50 "Best" High School Movies

Not a stalker.
Originally uploaded by Elizalou.

Entertainment Weekly has posted its list of the 50 best high school movies. Here's my take on the choices.

50. Splendor in the Grass ~ 1961

I might need to watch this one again, because I don't think I got through it the first time. I think part of it was that my young girl's heart could not bear seeing Natalie Wood as anyone but Maria in West Side Story. I was like, what do you mean she's not Puerto Rican?

49. Sixteen Candles ~ 1984

Its placement as #49th on this list is preposterous. This movie is great not so much because of the Samantha / Jake Ryan story but because of all of the secondary characters. Come on. The grandparents? Long Duck Dong? I mean, "thanks for lending me the donger"? It doesn't get much better than that.

48. Just One of the Guys ~ 1985

I've only seen parts of this movie. It never really did it for me.

47. Napoleon Dynamite ~ 2004

I've only seen this once, in the theater, and I did laugh very hard. However, I didn't anticipate the pop culture phenomenon this movie would become, and I think its overexposure all over the internet and strange tie-ins you can still buy at places like Spencer's Gifts kind of ruin this movie for me in retrospect. Tina Majorino is the best thing in the movie. She usually is.

46. Flirting ~ 1992

I've never seen this.

45. My Bodyguard ~ 1980

I've never seen this.

44. Can't Hardly Wait ~ 1998

This is a pretty good movie. I actually said to my boyfriend the other day, "Why y'all gotta waste my flava? Damn!" (And sounded quite stupid doing so.) Jennifer Love Hewitt and the fact that the title doesn't work grammatically notwithstanding, some of the performances in this film are fantastic, especially those of Lauren Ambrose, Seth Green, Ethan Embry (who will always be Mark in Empire Records to me) (SPEAKING OF, WHERE IS EMPIRE RECORDS ON THIS LIST? TRAVESTY!), and Charlie "I Can't Feel My Legs" Korsmo.

43. Stand and Deliver ~ 1988

Uniformly excellent and one of the many movies about teachers that completely warped my perception of how I'd be as one. Mr. Escalante is of course now Commander Adama, so, rock.

42. Fame ~ 1980

SO GOOD. It took me a while to realize that the bald, mean Dr. Romano on ER was the very curly-topped, very sensitive and artistic Montgomery. And that Doris ended up being Sharon in Grease 2. Anyway, this movie is fantastic and dark and inspiring and cheesy and the scene when they all start DANCING IN THE STREET to Bruno's song makes me want to scream. It's that awesome. Plus, Leroy.

41. Can't Buy Me Love ~ 1987

This movie would be much, much, much closer to the top of my list. This was an oft-watched classic at our house. I still know much of it by heart. All the way down the line, it is wonderful. Sometimes it's hard for me to reconcile that Ronald Miller is now McDreamy. I mean, Ronald Miller would never have grown up and cheated on Cindy Mancini, no matter what. And he never would have turned around and broken Meredith's heart and then jerk her around season after season. He was a jerk for a while in the movie, but clearly he reformed in time to deliver the fucking awesome "Cools, nerds, your side, my side. Man, it's all bullshit. It's just tough enough to be yourself" speech at lunch. Anyway. I love this movie.

40. Risky Business ~ 1983

This movie has never done it for me, and I think today I would go blind if forced to behold Tom Cruise in his underpants.

39. The Virgin Suicides ~ 2000

I didn't like this movie. I guess I am not deep enough.

38. Bye Bye Birdie ~ 1963

One of my most beloved films of all time. As a child, I think I sincerely believed I would get to grow up and look like Ann-Margret in that pink outfit. I did not. And Conrad Birdie was a sleaze and Hugo was an idiot, but it's so beautifully done, and every single adult is perfect -- Paul Lynde? Dick Van Dyke? Janet Leigh? Maureen Stapleton? It was a dream cast. This movie is dreamy. Everyone should watch it.

37. Friday Night Lights ~ 2004

I ended up fast-forwarding a lot of this movie even though I really wanted to like it, mostly because it started the kid from Sling Blade all grown up.

36. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ~ 2005

I don't know that I'd exactly call this a teen movie. I don't know. I've never been too fond of the movies, honestly. I think Harry was miscast, and I've never quite gotten over that.

35. Brick ~ 2006

HATED IT. A lot.

34. Get Real ~ 1999

I've never seen or even heard of this.

33. Hoop Dreams ~ 1994

I've never seen this, but I'd like to.

32. Scream ~ 1996

Scream was good. They should have stopped with the first one. And all of its imitations suck. You can't often effectively imitate an imitator, you know?

31. The Karate Kid ~ 1984

Sigh. What's not to love about this movie? Nothing, that's what. I still get goosebumps when Elisabeth Shue runs to Daniel in her skirt and knee socks at the end. And I still feel intense dislike for Johnny and fucking Sensei. WHAT assholes. This is one of the best underdog stories ever. Love, love, love.

30. Bring It On ~ 2000

It's easy to dismiss this movie as stupid until you've seen it. It's really good. Silly, but smart at the same time, sort of like Can't Hardly Wait. (But much better.) Great casting.

29. Gregory's Girl ~ 1982

I've never seen this.

28. Back to the Future ~ 1985

It seems very wrong to just slap this movie in the middle of this list. We loved this movie so much when we were kids, especially my sister. And I have distinct memories of Shelley and I saying "1.21 GIGAWATTS!?! 1.21 gigawatts!" to each other on a regular basis.

27. To Sir, With Love ~ 1967

See #43. Damn Sidney Poitier for making me think I could change lives like he did. Damn him!

