Pickles and Screws

My mom called me when I was at work the other day.

"I'm at the store," she said, "And I'm buying some pickles for Dad and just wanted to know if you needed any."

She knows that this store (that I rarely go to) sells my favorite pickles.

I told her I was all stocked up on pickles but thanks.

Last night I went over at her request to pick up a plate of leftovers, and she presented me with a scarf she'd bought on sale that she knew I would like. It is a very cute and warm scarf.

When I got home from Target the other night, my car's headlights fell upon my dad, who was bent over in my carport looking for something on the ground with a flashlight. Upon my questioning what he was doing, he explained that he came over to change my outdoor lights and had dropped a screw. He was afraid I would get a flat tire if I rolled over it with my car when I got home.

Love is your mom fixing you a plate of leftovers, buying you a scarf, calling you to see if you need pickles.

Love is your dad in his sweatsuit in the cold with a flashlight, searching for fallen screws, standing on ladders, changing burned-out bulbs, letting there be light.

She dreamt of blue skies, soft breeze, and sunshine.

"The Word of Your Body" from Spring Awakening is one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a long time. My obsession with this musical continues.

I finished In the Family Way, Julia Sweeney's monologue about becoming a mom, and I loved it. It was hilarious and moving and made me think, just like Letting Go of God. I've added God Said, Ha! to the top of my Netflix queue.

I called the water company last week after receiving an eye-poppingly high bill, and they told me that two months ago I was using 5 water units and am now using 50. What? They said I must have a leak. I can't find a leak anywhere. I'm disturbed by this but don't really know what to do. I asked them to come out and double check my meter because they told me to check it and I couldn't find it. I'm pretty familiar with my own front yard. If I can't find it, how can they? How am I suddenly using 10 times my usual amount of water? What the hell? The only thing I can think of that is coinciding with this is the season of winter and an increase in the use of my heater, but what does my heater have to do with water? (It's a gas heater.) I have no idea. I certainly haven't been watering any plants or the yard as it's rained basically every day for weeks and weeks. I hope there is not an invisible leak that is rotting my house from the inside out.

The episode made me cry, and now this column is making me cry. (Warning: includes information about recent Grey's Anatomy episodes if you haven't seen them.)

And now for a weekend update. On Friday night, we ate delicious corn chowder with tomatoes and basil and a kickass salad and homemade bread all cooked by my gifted and talented boyfriend, and we started Sherrybaby, which we finished the next day. (Gyllenhaal is of course great in it, but it's very depressing, and the love scenes were unbearably uncomfortable to watch.) We went to the gym instead of the park for our long runs because it was pouring down rain outside (as usual). He ran 10.6 miles in the blink of an eye, and I, like the wind (ha), ran 8 in a little under 2 hours. I was supposed to run 10, but I didn't really have the time because we had plans. Even if I'd had time, I probably wouldn't have run 10 anyway. That number holds too many icky associations after last week's horrid run. Running 8 miles on the treadmill was surprisingly not terrible, mostly because for the first time I ran on a treadmill with the little built-in fans. I am going to request that my own gym get those immediately because they honestly made all the difference in the world for me.

After our runs, we rushed on creaky legs to the matinee of Pan's Labyrinth, which was much scarier, grosser, more violent, and more disturbing than I'd anticipated -- but also much, much more fantastic than I thought it would be! This movie is beautifully done and thought-provoking and totally, totally moving, and the little girl in it, Ivana Baquero, is SO good. I was thinking that if the Academy wanted to nominate a child this year, she should have been the one (my love for Abigail Breslin notwithstanding), but then I figured that this would have had to go in the lead category which is already too crowded as it is. So whatever. But she was unbelievably good and impressive. The whole thing was so delicious and sad and amazing and everyone should see it with the understanding that you might have to cover your eyes sometimes if you're squeamish and it might possibly sometimes scare the bejesus out of you. This is definitely the best movie I've seen in 2007.

After the movie was dinner (pizza and beer and conversation) and dessert (he had the chestnut, and I had strawberry and chocolate chip). Yum.

On Sunday, we went to the French bakery for an oat bran muffin, a raspberry pastry, and the newspaper. We then went to Whole Foods and spent $1 million on a handful of items which is just what you do there, and I finally got some of this (in Cocoa) because Maryelizabeth has been singing its praises for weeks now. It is in fact very nice. Soon I hope to order this because both she and Shelley think it's God's gift and I think I need to take better care of my skin. It's just so dry (yet also oily!) that I fear I am going to turn into an old lady any moment now. We played a game of Scrabble and ate leftovers, and I headed home to visit my friend's new baby and do a big grocery shopping trip at Target, where I returned the peanuts that B. was eating merrily last weekend when a spider came out of the jar along with the nuts. It was sort of like something out of Pan's Labyrinth, actually.

And then I took a bath and ate more leftovers and watched Battlestar Galactica and that was my weekend. Oh, I also watched the SAG Awards and cried when Miranda Bailey won and during the entire Julie Andrews tribute. (P.S. Anne Hathaway looked gorgeous.) This video is for my sister, who, thankfully, like Janey Glenn after she fictitiously almost spun to death at gymnastics tryouts, is HOME, SAFE, and ALIVE.

