Tony Night! (Spoilers included)

Tony Night is a happy night. Happy, happy, HAPPY!

When the announcer introduced the first presenter as a four-time Tony winner and a nominee tonight, I assumed it would be Audra McDonald. But it was Angela Lansbury. Which is kind of unreal, considering that Angela Lansbury is 81 and Audra McDonald is 36. Not to take anything away from Angela Lansbury, whom I've adored since Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

As I just e-mailed Kymm while demanding that she blog the awards again, Neil Patrick Harris was adorable and Christina Applegate had both a pinched dress and a pinched face.

And God bless John Gallagher, Jr. How goddamn wonderful. I thought Jonathan Groff's smile would fly right off his face as he watched his friend give his delightful, delightful, delightful speech. (Watch it here.)

I hope these aren't considered spoilers.

I am so happy the Tonys are on. It amuses me that Tom Hulce, also known as Amadeus and the voice of Disney's Hunchback (beautiful singing voice by the way) and the black sheep sibling with a son named Cool in Parenthood, is one of Spring Awakening's big producers. I think that is awesome.

Carla Gugino's hair looks like it did in Son-in-Law, a movie I love, but it's not a great look for her. She is so stunning as a brunette. Also, I'm not fond of her florescent green dress.

Nominees who sit stone-faced instead of clapping for themselves or at least cracking a smile annoy me.

STEVEN SATER, WOO! "Spring Awakening is all about the hopes we feel as parents and the wounds we feel as children." And there is Jonathan Groff, again, looking overcome upon a Spring Awakening victory. What a tremendous speech. (Watch it here.)

I didn't know that Melina Kanakaredes was in Cabaret. I think they ended up letting everyone who wanted to play Sally Bowles. Also, I hate her dress. And her make-up. And she is not reading the teleprompter well at all! Mortifying. Could they not have found someone better to introduce John Kander? Holy Hell! I guess it's because she's on a CBS show. Shameful. What about Bebe Neuwirth? Chita Rivera? Joel Grey? These are just the first few that come to mind. Melina F-ing Kanakaredes? Excuse me?

Now I am apparently copying off of Kymm and typing throughout the entire broadcast.

Curtains looks good. David Hyde Pierce is great. Maybe there should be a musical starring David Hyde Pierce and Neil Patrick Harris. They could play Niles and Barney and sing and dance together. I would enjoy that.

Taye and Idina together! Walking out to a song from Annie Get Your Gun. Bizarre. Idina Menzel is beautiful, but I'm not crazy about the monochromatic dress and make-up. She sort of looked like this, at least hair and make-up-wise, when she won for Wicked, and it was a nice contrast to the green skin we'd seen her in a few minutes earlier when she performed, but Idina! Color. You should look into it, really. And Spring Awakening wins Best Score. And they look very happy, and it's adorable. And Sater and Shiek each just hugged and kissed Michael Cerveris on the way up! Interesting. And cue the Jonathan Groff reaction shot. Maybe the Tony producers are trying to reach out to the young audience by showing Groff all the time. Not a bad tactic, I'd say. "This is for you, The Guilty Ones." LOVELY. Also, I'd like Duncan Shiek to shave his neck. He just said, "Musical theater rocks," like, "Hello, I am a rocker, and this just occurred to me." Cute.

There's Anika Noni Rose with Donny Osmond. It really bothered me that in the midst of the Beyonce / Jennifer Hudson extravaganza nobody ever noted that Anika Noni Rose was the 3rd Dreamgirl in the movie and that she was a damn Tony winner. And I love Donny Osmond's voice a lot, but his Botox / facelift is frightening me.

Rosie O'Donnell will be so happy that Mary Louise Wilson won. I would really, really, really, really, really like to see Grey Gardens. I like her pants suit. She is lovely. Christine Ebersole looks gorgeous and like a sunbeam is shining down from heaven on her face.

I love you, Phylicia Rashad, but that is an unfortunate tie-dyed tent that you are wearing. I forgive you because you gave one of the best acceptance speeches I've ever heard. "Often I've wondered what does it take for this to happen. And now I know. It takes effort and grace, tremendous self-effort and amazing grace. And in my life that grace has taken numerous forms. The first was the family into which I was born, parents who loved and wanted me, and a mother who fought fearlessly, courageously, consistently so that her children above all else could realize their full potential as human beings. Teachers who wanted to be teachers. Art. All my life. A brilliant play, a magnificent role, a producer with a vision, a producer with a heart, and a director who dares to see me as an artist capable of many things. I thank God for everything, every, every single thing. For my mother, for my sister, for my brothers, for my children, and for this." (Yes, I just transcribed that from the 2004 Tony Awards show which I am physically incapable of deleting from my TiVo.)

