIRE just so could she would be with her boyfriend forever? This is twisted, un-feminist, and fucked up.
Thoughts?
Here are my thoughts:
(1) I think the studio, or whoever's in charge, made the RIGHT decision in not letting the same woman direct the upcoming movies. There is a lot wrong with this movie, but I think the buck stops with her. It is just so weird, overdone, cheesy, and weirdly paced in every possible way.
(2) I feel like this movie is almost a parody of the book. Clearly the book is ridiculous in its own way, but I don't really think this movie does it justice, if that's possible.
(3) The music is boring.
(4) The diamond skin glistening up on the mountain was shoddily done and RIDIC.
(5) Kristen Stewart, whom I have seen really shine and be excellent in other things (Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak, Into the Wild), must have (I can only assume) realized this project was not going to be very well done because she totally phones in every moment she's on screen.
(6) I cannot imagine seeing this in a theater without everyone bursting out laughing the entire time. Is that what happened?
(7) OH NO, now they are lying in the grass staring at each other and the camera is spinning around them in slow circles and he started to diamond glisten again! I want to die.
(8) Thank God I have this leftover Irish soda bread to keep me company or I think I would not be able to take it.
(9) Bella's narration is lame and unnecessary. I guess they thought it was needed to fill in blanks as far as Bella's thoughts, but everything she says is obvious and things the audience would know anyway. LAME.
(10) With the exception of Jessica, whom I thought was good, the casting of the rest of the friends crowd was piss-poor. Wasn't Michael supposed to be a really nice guy? He is totally a dork here and so embarrassing to watch. (He played the nerdy brother on Joan of Arcadia and was much better on that.) I BLAME THE DIRECTOR.
(11) The part when Carlisle bites Edward's neck in 1918 was a little too erotic for children's viewing in my opinion.
(12) The analogy of vampires living on animals to humans living on tofu -- they are never fully satisfied -- must have pissed off a lot of vegetarians/vegans. Tofu is totally satisfying if you know how to cook it! I'm just saying.
(13) I do understand the love of Edward Cullen because the actor is very handsome, that cannot be denied, and he's sometimes funny when he's not being SUPER ANGSTY. I also like imagining his English accent in real life.
(14) I feel bad for the actors who play Edward and Bella because they are now super famous, have to promote the movie all over the place, and clearly sort of hate it, and now they are in it for the long haul. I wonder if they knew what they were getting into? Why am I overthinking this so much?
(15) The Harry Potter movies are a lot better.
(16) When are they going to make out?!?!? JEEZ! (She declared she is unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him, but no making out yet.)
(17) When the vampire sister broke the salad bowl when Edward said Bella already ate, that was FUNNY and the best part so far!
(A little later ...)
(18) It got better once they kissed.
(19) Once the bad vampires showed up during the ridiculous baseball scene, the whole movie got so much better.
(20) I liked the ballet school fight scene.
(And ... I'm done.)
(21) I don't really understand how we, are an audience, are supposed to buy into Bella & Edward as an epic love story.
(22) I don't even really think the movie shows how / when they fell in love. Was it when they were flying through the trees? If not, when?
(23) Also, didn't Jacob have a bigger part in the book? He is barely in the movie. So weird! He just shows up at the end to tell her to break up with Edward and then glares at Edward real hard. What?
(24) I really really really want to hear your thoughts on this movie! I feel like it just wasn't good. I don't think it did a good service to the fans of the book.
(25) What are the public's impressions of the film? Did the fans love it? Hate it? Love to hate it?
(26) Perhaps the most burning question of all is why Bella was allowed to wear that hideous maw-maw sweater over her prom dress? WTF!!!!!!!!!!
(27) ALSO, and I think this is my major beef: I don't think this sends a very good message to young girls. Why would a girl want to DIE in order to be a VAMPIRE just so could she would be with her boyfriend forever? This is twisted, un-feminist, and fucked up.
Thoughts?
posted by eliza @ 6:17 PM
14 Comments:
The author's a Mormon?
I feel like the movie was a parody as well. There was a scene or two where there was actual chemistry... like when she's watching her car and he jumps down on it. If the movie had more moments like that it would've been so much more believable.
Also, the scene in the chemistry lab was so pathetically acted (when he acted like she stunk)... it kind of amazed me how bad it was.
And as a lover of the books, it was a joke.
I was not really a fan of the first book. My book club read it shortly before the movie came out and about 20 people showed up (extra visitors) to hash it out. I warned them if we read #2 ever, I was going to read the synopsis on Wikipedia and call it good.
I'm sure you've seen the Cleolinda recaps by now, right?
Also, many of same bookclub members caught a viewing of the movie together. There may or may not have been mini-bottles of vodka as a coping mechanism and/or hilarious bursts of laughter throughout.
Frankly, I was saddened we had hardly any teenagers in the audience but we did catch the showing in downtown Seattle two days after opening.
I love that you took notes.
I saw it in a nearly-empty cinema with four friends, on a matronly Sunday afternoon, and yeah, pretty much constant laughter.
The author's a Moron?
Love your entry!
I haven't read a single word of these books, because I imagined them to be pretty much as you describe the movie: overwrought and silly, with a messed-up message.
I might change my tune when my daughter is a tween and starts wanting to read them. But for now, I'm just saying no.