Enjoying

Things I've enjoyed lately:

• Various Office-related musical clips: Jim and Andy sing Lovefool, Andy sings to Pam, Andy and Jim sing Closer to Fine, Mana mana, and David Brent's dance.

• I followed a link from Dooce to find Oliver Daily. I loved scrolling through the photos and when I got to this one I almost cried at the beauty and joy. Other favorites include Oliver the explorer, another great Oliver has a stick shot, big dog/little dog, snow dancing, THREE leaping pups, oh my God just just kill me now, and just one of the many shots in which Oliver runs with his brother and their ears are awesome.

• Miss Alli's take on the surge strategy.

• The Spring Awakening soundtrack. (I am determined to get up to New York to see it. These kids' voices are tremendous, and there's a great energy to the album, and I don't even know what is going on yet, but I already love it.) (I KNEW I recognized castmember Lea Michele -- it's because she was Tateh's daughter in Ragtime and I've watched that Tony performance a million times and she really stands out for being one of the most expressive singers on stage [about 2 minutes into that video and then at 3:34 and 4:06] even as a young girl.) (I really need to see Spring Awakening. I must make it happen.) (See more about it here.)

Oscar Nominations

Actress

Penélope Cruz in Volver

I haven't seen this. She sure is getting raves, though. The consensus seems to be that she's just okay when in an English-speaking film but that she's amazing when using her native Spanish. I definitely want to see this, and I'm just waiting for it to come out here.

Judi Dench in Notes on a Scandal

I'm sure I've written before that I really love her even though I still don't think she deserved the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love (even though she's great in it -- 8 minutes just does not cut it, in my opinion). This movie looks dark and disturbing, and my memories of teaching are dark and disturbing enough, so I'm not sure I'll see it.

Helen Mirren in The Queen

It occurs to me that I've never seen her in anything. She is a super sexy and awesome broad, though, from what I've seen of her and read of her. I want to see this.

Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada

I didn't see this, and of course I like Meryl Streep, duh. She always gives great speeches. I don't know. I really can't see anyone winning this but Dench or Mirren.

Kate Winslet in Little Children

My co-worker today, who's usually pretty smart about movies, it seems, told me this morning that he's sick of Kate Winslet. Sick of Kate Winslet! I have to think this is just some kind of sudden lapse of sanity on his part. It is impossible to be sick of Kate Winslet. This movie never came out here, surprise, but I've no doubt that she's astonishing in it because she is astonishing in everything and I love her, the end.

Actor

Leonard DiCaprio in Blood Diamond

Huh. I didn't see this. I thought he was fantastic in The Departed this year. What can you say? He's a really good actor. There's really just sort of no denying it at this point.

Ryan Gosling in Half-Nelson

Oh, Ryan Gosling. I saw this movie solely because I read that he was so magnificent in it. And he was. This movie is dark and depressing and slow. It's good, but don't expect to feel light and happy when it's all said and done. I think Ryan Gosling is brilliant, and I hope that he and Rachel McAdams make lots of beautiful Canadian babies together.

Peter O'Toole in Venus

The only Peter O'Toole movie I have ever seen is Supergirl. And see it I did, lots and lots of times when I was younger. I loved it as a kid even while recognizing that it was ridiculous, and I loved how Sharon (Grease 2) / Doris (Fame) was in it. I should probably rectify this shame immediately by renting a Peter O'Toole movie because word on the street is that he's one of the greatest actors of all time. I should really get some culture. I hope he wins because he's old and he's still out there doing the talk show circuit like he's 25. I am rooting for him.

Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness

I did not see this and my former affection for Will Smith has sort of waned due to his apparent friendship with Tom Cruise. I can't help it. I still like him, but not as much as I used to. He seems to be becoming a part of that scary Scientology-influenced Hollywood Power Couple circle with Cruise and Holmes and the Beckhams and Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony and it's just gross to me.

Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland

This never came out here. Everyone seems to think he will and should win. I don't know. All I know is that he directed Hope Floats and that's enough for me to love him eternally. (Speaking of, did y'all recognize Bernice as the bent-over girl on Grey's Anatomy recently? As in Bernice, who just doesn't want to be known as Bernice Matisse?)

Supporting Actress

Adriana Barraza in Babel

I never saw this; I'm not sure why.

Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal

Well, what can you say about Cate? Only that even though she just won for The Aviator, it's impossible to get sick of her, just like it's impossible to get sick of Kate Winslet. In addition to being radiant and just insanely good, she also gives some of the most well-spoken and intelligent-sounding interviews I've ever read. I think Kate and Cate should team up in a movie so screens across the world could explode, unable to withstand their talent.

Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine

This nomination completely surprised me. I loved her in this, to be sure, and I even love her in the Hewlett Packard ad. But it didn't occur to me that she'd be nominated. But yay, bravo. Without her, this movie might have still been okay, but let's face it, she's the big reason that people love it -- because you root for her and you understand why the family is going through all of this absurdity to make her dream happen for her. Because you think you'd do all of that, too. You think you'd do anything for her. Aw, fuck it. I hope she wins for this scene alone.

Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls

Everyone seems to think she will win. My sister saw this and conceded that she is really quite awesome in it.

Rinko Kikuchi in Babel

No clue except that The Fug Girls have very amusingly featured her lately.

Supporting Actor

Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine

Sigh. Okay. There's no denying that he's very good and funny in this. Most of the big laughs in the movie come from him, I think. But it didn't really seem like that huge of a stretch. I KNOW that part of being a great actor is to make it seem like you're not acting, but I just don't really see that his performance was any better than Greg Kinnear's, Steve Carell's, or Paul Dano's (Dwayne). I'd put any one of those three over him, even though he was great and his character was hilarious, simply because they each just had a lot more range than he did. But I get that he's a veteran actor and that he's probably due this recognition.

Jackie Earle Haley in Little Children

Like I said, I haven't seen this, but I do have very strong memories of him in The Bad News Bears and am very weirded out that he is now a grown man with no hair.

Djimon Hounsou in Blood Diamond

I always enjoy his performances, but I can't really say much about this one because I'm unfamiliar with the movie and his role in it.

Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls

I think it'd be nice to see him win. I really can't help but like him and respect him even though (a) most of his movies these days are totally idiotic and (b) he's been kind of an assclown during this whole recent paternity dispute with Scary Spice.

Mark Wahlburg in The Departed

Okay. I have always liked Mark Wahlburg and truly believe that he is a fine, fine actor. But I don't understand why he was singled out for this nomination over Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson. Huh? Matt Damon is consistently so solid, and I think he should have been recognized for this movie, and it's just kind of laughable that Jack Nicholson wasn't. I realize he already has at least 3 Oscars that I can think of off the top of my head and that he doesn't really need any more kudos, but he was fantastic in this! Wahlburg was really good and everything, but this is a head-scratcher for me.

Picture

Babel

Something about the ads for this just did not appeal to me. I admit it might have to do with my love/hate relationship with all things Pitt / Jolie.

The Departed

Loved it!

Letters from Iwo Jima

I didn't really like Million Dollar Baby, and I never saw Mystic River. He sure has been going balls-out on his movies lately. It's admirable, and everyone seems to love this one. I'd like to see it. Assuming it ever comes out here. Which it probably won't.

Little Miss Sunshine

Loved it.

The Queen

Hopefully I will see this soon.

(Previous Oscar nomination entries: 2001, 2004, 2005, 2006.)

Still love you, Saints

The Saints just lost, it's raining, and my man just left. All of those things suck.

I don't know what to do with myself so I guess I'll lie here and update. On Friday night, we ate Thai take-out and started The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. Mainly I was obsessed with The Bread that night, but more on that later.

On Saturday morning, we went out for breakfast and split banana pecan pancakes. We finished the movie, which was pretty good. Eventually we set out on our runs. He ran 8 miles in about 70 minutes, and I ran 10 miles in about two hours and forty minutes.

Without dwelling on how stupidly slow that is, all I can really say about it is that the first half was okay but that as I got through the last few miles, I was more miserable than I can remember being in quite some time while running or otherwise. I can't really explain the dark place that I went to, how much I hated running at that minute, how much I hated grey winter days, how I felt hot and cold at the same time but mostly cold, how I wondered why I was doing something that I loathed so completely and why I wanted to subject my body to something that caused every inch of it to hurt, especially my hips which felt like they were dislocating from the rest of me, etc. It was so hard, and I was so spaced out, and I really thought I was going to just fall over and black out several times. I don't even know how or why I didn't quit.

Obviously, based on my time, I almost slowed to a walk by the time I neared the end, but I never actually started walking, and for that I am very proud of myself. Because by God, I wanted to. I really don't know why the ten-mile run was so much more difficult than the 9-mile. I do not know. But after yesterday's run, I seriously thought, "I am done." Done with running, done with training, forget the half-marathon, the whole thing. Because I never, ever, ever, ever wanted to do that again. I'm still not sure that I do, but I guess I'll wait until next weekend and see.

We went to the library later that afternoon and checked out Shoot the Piano Player, which we started last night and I think we were going to finish today, but I guess we forgot. We went out to dinner last night, sharing some insanely good pull-apart bread slathered in garlic, olive oil, and parmesan cheese, and he had steak and I had seafood cannelloni. Then we headed out to a party where my brother was playing. It was heinously crowded and smoky, but it was still a good time, mostly because my brother was awesome and seemed to be having a great time. I love seeing all of the young girls and guys (young meaning in their 20s) singing along with his songs.

This morning we had coffee with my dad and then headed home to hunker down for the game. My sister is in the Philippines right now working on a school project which is a great opportunity I'm sure but is way too far away from me, clearly. Insanely, she got up at 4:00 this morning to watch the Saints game, which was ON IN MANILA. I'm so sure. We chatted a bit online and I'm sure she is very bummed right now along with the rest of the state. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Well, the way I see it, they still had an amazing season, brought incredible happiness to their city, and can totally hold their heads high.

