Update

Ah, sweet blessed hay fever. The prickly eyes, the nose on fire, what a joy!

Update, update, update. On Friday night, I tried to overcome some of my hermit tendencies by attending a backyard happy hour. I drank 2 beers, and it was pleasant. I had to dash off for a semi-fancy pants party that was basically at a mansion because apparently lawyers make lots and lots of money. It was fun except for getting bitten by mosquitoes, although they did not ravage me as ferociously as usual. On Saturday, I took a mid-term first thing in the morning and fled my fun-filled neighborhood, exploding with green beer and beads, for the office, which was more than a little depressing. But those are the breaks! When I got off of work, I went to my friend’s house and was very entertained by her daughter singing the entire score of Annie while standing on top of her slide. Unfortunately this occurred in the backyard, which I think sent my hay fever over the deep end to depths from which I have yet to recover. B. and I met them later that night for Mexican food, where I ate a crawfish and onion quesadilla and drank a raspberry margarita so potent that I basically ended up in my friend’s lap telling her how much I loved her.

On Sunday, I went to the outlet mall with my mother, which is always fun. As usual, we listened to showtunes en route. She steered me directly to Kasper, where surprisingly a lot of really cute stuff was on sale. I cannot even tell you how many work clothes I was able to rake in for $250. The most I paid for a single item was $25 for suit blazers. Skirts – like, really fancy skirts that go with nice suits – were anywhere from $5 to $15. It was a beautiful thing! I will now feel like much less of a slob when it comes time to dress up at work. It was nice to spend some QT with her.

That evening, B. and I defrosted some vaguely disgusting lentil/brown rice concoction I made a few weeks ago and cooked some fresh asparagus and watched The Darjeeling Limited, which I thought was a total delight. And I finished re-reading Deerskin, which remains awesome. This is still my favorite part:

"Don't be too hard on yourself," said the Moonwoman, reading her mind, or the black and white shadows on her own face. "It is a much more straightforward thing to be a dog, and a dog's love, once given, is not reconsidered; it just is, like sunlight or mountains. It is for human beings to see the shadows beyond the light, and the light behind the shadows. It is, perhaps, why dogs have people, and people have dogs. But, my dear, my poor child, don't you understand that healing carries its own responsibilities? ... But you have not accepted your own gift to yourself, your gift of your own life. Ash is looking forward to running through meadows again; can you not give yourself leave to run through meadows too?"

I can’t believe Easter is this coming weekend and that I am both working and going bowling on Good Friday. I remember how we were never allowed to watch TV on Good Friday but our grandmother was allowed to watch The Young and the Restless and Jeopardy and it seemed so unfair.

Working a lot this week. Trying to accept the gift of my own life. I probably won't get the chance to run through any damn meadows, but I am looking forward to breathing in some fresh air this weekend.