I haven't seen the movie, just read the books. But the thought I had when I was reading them was, "Man, I would have loved this when I was thirteen. But as an adult? Not so much.
I agree that the dying-for-the-boy idea is screwy, and not one I'd be really happy my daughter was into.
This post has been removed by the author.
(Sorry, comments acting weird.)
I guess the girl changing for the guy thing is nothing new. I mean, Sandy in Grease? Ariel in The Little Mermaid? These are just two that spring immediately to mind, but I am sure the list goes on and on and on and on. MADDENING.
I guess the whole Twilight phenom fascinates me on multiple levels. On the one hand, you've got the books, which have been embraced by young and old alike, much like Harry Potter. But I think the similarities basically end there, especially after finishing Harry: A History by Melissa Anelli, a really excellent look at the history of the HP phenom and fandom. It's kind of undeniable, right, that the HP books & movies are really good (some better than other, clearly) and (to me, anyway) are super entertaining while also teaching kids good things. They might not be the most well-written things in the world but they are certainly well-imagined. Maybe I am biased since I love them.
I guess I just don't think Twilight is even in the same category, the same universe, and I say this as someone who, while mocking it inwardly, could not put the first book down -- it was admittedly gripping even in all its ridiculousness.
On another hand, you've got this Twilight movie and the upcoming sequels. And there is just no getting around that the movie is Bad with a capital B. Maybe you can't make a good movie out of a bad book, but I don't necessarily think that's true.
And I really wish I know how the majority of the Twilight fan base really feels about it. It is it just campy and fun in a silly way, like something to laugh at when Edward starts sparkling? Or it something that young girls are really buying into on a serious level?
In my heart of hearts I wish they wouldn't go see any more of these movies and would just go buy themselves a nice box set of Buffy.
Okay, here is my take on the whole thing. My degree is English Lit, so I know that the books are NOT quality literature. That said, I really loved them in a "secret shame" kind of way. I did roll my eyes a few times, because, well, it is ridiculous. But I'll be damned if I couldn't stop reading. I think that Meyers, while not a good writer, is a really good storyteller and that's part of the popularity. That and I found there to be some really good sexual tension. So even though I did like the books (not all of them equally), it really embarrassed me to admit it considering the insanity of some of the die-hard fans.
So when the movie was being made and it kept being passed around studios, I knew that the Hollywood people did NOT have a clue how big the books were and the level of devotion of the fans. I knew the movie would make tons of $$$ but clearly they did not. And you can tell. I truly believe that the entire film was treated as a huge practical joke.
I went to the theater already cringing. I really wanted the movie not to suck, because then it wouldn't make liking the books so insulting to my intellect (lol), but, wow. The level of suckage surprised even my cynical expectations. I must of gone on a night with the die-hards, because my friends and I were having to stifle our laughter amidst screams and weeping the entire time. Ugh! The music, the lines, even the make-up and hair was TERRIBLE. Wow.
But so many of my friends who read the books and loved them...inexplicabley LOVED the movie. I don't get it. I guess their devotion has moved into "brainwashed" territory and they can't stand to say a bad thing about anything associated with the books.
So now that the movie has made gazillions of dollars, it will be interesting to see what happens. On the one hand, yay new director (but why not the screenwriter as well???). Yay big new movie budget. Yay Dakota Fanning (poor thing) for the respectability factor. But still Summit has now gone to treating the films as a joke to just a cash-cow as they are trying to pump out the films faster than McDonald's does Happy Meals.
I know I'll go see them all (rolling eyes), so we'll see. I'm really hoping that they totally rewrite the ending of the final book (which was BAD) for the film. I mean, the basic premise has potential, so if Hollywood wanted to, they could turn it into something really good (I mean, HELLO, can you not find ONE good screenwriter out of the thousands that are surely looking for work right now?), but I'm sure they won't.
Anelie, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
My 2 BFFs and I were discussing this just last night over dinner because apparently it's the topic that will not die. I haven't read through book four, but they have, and they are right there with you with the badness of the ending of book four (and maybe all of book four in general). They know the books better than I do and think that they got progressively more ridiculous as they went on even though the first one had a decent story, or at least the spark of a good idea, behind it.
I totally agree with you that the movie could have and should have been better. With all that money behind it and the many talented people in Hollywood, there's just no excuse! I am now crossing over into weird obsession territory when it comes to my analysis of the badness of this movie. I will definitely see the second one just to see if they can turn things around.
I kind of wish I would have seen this in the theater if only to have witnessed the tween screams, weeping, and rending of garments.
The only reason I didn't laugh out loud was because I took my nephew to see it, and he's a fan and *loved* the movie. I did not *love* the movie, and found it all a bit POUT, SMOULDER, *sparkle*... oh dear.
I'm very tempted to make Jeff sit through it with me, I think being able to laugh at it would be quite cathartic.
You are so right in every instance. I just saw it last weekend. And... it was like a joke -- a joke that made the book seem like actual literature, and like this movie was made by the Wayans Brothers.
As bad as the book was, the story is still compelling and, though cheesy, romantic. So, what could have been the ultimate teen-angst love story with accompanying magical special effects was like... a 2-hour music video of the world's lamest goth band. I felt bad for everyone in it, especially the two main actors.
Thank y'all for your thoughts. I wish we could all go take a big field trip and see the next one together and laugh and laugh and laugh! And then drink a lot of wine.
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