33

I had a nice 33rd birthday. It started with a nice card from B. and some calls from people singing to me. We had cake and ice cream at work, and B. and I went out for Thai food and he gave me some lovely gifts. Then we watched Lost, during which I had to start crying near the end of the episode.

The next night, I gathered with friends and family in the private room of a Thai restaurant for a karaoke birthday party I decided to throw for myself. I am not really sure what came over me or possessed me to do this. I am more and more introverted the older I get, and I don't gather with large groups of friends very often anymore. But I decided to say "what the hell" and go for it. My parents came, as did my brother. Frankly, any party where most or all of my family can't come is not a party of mine I want to have. And lots of friends, some of whom I hadn't seen in a while. I had no idea if anyone would get up and sing, but 99% did. I kicked things off with "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. My mom's jaw hit the floor because normally I'm quite stage fright-y about such things. My dad sang "By the Time I Get to Phoenix." B. sang "Summer Wind." M. sang "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and some Hall & Oates song. My brother sang some Air Supply song. I mean, the songs just ran the gamut, and people seemed to have a lot of fun singing them. There was lots of merriment all around, and I shocked myself by actually relaxing and enjoying the whole thing after a few hand-wringing moments of needless anxiety. My brother even figured out some way to set up his iPod on some speakers and play a recording of my sister playing and singing a personalized, re-written version of Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am," which warmed my heart to no damn end.

The next night, B. and I sat down with Italian take-out and watched Gone Baby Gone, which I enjoyed very much. It was great to see Michelle Monaghan again, whom I loved so much in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.

Yesterday, I did homework and spent a little time at the park with M. and her girls. My godchild is going to walk any day now, I can feel it. She pulled lots of sand determinedly and ferociously into her diaper. And the four-year-old sang "Tomorrow" at the top of her lungs while swinging, which is always a good way to have one's spirit lifted, and we all drank Icees for the second day in a row.

B.'s mom sent me a basket of four beautiful plants for my birthday. I bought some new pots and some potting soil and potted them yesterday. They are really brightening up the house. It had been so long since I put my hands in dirt, and it felt really good. I hope I keep them alive.

I have high hopes for 33.