And as for the bread, it will probably just be easiest to direct you to the Flickr set chronicling the process. Start here. I'm off to feed my Saints sorrow by eating some right now.

Meanwhile the world goes on

Today I watched my friend's baby being born. It's hard for me to find the words to describe the experience. I found the words when I saw her first child being born. Somehow. Tonight I just do not have them, I don't think.

Once again it was stunning to witness something so different from the portrayal of the delivery room I know from TV and movies. Thankfully, the two births I've witnessed have been free of complications. (I wish all births could be this way.) Because there were no medical issues or problems, everyone was calm and laid back, joking casually and being so relaxed. I know that some people think it's weird that I've been there for this and think that birth is not a spectator sport, but I didn't see myself as a spectator either time. Nor was I participant. I tried to just hide in the corners and take pictures, because taking pictures is what my friend asked me to do. So I took them.

Like last time, I saw her husband holding her head and encouraging her. I saw the blissed out look on her face as it relaxed into relief when the baby let out her first bleaty cry. I saw the baby being weighed and having her footprints taken. I saw the grandparents and the great-grandmother, who -- after confirming that the baby was named after her own mother (the baby's great-great-grandmother, who died in childbirth having her) -- looked at me and said, "My heart is so full."

My heart is full, too. I am not a mother or someone of strong stomach, and though it was calm, the room was also bloody and messy, but somehow the gore faded into the background and all I could see was the mother, the father, the baby, the happiness. What can I even say to try to describe the miracle of birth and life without sounding like some kind of a cliche-spouting asshole? Nothing. Except that it's a miracle.

Thinking about how I saw something slimy come out of my friend that ended up being a living, breathing baby is heavy. So heavy that I'm going to have to eat some miniature Reese's cups and watch American Idol now.

And I'll post the poem I posted about this baby's older sister when she was born almost three years ago because I think it's one of the most beautiful poems I know. And because she is a beautiful baby.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver

Weekend update

I guess it's time for a weekend update. On Friday night, I drove to the city to have dinner with my boyfriend and his sister, who was visiting for the first time. We ate and ate and ate. Then we had gelato. Then we played Scrabble. The next morning, we had brunch and took a walk on the levee. The weather over the end of last week and the early weekend was unbelievable. Sunny and in the 70s. Bliss. That night, Maryelizabeth and I attended the wedding of J., whom we befriended in Latin class our sophomore year of high school. It's strange to think we've known him for 17 years. How is that possible? What the hell?! Then boy, now man, now husband, always friend. Life is crazy. He seems happy, and it was fun for Maryelizabeth and me to have a night out as each other's dates.

I got up on Sunday and headed outside for my first nine-mile run. It was no longer sunny and blissful. It was mostly grey, but it was still pretty warm. The first 4.5 miles were okay. Knowing that I'd planned the route to stop by my house to speed-pee and down some Powerade at the half-way mark was definitely psychologically helpful. My break clocked in at under two minutes, and then I hit the streets again. By about mile seven or eight, I started to seriously dissociate and it took on the out of body experience feeling. My feet were killing me. But I just kept telling myself that it was nothing and that I was not allowed to quit. So I didn't, and I spaced out to the point where I had to remind myself to watch out for cars. I could barely walk for the rest of the day, but I did it. I had a massage yesterday, and that was glorious. It felt like such a gift to my body. I asked her to spend extra time on my glutes and hips because they're wound up so tight that it's painful and I can't seem to stretch them very well, and my only complaint about the massage is that instead of doing deep tissue work with her hands like I'd hoped, she karate-chopped my butt and hips with her elbows. Other than that, it was decadent and very enjoyable.

I finished Letting Go of God, and I thought it was great. It made me laugh and think and was very moving at times. It brought me back to my childhood and my Catholic education in ways that I can't even articulate at the moment. Like Julia Sweeney, my memories of being raised Catholic and going to Catholic school are really mostly positive. I laughed and laughed at her memories and her re-exploration of the tenets of the faith and the Bible as an adult. She really did a brilliant job with this, I think. I liked it so much that I just ordered another monologue of hers called In the Family Way.

Last night, we gathered at my parents' with Thai take-out to celebrate my mom's birthday. As usual, there was much football talk. They weighed in on their opinions; my parents seem to think he did his job here and we can't begrudge him his desire to succeed somewhere else, no matter where it is; my brother's girlfriend said she doesn't care what he does but is disgusted by the way he leaves other people to clean up his messes; my little brother could do nothing but turn red, shake his head, and mutter, "Judas."

In other football news, people are so excited about the Saints that you can feel this sort of underlying hysteria boiling underneath the surface that could explode at any moment. Everyone's disappointed that we're playing in Chicago instead of in the Dome, but my little brother observed that so insane would be the experience in New Orleans that sheer mutiny might break out and maybe it's for the best that the city is not subjected to that at this time. But who knows? I fear the effect of the snow and cold on our players, but my dad said in his way that is somehow both steely and rabid, as he stabbed at his pad Thai, something like, "Do you think our guys, knowing they are playing for the Super Bowl, will be cold? They will be on fire." Awesome. (And by the way, Anonymous, did you really think I would post your rude comment about the Saints? Maybe if you'd left your name, but of course you didn't. Give me a break.)