Okay. Choreography. Bill T. Jones for Spring Awakening. And he is dancing down the aisle and jumping onto the stage. Well, wow! He is psyched! And, unsurprisingly, so is Jonathan Groff. This is funny because Shelley did not approve of the choreography of this show, not one little bit. It made her put her face in her hands. Oh, well! This guy is totally jazzed, and I'm loving this Spring Awakening sweep so far. (Watch his acceptance here.)

Rainn Wilson looks nothing like Dwight Schrute! Weird. Claire Danes' long blond hair is loathsome, as is her over-articulation. I cannot believe how much I loved her as Angela Chase and how much she totally gives me the creeps now.

Jennifer Ehle is so gorgeous, oh my God. And there is Martha Plimpton! Damn. Another Parenthood person. I love Parenthood. And Jennifer Ehle wins. Which is funny because she is the quintessential Elizabeth Bennet, of course, and I'm in the middle of reading Austenland. She's sounding very American. Why did I think she was English? What the hell? She sounds vaguely English, but not really. I'm very confused. I also loved her in that dark and dismal movie Paradise Road. But I really think she sounds American and someone needs to clear this up for me.

There is adorable Justin from Ugly Betty! He is precious. And weirdly, I am now feeling affection for Mary Poppins, the Broadway version, even though I've always hated the thought of you. And I don't like the way they sing "Chim chimUHny, chim chimUHny, chimchim cheree." It is spelled "chiminy." Not "chimuhny."But other than that, I am slightly more interested in it. I like this Bert. They certainly did give Mary Poppins a lot of time, good Lord.

Harry Smith? Okaaaay. Whatever. He's presenting "The Year in Plays." Poor plays. They really get the shaft.

Liev and Cynthia Nixon make quite a dashing pair of presenters.

Eddie Izzard! I hope his wife Elizabeth is watching. He is being very silly, and it's very strange to see him as someone other than Wayne Malloy because that's the only way I've ever seen him until now.

Marg Helgenberger looks better every time I see her. She is aging backwards. And now a musicals montage. I did not know that The Cat in the Hat and High Fidelity were made into musicals. And I think that Legally Blonde looks pretty bad. Mostly just because the new nose of the lead actress jars me every time I see a photo of her. Harry Connick, Jr.: also aging incredibly well. And there's the director of Rent, Michael Grief, against Michael Mayer, the director of Spring Awakening. And Mayer takes it. He is very pumped and is wearing a lavender tie. "I think it's awesome that the Broadway community has embraced our musical of young people struggling with the confusing and exhilarating journey to adulthood. And I believe that it is only with open eyes and open ears and open minds and open hearts that we can guide future generations until one day societal repression and sex as taboo are no longer themes for which directors win Tony Awards. Thank you very much." (Watch his acceptance speech here.)

Patti Lupone is wearing an unfortunate dress. And the microphone is blocking her mouth. She still looks great, though. And here's Raul Esparza! Whom I have never seen perform! This is very exciting, as I love him in Tick, tick... BOOM! Unsurprisingly, he is giving an A*W*E*S*O*M*E with capital letters and stars performance tonight. If he's like this throughout all of Company, how could anyone else win tonight? (Watch his beautiful performance here.)

What in the name of Antoinette Perry is Marcia Gay Harden wearing? Gee, I wonder if The Coast of Utopia will win Best Play? It only looks like the best play ever. Judd Hirsch is wearing opaque black sunglasses. Perhaps he just had eye surgery. There's no other excuse. They're explaining the plays, which are getting a few clips each. Judd Hirsch just pronounced Pittsburg as Fittsburgh, which makes me think of Titspervert/Fitzherbert in Bridget Jones' Diary.

Sam Waterston's gray hair is very distinguished. I hate men and their ascension into aging gorgeousness. Best Revival of a Play: Journey's End. Fellow presenter Felicity Huffman apparently could not care less. The man accepting the award: "Is there not a better way for human beings to resolve conflict than war? Is there not a better way?" Amen.

Tommy Tune! Still tall. Wearing what looks like a big white magnolia on his lapel. I enjoy him. He's singing! "Look around, they disappear from sight, and when I recall what used to be, I'm weeping like a weeping willow tree, just look around, you'll see a memory." Very nice song over the shots of the people who died -- lovely, really.

I'm getting sort of tired of this and just want to see the live performances from Spring Awakening and Grey Gardens. Here are Kevin Spacey and Jane Krakowski, whom I saw in Grand Hotel when I was a junior in high school, the first show I ever saw on Broadway. Is Jane Krakowski still dating Tim Rice? I think I remember her saying that when co-hosting Live with Regis one day. I found that a very weird pairing, frankly.

