Denied

Shelley teaches spinning in New York City and is more interested than most in hearing about all of the details of my crazy exercise class. She has become somewhat obsessed with it from across the country, and we both put it on our calendars to go to the class together when she was in town this week. We've been completely excited about it to the point of near hysteria.

So we showed up at the gym. I had the ridiculously high $10 guest fee in hand, and after I scanned my membership card, I told the woman at the desk that I had a guest. She informed me that guests aren't allowed after 5 pm. Shelley and I just stood there and blinked in surprise. The woman pointed to an explanation of this policy taped to the counter. Shelley said, "But we've been planning this for two months!" The women looked unsympathetic. I said, "But we just want to go to the class. What if we ask the teacher for permission and he says yes? Could she come then?" And another woman sitting in an office behind the counter said rather loudly and meanly, "NO. That's the policy." So we turned and walked out, quite bitterly disappointed. I was feeling the angry tears come on, the kind that spring to your eyes when you're not sad but just plain old mad. I might have even gripped the steering wheel and made angry wailing noises. We consoled ourselves by ordering a ton of take-out sushi and heading to Maryelizabeth's, where we were cheered up by her kids' cuteness and the surreal save the world episode of American Idol. Can I just say once again that I love Josh Groban? I know, it makes no sense.

I am trying not to let my rage at being denied so harshly at the gym diminish my love for it. I truly do love that gym in all of its stinky, crowded glory. I feel like it's the gym of the people. And the policy, while totally not conducive to our plan, is posted. And I guess it does serve the purpose of depopulating the gym at its peak hours when there truly are not enough treadmills and weight machines to go around. I wish they would have let us ask the teacher for permission, because there is no way he would have turned away a willing body at whom he could scream, "LOVE YOURSELF!" And I really don't think one more body in that class would in any way tax the resources of the gym, particularly if they were paid that astronomical guest fee that they charge. But whatever. I am still going to love my class and its teacher and ignore the existence of those bitches behind the counter who did not even try to pretend to be nice about squelching our aerobic dreams.

I'm sad that Rosie won't be returning to The View next season but not surprised. My love for her remains unconditional and unwavering, and I will keep reading her blog and watch and see what comes next. Frankly, after enjoying her old show so immensely, it was a total coup and blessing to be able to watch her on TV every day again for a whole season. I love her, love her, love her.

I find myself having building anxiety about the presidential election. I am just not sure that America is ever going to truly recover from the across-the-board debacle that has been the George W. Bush presidency. I feel the only way that this country can redeem itself is to not allow its next president to be elected by the evangelical, redneck, gun toting right. I'm sure lots of evangelicals are lovely people, but it's the maniacal ones, like those who support the recent Supreme Court decision on abortion, and think that intelligent design should be required to be taught in public schools, and think that stem cell research kills babies, and think that only a Republican president will keep the terrorists away, and who think that there is actually a way to "win" in Iraq -- that there is something actually to be "won" there, what the fuck, seriously, what are we trying to win? whom are we trying to beat? what is the definition of winning in Iraq, I really wish someone would just tell me -- who frighten and horrify me on every level. (Elisabeth Hasselbeck actually said, relative to the election and terrorists, that certain Democratic candidates would not be able to keep the terrorists from striking. Because some of them want to pull us out of Iraq. Like the two are connected. What? Is this not 2007? Has she learned nothing? What is going on?) I truly am frightened that they are so much more organized than the left will ever manage to be that they are going to win again. And it really is a crippling fear that strikes me deep in my heart. I was listening to the political junkie on NPR in the car the other day, and someone called in to say he was a conservative evangelical and that none of the Republican candidates are conservative enough for him. He was an intelligent-sounding, humorous guy, but come on. COME ON. The political junkie said that someone like Sam Brownback might end up swooping in. And I actually was so chilled to the bone by that statement that I felt myself freezing up to the point where I could hardly pay attention to the road. I am in absolute denial of such a scenario. Something like that cannot happen. It just cannot happen. I haven't even picked a Democratic candidate to support -- at this point, just give me a Democrat, any Democrat. I have gotten to the point of feeling totally exhausted and defeated by George Bush's second term and just living for the day when it is OVER. And the thought that someone other than a Democrat will take the White House and that this nightmare of anti-same-sex marriage, anti-stem cell research, pro-war, pro-gun HORROR will continue once that fucking idiot is out of there is enough to make me ... I don't know. Make me deeply sad and deeply scared.