The weather is now ass. I know I've no room to complain compared to what the rest of the country has gone through this winter and what still lies ahead, but I can't deal with the high temperature of the day being in the 30s and rain, rain, rain, rain, rain for days on end, which is what we're facing this week. It makes me unspeakably morose and yet again I wonder how my sister and Shelley can survive in the northeast without taking permanently to their beds. I was so in love with my bed this morning that I thought, "I could stay in you all day. I really could. I have never been so warm and comfortable. Flannel sheets are the world's best invention. Bed. Love. I love you, my bed. Love love love. I never want to leave you. You are my soulmate." But I got up and shivered through my cereal and bundled up and headed out. Again, I know this is faux winter to many, but it's winter to me, and I hate it.

I was so glad when Ugly Betty won the Golden Globe, and I cried when America Fererra did. I think it's great that everyone seems to be talking about what a great message this show has in terms of people, especially women, having more to offer the world than what they look like, but I wish that more people were talking about how this show is a lot more than that "message." It's really mostly just highly entertaining and completely hilarious. I saw Michael Urie, who plays Mark, who I think is my favorite character, on The View recently, and he was so delightful. (I love this photo of him and Becki Newton, who so deliciously plays Amanda, posing in character.) This is a great show, but don't be put off by the reports that it's all about some kind of sociological moral. It's also sweet and funny and over-the-top and I love it.

Our home, our team

It would be most excellent if the Saints were to win tonight.



It really would.

Do It for Jason!

Running's been tough lately. Tougher than usual, even. Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing something that is fundamentally not enjoyable to me. I keep telling myself that the training is its own reward and that I've come too far to quit now. Thankfully, Friday Night Lights came on during my run last night, and it's so damn inspirational to me that it makes me feel like I could run forever. I tell myself, "Don't you think Jason Street would like to be running right now? Get over yourself!" and other such ridiculous statements of the pep talk variety.

I was home for the second half of the episode and was startled to find tears exploding from my eyes not once, but twice. Incidentally, Pajiba just named it the best new show of the season. I don't always agree with Pajiba -- they inexplicably liked Brick, for example -- but they got this one right. I love this show. You can still watch every episode online, but that will probably go away soon. (Note: I wrote recently that Bright Eyes' cover of "Devil Town" by Daniel Johnston appeared on this show. I thought it was Bright Eyes because that's what the closed captioning said. But it turns out that it was Tony Lucca doing a cover of Bright Eyes' cover.)

In other news, I like the song "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. (You can watch the video here. And the Grey's Anatomy version of the video here.) I'm a little sick of it at this point, but I still listen to it if it should come on the radio, which, let's face it, it does all day long. The only problem is that there is some kind of chimey sound in the song that is identical to my cell phone ring so I can't listen to the song without thinking my cell phone is ringing down in the bottom of my purse. Even if I remind myself emphatically as the song starts, "That is not going to be your phone ringing, it's the song," I always think it's my phone ringing. It is kind of maddening and makes me feel like I'm going crazy.

Also, I have been a lifetime lover of snack mix. I excitedly explained to Shelley each of the ingredients in this snack mix, which I just discovered at the grocery store. (Pretzel sticks, pretzel twists, melba rounds, cheese nips, Crispix, and Quaker Oat Squares.)

She sighed, satisfied, then said, "Someone knows who you are. And what you needed."

I'm not sure how we got on the topic, but recently we were reminiscing about our once-fervent love for Michael W. Smith. We went an Amy Grant concert with our moms and my sister in the eighth grade, and he was the opening act. We thought he was just dynamite back then. And ... here he is. In all of his vesty, denimy, mullety glory.

Random

This is going to be a post of randomness.

Another thirtysomething episode has been added on YouTube, blessedly. It's "Second Look," otherwise known as one of the best and saddest episodes ever on television. So if you need a good honking cry, have at it. (An interesting old article about Nancy's cancer storyline can be found here.)

Here's a Sheriff Seth Bullock Alert: He's appearing in a movie called Catch and Release starring Jennifer Garner. I am a sucker for both Jennifer Garner and Sheriff Seth Bullock, so I'm sure I will end up seeing it even though once again I have to state my hatred of trailers that give away the entire movie.

This amused me deeply.

I've really been enjoying Cold Feet on DVD, and I'm all set to start season three, but I'm bummed to discover that seasons four and five aren't even available on DVD. So I'll have to stop mid-series. Which is frustrating. I could buy them used from the UK, but they wouldn't play in my DVD player. Piss.

Much suffering in human life results
from a fruitless attempt
to retain a note that has
already ceased to sound
or to anticipate a note
that has yet sounded.
I found this quote in a little plastic table card rack at lunch the other day, handwritten beneath a drawing on another card. I liked it, so I wrote it down on a takeout menu. Supposedly it's from a book called The Theory of Conscious Harmony by Robert Collin. The only place I can find it online is on a single MySpace page of an 18-year-old. So it might be made up or misquoted. I have no idea.