Okay, I stopped paying attention for a few minutes. But here is Audra McDonald presenting and looking incredibly beautiful. Leading actress in a play. I am very torn between Angela Lansbury and Vanessa Redgrave, two legends. And some very random woman wins who is very thrilled and shocked. Wait, I remember her from that show with the blonde Southern comic. What was that show? Oh yeah. Grace Under Fire. It was on in reruns, along with Coach, all summer when I worked at Disney World. Anyway. I remember her from that. She is being a little too silly and over-the-top in this speech and I feel it's kind of disrespectful especially when she beat Lansbury and Redgrave. It's just kind of ridiculous. I feel like I would like her in real life, but she just called her Tony statue a "tchotchki." No.

GREY GARDENS! Is coming up. And here are the guys from Jersey Boys. And they are singing again this year! Well, that is awesome. I don't recall ever seeing performances from the same show two years in a row. It's fine by me. I like these guys a lot. Shelley said this show went on forever, though. My sister just called and asked me, "Who are these clowns?" Ha! She also said she has a mouse in her room and she just saw it scurry across the floor. Ah, New York City.

Fast-forwarding. I'm very sad that I did not get to see Captain von Trapp make an acceptance speech because of Frank Langella. Patrick Wilson! I used to see him as Curly in Oklahoma ... now I see him as the adulterous husband who gets naked in Little Children.

And look at the magnificent Christine Ebersole. She looks and sounds exactly like Little Edie. This is uncanny, truly. I cannot imagine her not winning. (Watch her performance here.) And look! Here is the gorgeous trio of Moritz, Wendla, and Melchior announcing that they'll be performing soon. Hooray.

Oh, there's Christopher Plummer presenting. Good, good. He is still very dreamy, I think. And the Best Play is The Coast of Utopia. And there is Tom Stoppard in all of his bushy-haired glory.

It doesn't surprise me that Zach Braff is presenting Spring Awakening as he's been very public about his love for the show. And here it is, holy wow. There's Lea Michele, looking as ever like mini-Idina Menzel and being a good sport about not being nominated. I really am not too nuts about the "Mama Who Bore Me" thing they've been the making the rounds with lately. Honestly. It just does not really represent the true awesomeness of the show for me. And here's "The Bitch of Living," THANK GOD!!!!!!!! And the lyrics are different, what? Oh well! There's John Gallagher, Jr., singing and thinking, "Hello, I just won a Tony." Random key change! And there is Jonathan Groff singing and thinking, "I will never beat Raul Esparza, but I am still wonderful in every way." What is going on with these lyrics? I do not understand. Nor do I much care. It's still splendid. And somehow Groff jumped off the chair and flew through the air landed on his knees. Does he always do that? And now they are singing "Totally Fucked!" and covering their mouths for the curse words! And they're "Blah, blah, blah"-ing and jumping and leaping and dancing, and it's magic. (Watch the video of the performance here.)

I am fast-forwarding through Fantasia because I'm getting impatient for the end. The reaction shots are kind of hilarious when she finishes. Taye and Idina look both confused and concerned. Maybe they never saw her become hysterical during a song on American Idol.

Bernadette Peters fills me with happiness. She is so small but so commanding and so perfect. OMG, what if Jonathan Groff wins? Okay. Deep breaths. And it's David Hyde Pierce. WOW! This really shocks me. He looks rather nauseated and shocked, too, walking down the aisle. He is shaking and crying. Oh God, beautiful. "And I'm sittin' here tonight and I'm reminded of Raul's amazing performance and my dear friend Michael Cerveris and Gavin who tap dances on the ceiling and Jonathan who has so much talent at a young age that I have to go take a nap ..." He is lovely. He seems genuinely overcome and moved. And he thanked his partner Brian of 24 years publicly, finally. Wonderful.

Ben Vereen and Usher. Oh, I hope Jonathan Groff is okay. I'm sure he is. He's like 21 years old and has a long future on the stage. Keep your chin up, Jonathan! Ben Vereen and Usher are presenting Lead Actress in a musical. If Christine Ebersole loses and Audra McDonald (don't get me wrong, I love her) wins her FIFTH I might fall over. Oh shit, why am I so nervous for this one? Woo! Christine wins! She is divine.

Best Musical: Spring Awakening. Wow. Stunning and magnificent, if you ask me. Everyone is screaming and pumped. Carla Gugino appears to be giving them a standing ovation all alone in her row in her florescent green dress. Why is Tamara Tunie standing onstage? What the hell? Oh, she's a producer. Who knew? Stupid Tony producers for giving the show time for those stupid "there's a little Broadway in everyone" clips instead of letting the goddamn best musical give its whole acceptance speech before getting played off.

Anyway. Until next year. Phew. That was exhausting. I don't know how Kymm does this every year for multiple awards shows. All props to her. I'm going to bed now to dream about showtunes and curtain calls.