26. Pretty in Pink ~ 1986

Well. I never had super-strong feelings for this one. I've seen it a billion times, surely. But I could never really get worked up into much of a froth about the Blane vs. Duckie debate. I thought that she and Duckie were better off as friends, and I also thought that Blane was just about the wimpiest, lamest "heartthrob" ever put on film. And the stuff about her parents was just highly depressing. And I thought her prom dress was very ugly. The end. Annie Potts was terrific, though. They should have made the movie about her.

25. Hoosiers ~ 1986

I've never seen this.

24. Rushmore ~ 1998

I need to watch this again. My primary feeling toward this movie these days is that it's highly overrated.

23. Cooley High ~ 1975

I've never seen this.

22. American Pie ~ 1999

Funny. Gross, but funny.

21. Grease ~ 1978

Please see my thoughts in this entry for my feelings about this movie. This movie needs to be very, very close to the top of this list. Please!

20. Dead Poets Society ~ 1989

I'm starting to get downright indignant toward the rankings on this list. In short, they blow. This movie is basically perfection for me. I don't understand how anyone with a heart and soul cannot love it. I don't care how you feel about Robin Williams. It's wonderful and beautiful and sad and lovely and I showed it to every one of my classes, and they all loved it, too. I seriously could start crying just sitting here thinking about it, so I have to stop. I just looked him up to see what that rat bastard Cameron is up to these days. Apparently he guest-starred on House, which of course stars Robert Sean Leonard, who played the exquisite Neil in this movie. Interesting. I am filling up with rage while recalling the way he spat out, "LET. KEATING. FRY." Hate. I hate him still. But I love all the rest of them. Especially Knox Wimberly/Dan Rydell.

19. The Last Picture Show ~ 1971

I've never seen this.

18. Rock 'n' Roll High School ~ 1979

Never seen it.

17. Peggy Sue Got Married ~ 1986

Never liked it.

16. Lucas ~ 1986

Mortifying. Good. I remember something about a cockroach. Or locusts. Something about bugs. I don't know. I felt sorry for Corey Haim and didn't buy Charlie Sheen as a nice guy, that's for damn sure, even then.

15. Carrie ~ 1976

I've never really seen this, but Sissy Spacek's daughter sings on the soundtrack to The Last Kiss and has a very pretty voice.

14. Donnie Darko ~ 2001

Please. I don't even pretend to have gotten through or understood this movie. Life is too short.

13. High School ~ 1968

I've never seen this.

12. Mean Girls ~ 2004

Very good, but I'm so sure this is ranked so highly. It just came out! Give it a little time and let's see how it ages, okay?

11. Say Anything ~ 1989

If I'd made this list, this would be number one. I know I've read online before that some people think Lloyd Dobler is a stalker and that this is a bad movie, but I don't know how they can say that if they've actually seen it. Lloyd is not a stalker. What does he do that is stalkery? Nothing. To say that someone is a stalker is to say that there is something menacing or unstable about him or that he is threatening in some way. And I'm so sure. Lloyd? PLEASE. Diane Court is still in love with Lloyd utterly and completely and breaks up with him about as convincingly as -- I don't know -- someone who obviously doesn't want to break up with anybody. That he shows up at her house with the radio might be unrealistic and out of character for any teenage male who'd probably never come up with an idea so awesome, but I'd hardly call him a stalker. I just can't bear to have anyone say anything negative about this movie. La la la. Don't want to hear it. I love it completely. If there is anything negative to be said, it's that Lloyd Dobler is an ideal that doesn't exist in real life. And no teenage girl will ever meet a teenage boy who is as wonderful as he is. And that is pretty disappointing to teenage girls. I know, having been one.

10. Ferris Bueller's Day Off ~ 1986

Twenty years. This movie is twenty years old. It is still in a class of its own, I think.

9. Election ~ 1999

I think I'm just going to have to let go of the rankings or I am going to keep getting more and more livid. You've got two Matthew Broderick films back-to-back on the list, though, and HELLO, which is the more beloved and classic film? Not this one. This movie is well made but it's just disturbing and Tracy Flick is wretched. Matthew Broderick is wretched. It made me feel gross.

8. Boyz in the Hood ~ 1991

I've never seen it.

7. Clueless ~ 1995

This is definitely it its rightful place in the top ten. It's still totally in the lexicon of, I don't know, my universe and that of my friends. It's brilliant and hilarious and touching and absurd all at the same time. This is a great movie.

6. American Graffiti ~ 1973

I've never see this. I know, I know.

5. Heathers ~ 1989

I think this belongs here on the list. Bitterly funny and bitterly cruel.

4. Rebel Without A Cause ~ 1955

I've seen this, but I never really got very into it.

3. Dazed and Confused ~ 1993

Amen. I've seen this movie so many times at this point that I'm not sure it's normal. It's a movie about seniors in high school that came out the year I was a senior in high school, so it always rang very true to me even though it was set in 1976. I saw in the characters people I knew in real life. Especially Slater. My friends and I sure hung out with a lot of Slaters back then. Why, I do not know.

2. Fast Times at Ridgemont High ~ 1982

I must not have been allowed to watch this or something because it's never really been on my radar.

1. The Breakfast Club ~ 1985

I can't say I disagree with its place as number one even though I think Say Anything would be there on my own personal list. This is by far the best of the John Hughes movies. Not one of the actors isn't perfect for his or her role. Pretty much every line in this movie hit home for me when I first saw it and still does today. And Ally Sheedy's declaration of "when you grow up, your heart dies," is something I've been fighting against since the moment I heard her say it. That said, Claire is still annoying, and it's very unsettling as a young person to be so turned on by someone like John Bender who is clearly every teen girl's nightmare. GOD, being a teenager is confusing. This movie really captures that. I loved it then, and I love it now.