I like it.

I've been won over by The Office (U.S.), okay, it only took me a few years. I really like it, and I really like reading Jenna/Pam's blog. I've also decided that other than The Office, the best sitcom on television is How I Met Your Mother. I like it more every week, and last night's made me laugh out loud. Especially the way that Barney says, "Uh, dance?" And in case you missed it the first time, this remains one of the best talk show appearances ever by anyone.

I can't stop going to the memorial site set up for Helen Hill. I can't stop reading about her and her family and what a wonderful person she was and how many people's lives she touched. I did not know her, but the stories of her life and death are filling me with both inspiration and despair. My boyfriend told me this afternoon that there is much to be happy about and thankful for even in this fucked up world, and I am trying hard to remember that.

(Photo by B.)

Damn You, CamelBak

I've just returned from a disastrous run during which I attempted to use a CamelBak fanny pack contraption. What a fiasco. I couldn't get it to fit properly, and it kept riding up around my waist instead of around my hips and was bouncing around atop my tailbone and causing shooting back pains. Awesome. I was supposed to run a 10K this weekend for my long run to end week 9 of my training, and instead I ran under three when last week I was able to run eight. Failure to be certain. But for some reason I can't bring myself to care. It's rainy and dreary outside, and all I feel like doing is lying around in sweatpants watching season two of Cold Feet and eating coffee ice cream straight out of the carton.

Aside from the run from hell, it was a nice weekend. On Friday night, I made shrimp pesto pizza for my boyfriend and sister and pretended to be an actual entertainer as inspired by my Christmas gift of I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. We started A Scanner Darkly, which was so irritatingly confusing to me that I started to pass out in involuntary protest. On Saturday morning, we went to the farmer's market for muffins and to the sporting goods store and to lunch, where I had the slimiest gumbo ever. It was like the chef blew her nose in the bowl and called it a day. I heard somewhere that if you don't cook the okra properly, it results in snotty gumbo. Clearly this chef needs an okra lesson. B. went on a run while I sat outside with the dogs and read The Wonder Spot (another Christmas gift) which I can happily report is much better than Melissa Bank's first book. We finished A Scanner Darkly, which I still didn't understand by the time it ended. After watching some special features, I liked it a little more even while realizing that a MAJOR plot point flew completely over my head. Oh, well. We played a game of Scrabble and eventually headed out to see Children of Men, which I did not love quite as much as Kymm did but which certainly made for a good night at the movies.

For breakfast this morning, we ate eggs with cheese and roasted red peppers and biscuits and orange juice squeezed with my new juicer. Another game of Scrabble was played, and coffee was purchased at the Starbucks that seems to be staffed by increasingly inept morons. Wrong-sized drinks, clots in the cream. Tasty.

My sister left today, and it is weird that she is gone. I know she has a life of her own far up in the frozen tundra, but it's always nice to know she's nearby. I'm glad we got to spend time together over the holidays and spend time together on New Year's Eve, just like we did in 2004 and 2005. I will miss her and hope she stays warm.

Movies of 2006

My boyfriend, lover of lists, inspired me to keep a list of 2006 books and movies. My book list fell by the wayside long ago, but I was faithful in keeping up with the movies I saw. Sometimes I felt like writing a little about a movie, but mostly I didn't. I also included a link to past entries if I mentioned the movie previously. So, here goes.

January

Serenity: (On DVD.)

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, even never having seen Firefly. I watched the special features, and those made me like it even more. From an e-mail to B about it: "So, I have spent the afternoon and evening so far watching Serenity and numerous special features. And I have to say that it surpassed my expectations. I didn't really have any expectations having never seen Firefly, the show it's based on -- other than that I knew it was by Joss Whedon and that lots of people whose opinions on things like TV and movies I trust love it with a passion. And it's definitely Joss through and through, from top to bottom. He has a trademark sense of humor and nerdiness and timing and adventure that was always evident on Buffy and even Angel and definitely in this film. I feel like kicking myself for never watching Firefly, and I definitely intend to check it out on DVD immediately. It's amazing and really historic how a major film ended up being made from a canceled, failed TV series -- I think Firefly only had something like 9 episodes -- but even having never seen it, I think the movie stands on its own. It's just very entertaining. I can't help but feel affection for it simply because it's by Joss and I am so familiar with and fond of his style and his geeky fanboy enthusiasm. He is intensely likeable, and that kind of infuses his work with that strange essence that just makes you want to root for it as an audience member. If that makes sense. I think that going back and watching the series now will really enrich my understanding of the film. In one of the features, Joss was talking about he came up with the idea after reading a book on Gettysburg and starting to think about life in the frontier which made him think of the Millennium Falcon, because "most things do." He wanted to tell a story of people living in space but kind of the people on the fringe ... people who never would have been noticed by the Starship Enterprise. In short, I liked it. All of the idea of absolute power corrupting absolutely and outcasts and underdogs ... good stuff. And the outtakes were hilarious."

