Closed hearts, open hearts

I took both pups to the vet the other morning at the same time -- what a fiasco. Daisy's microchip injection bled all over the place, Zuko's poop juice got all over the vet's outfit during gland expression, and Daisy peed all over the room. It took me, the vet, the vet's wife, two vet techs, and a muzzle to wrestle Zuko into submission during the gland procedure, and he was still thrashing like a maniac. It was awesome. $300 later, they are both vaccinated and chipped and checked and all good, though Daisy needs to have her teeth cleaned and has once again not taken well to her vaccinations at all. She's hobbling around, can barely use one of her back legs, and did not even bat an eye when both cats entered the room and perched not too far from her. Normally she would be in full chase mode. I feel really awful for her, but I keep telling myself this happens every year and not to freak. Next year I might reconsider loading them up with all of these shots. What is the point, really? Zuko cried all night after the appointment and would only stop if I went to lay on the couch. And Daisy was just pitiful yesterday. I can't really bear it.

Last night, I made this recipe, and it turned out pretty well. I used light instead of fat free sour cream because life is too short, and I served it over gemelli noodles because it turned out that my bag of brown rice was full of little dead bugs. Also, it was the first time in my life I'd ever bought sausage that wasn't made by Boca or Morningstar, so it felt like a turning point. (It was Healthy Choice smoked sausage.)

Meanwhile, the neighbors' dogs broke through my fence again, leaving the neighbors' "barricade" as a pile of fallen cinderblocks (safe!), so I don't know what in the hell to do. B. thinks I should call their landlord, which I am leaning towards doing because as soon as Daisy feels better she is going to bust through that gap like Seabiscuit.

Meanwhile, I got my computer back from Apple for the 2nd time. Hopefully the disc drive is now fixed. What is not fixed, however, is that certain things on the internet remain invisible. Such as: where a YouTube video is supposed to be, there's no video. It's just comments. Or where Myspace songs are supposed to be on a band's Myspace page? Not there. Or any embedded video on websites? Not there. No "x" inside a square, no empty space, nothing. Just .. not there. Even trying to change my buddy icon in Flickr, where you drag the square on the photo, you know what I'm talking about? That doesn't work either. I've googled my face off and can't find anything about this, talked to several different Apple people about it, I wrote in detail about it both times in my little notes to Apple when sending it in for repair, and nada. This cannot be that hard to fix? Right? Frustration. (Update: Apparently, all evidence to the contrary having spoken to at least 3 other technicians about this, it is not. All I had to do was check a box that says "enable plug-ins." Thank you, Aaron at Apple, who just helped me through this over the phone!) (My sister just had an amazingly positive experience with Apple that almost restores my faith in corporate America. I'm not kidding.)

Lately I've been feeling very tired and crappy. Partly because my dog worries and ailments are keeping me up nights. Mostly I think I blame the heat. It is so oppressively hot. Nobody can deal with it. We all try to have conversations about how hot it is. In the elevator, on the phone. But there aren't that many original and newfangled ways to say how hot it is. So people just say over and over, "I can't believe how hot it is. It's -- unbelievable." And the other person says in defeated misery, "I know." I have to walk across the street to sign something in another office, and I told the guy I'll have to do it first thing in the morning before the sidewalk starts boiling. He agreed, insisting it's far too hot to make that walk. It's, like, literally across the street. It is a 2-minute walk. That is how hot it is. I can't really form coherent thoughts. I think things like, my house is messy. Weeds is funny. I wish I were as sexy as Mary Louise Parker. How have I gained 10 pounds since last summer? My dog is crippled. I hate my neighbors. Golden Grahams are the best food on earth. Sandy and Dennys are both likeable and annoying at the same time in Many Waters. I wish I could say "take me someplace cool" like they said "take us someplace warm." I can't concentrate long enough to read an actual book. So I lie on the couch and do things like watch The Hills. I'd never seen this show or any of its related shows before this week, and all I can really say is that I don't understand. Is it scripted? Or not? The heck? It's confusing, and it frightens me that there are (a) people like that in the world and (b) young kids who actually watch that show and think that's what your twenties are like. Gross. I'm not sure tonight is a good night to finally watch The Pianist. I'll probably just watch The Nine although if we don't find out by the end of this show what actually happened I am going to be some pissed. And -- great. it looks like they're no longer going to show the final episodes over the summer. Thanks a lot, ABC.

I had a really nice talk with Jessamyn today. We agreed to do something nice for ourselves tonight, be kind to those we love, and start tomorrow with open hearts.

Because I have not been feeling supremely serene lately due to the heat, the dogs, not having my computer, the non-sleep, and so forth, here is a picture to remind myself that I am capable of serenity and that surely I will experience it again soon.