Brokeback Mountain: (In the theater with Eva.) It got me in the stomach.

Murderball: (On DVD with B.) I enjoyed this one. It was entertaining and cool to see how these guys in wheelchairs are so hardcore and balls-out aggressive about sports and life.

The Family Stone: (In theater with Eva.) Great cast, good moments, altogether not that outstanding. Mostly I was bothered by Claire Danes. I am sorry, but her sunken cheeks and veneers basically distracted me so much that I couldn't enjoy the rest of the movie once she appeared. But Luke Wilson is almost ridiculously likeable, and I thought that Diane Keaton was brilliant. And I always love Rachel McAdams, even when she plays someone really annoying.

Serenity: (Again, with B.) Even better this time!

The Constant Gardener: (On DVD with B.) A "good" movie, but a total downer.

Junebug: (On DVD.) Loved it. Loved Amy Adams, loved Alessandro Nivola singing "Softly and Tenderly," loved the screwed-up family dynamic and all of the little natural, real details. Loved it!

February

Cinderella Man: (On DVD.) BORING. Annoying accents. DULL, SLOW, A SNOOZER.

In Her Shoes: (On DVD.) Pretty good. Started slow. Cameron Diaz is pretty much annoying, but Toni Collette is wonderful, as usual. I cannot fathom how thin she must have been to begin with if she put on 25 pounds for this role, because she still looks one hundred percent thin. Whatever, Hollywood standards. It's hard not to love Shirley MacLaine, too. The best thing about this movie are the scenes in the "retirement community for active seniors." The older actors are great, and their characters are never played for a laugh at the expense of their being old. You know? And Mark Feuerstein is terrific, even though it's hard for me to think of him as anyone but Leo, the bike-riding doctor whom Karen foolishly lets get away on Once and Again. One of my very favorite poems is read at the end, and I will not deny that hot tears shot down my cheeks.

Happy Endings: (On DVD). I'm afraid that no movie by Don Roos will ever top The Opposite of Sex for me. It's just impossible. I about gave up on him altogether after Bounce, I really did. This is not a great movie, but I thought it was a pretty good one, largely because the cast is just tops. I was happy to see Jason Ritter, Kevin from Joan of Arcadia, in such a different role. I think Don Roos must bring out the best in Lisa Kudrow, because she's brilliant obviously as Lucia in The Opposite of Sex, and she's really good here. This is the first thing I've seen Jesse Bradford in since he was Cliff Pantone in Bring It On, and he gives a really energetic performance in this. I forgot that Tom Arnold was Tom Arnold. But the movie really belongs to Maggie Gyllenhaal as Jude, even though her character kind of sucks and I kind of hate her. She's so natural onscreen (in everything, really) -- she just sort of oozes around with her messy hair and super lanky bod rather than walking like a normal person. She's just so relaxed. Really good. And her voice is pretty damn good, too, deep and interesting. And Rory's dad, Christopher, is even in this movie, and the great Laura Dern, and scary scary Nina from 24 tells one character, "Get a court order, motherfucker!" and I got a little scared of her in a Nina-like way. So. Basically, the cast is awesome. The movie's a little too cute for its own good, but I'm glad I saw it.

Brokeback Mountain: (In the theater with B.) I loved it all over again. Him, not so much.

A Very Long Engagement: (On DVD with B.) Lovely and magical and gory at the same time. Fell asleep in the middle of it but just because I was tired. It's impossible not to like Audrey Tautou, and it was very romantic.

Thumbsucker: (On DVD with B.) B liked this much more than I did. I thought it had some interesting ideas but was kind of a snoozer.

Nine Lives: (On DVD) Excellent. Loved the long continuous shots.

March

V for Vendetta: (At the theater with B.) Entertaining. Cool visuals and some good ideas.

April

Passion Fish: (On DVD with B.) Mary McDonnell is astonishing.

All the Real Girls: (On DVD.) I thought I would like this more than I did.

Broken Flowers: (On DVD with B.) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Fell asleep.

Red Eye: (On DVD with B.) Pretty stupid. Still love Rachel McAdams.

The Squid & the Whale: (On DVD.) Good but horrifying at times.

May

Hustle & Flow: (On DVD with B.) Very enjoyable.

Everything Is Illuminated: (On DVD with B.) Different from the book but entertaining in its own way. Moving at times.

Art School Confidential: (At the theater with B.) I sort of liked this but was mostly annoyed by it.

The Beat that My Heart Skipped: (On DVD with B.) Slept through most of it, but the music was pretty.

June

Something New: (On DVD.) Perfectly cute romantic comedy.

Proof: (On DVD with B.) I liked this more than I thought I would.

Four Brothers: (On DVD with B.) Awful.

The Break-Up: (At the theater with Eva.) Bad. Just bad.

Transamerica: (On DVD with KG.) Loved it.

(Note: I wrote about the above five movies here.)

All Aboard: (On DVD.) Loved it. Cried throughout.

Old School: (On DVD.) Finally saw this. It was stupid but indeed funny.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: (On plane to Boston.) Loved it totally. One of my favorites of the year (even though it came out the previous year).

July

Failure to Launch: (On DVD.) HORRID.

Prime: (On DVD.) Uma's hair too blonde, Meryl fantastic, kind of a snoozer but not terrible.

An Inconvenient Truth (At the theater with B.) Both terrifying and a complete bore at the same time.

Superman Returns: (At the theater with my little brother.) The music makes this entire movie.

City of God: (On DVD.) Powerful and quite unforgettable. Brutal, though.

Clerks 2: (At the theater with B.) Funny and ridiculous.

Something's Gotta Give: (On TV.) Far exceeded expectations. Diane Keaton: brilliant. Jack Nicholson: a genius. Laugh-out-loud hilarious.

August

Howl's Moving Castle: (On DVD with B.) I think I dozed in parts of this. I don't think I really understood it. The animation was beautiful, but I might not be smart enough for Miyazaki.

World Trade Center: (At the theater with my brother and sister.) A bit much.

L'Enfant: (On DVD with B.) Hated it.

Little Miss Sunshine: (At the theater with B.) Loved it.

Brick: (On DVD with B.) Hated it beyond measure.

September

Friends with Money: (On DVD with B.) Just okay.

Lonesome Jim: (On DVD.) Slow and depressing but also sort of good and sweet.

The Very Infuriating Last Kiss: (At the theater with B.) Hated it with effusive passion.

Tsotsi: (On DVD.) Moving. Baby in peril movie. Made me nervous. But beautiful, really.

Drumline: (On DVD with B. and his brother). Entertaining.

October

Thank You for Smoking: (On DVD with B.) Funny but not as good as I hoped it would be.

The Lake House: (On DVD.) Cheesy but sweet.

Sorry, Haters: (On DVD.) REALLY scary, thought-provoking, and good. Robin Wright Penn was amazing.

Half Nelson: (In the theater by myself.) Slow. Good. But definitely slow. Ryan Gosling is definitely one of the best actors alive and anyone who disagrees is delusional.

The Departed: (In the theater with B.) Very, very, very, very, very, very exciting, imaginative, brilliantly acted, and entertaining across the board.

November

Stranger than Fiction: (At the theater with B.) I really liked this! I liked it more than I thought I would, and I've been remembering it affectionately and recommending it.

The DaVinci Code: (On DVD with B.) Sucky. And this is from someone who has definitely enjoyed a Ron Howard movie or three in her life, namely Apollo 13 and Splash and Parenthood.

December

Wordplay: (On DVD with B.) Funny, fascinating, and definitely worth watching.

The Devil and Daniel Johnston: (On DVD with B.) I was not familiar with Daniel Johnston. Now I think about him all the time. I almost fell off the treadmill when the Bright Eyes cover of "Devil Town" played on Friday Night Lights. I definitely recommend this movie.

Anne Frank Remembered: (On DVD.) Beautifully done. Powerful. Heartache-inducing.

Rocky Balboa: (At the theater with my brother and sister.) Certainly better than Rocky V, that's for sure.

Phew. In short, I guess my Top 10, in no particular order, and some of these might not have actually come out in 2006, would be Serenity, Brokeback Mountain, Junebug, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Transamerica, City of God, Stranger than Fiction, Something's Gotta Give, The Departed, and Little Miss Sunshine. Movies I would not see again if you paid me one million dollars were Brick, The Last Kiss, The Constant Gardener, L'Enfant, Failure to Launch, The DaVinci Code, Four Brothers, and The Break-Up.

What were your movie loves and hates in 2006?

It's New Year's Eve

... and hopes are high
Dance one year in
Kiss one goodbye
Another chance
Another start
So many dreams
To tease the heart
We don't need a crowded ballroom
Everything we want is here
Let's wait and see
It may just be
The perfect year

--Sunset Boulevard

It was a good New Year's Eve. We went to the Saints game where a shrieking idiot behind me spilled white zinfandel on my coat and purse shortly after the game started and it took me a little while to get over being surly about it. Who drinks white zinfandel at a Saints game? I don't know. It was exciting to be at the game even though the truth is that I don't really understand football and can't ever tell where the actual ball is and even though we lost. We had dinner (my redfish was too fishy, but the jalapeno cala with root vegetable and apple remoulade was very tasty, as was the cream of celery soup, and the chocolate coconut roulade with butter pecan ice cream and Sazeracs were to die for), met up with my sister and her friends nearby for a nice visit on a balcony, went to a co-worker's party, and overall a good time was had by all.

On New Year's Day, I beat my boyfriend in Scrabble 386 to 375, which if I'm not mistaken was my all-time highest scoring game. We went to another party today where I ate about five pounds of stuffed cabbage, and we tried to watch Ponette but we both fell asleep because cuteness only gets you so far. I finished One Good Turn by Kate Atkinson, which was very enjoyable. I had white bean soup with leftover Christmas ham with my parents and sister for dinner. 2007: So far, so good.